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Crying Discussion » Had another go today » August 1, 2017 7:33 pm

tearhunter
Replies: 20

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To be honest, all the cards were very much stacked in my favour. I'd been feeling a bit emotion earlier in the day for other reasons. The subject matter I could relate to very easily. Although for very different reasons my recent issues mean I can very much understand and empathise with the feeling of fear and panic that these solider went though during WW1.

​So, with all that and not fighting the emotions it was fairly easy for me to get the tears flowing. And No, I don't think I'd have shed tears prior to all that gone on. I might have got wet eyed but I don't think to the point of flowing tears.

Crying Discussion » Male Observation... » July 31, 2017 8:12 pm

tearhunter
Replies: 15

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I think in the main you are correct - what I was saying was something he could relate to which he found emotional enough to trigger tears. But, I also think he is very empathic and feels the emotions of others very strongly. So a bit of both but I agree more towards the second category you mention.

​I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "as long as I did it discreetly" - sound like you cried quietly with a few tears only. No big loud distracting crying with uncontrollable sobbing. My counsellor was similar, visible tears, slightly wobbly chin but no sobbing or audible crying of any sort. The tears where visible and he made no attempt to hide them but that was it. I sometimes think he would have felt wiping his tears away would have been distracting - we were making eye contact throughout - there was no real opportunity to look away and discreetly wipe his tears away!  

Crying Discussion » Had another go today » July 31, 2017 7:55 pm

tearhunter
Replies: 20

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I've a new one for you to try and get the tears started TorNorth! Was watching the events to mark 100 years since the battle of Passchendaele - horrific battle of WW1. They showed an interview with an old solider - a Harry Patch, sometimes referred to as the 'last tommy' - the last UK solider to fight in WW1 - he died a few years ago at 109 years old I think. But, in this interview he finally opened up about some of the horrors he witnessed - he's crying - so emotional.

​As I watched I felt tears sting my eyes. Thought of your attempts to make yourself cry and decided to just go with the emotion and see what happens. My eyes gradually filled with tears and after about a minute or so a tear fell and ran down my left cheek followed a few seconds later by a tear down my right cheek. My eyes continued to fill with tears - I let out a quiet sigh as fresh tears ran down both cheeks almost simultaneously - down the same tear tracks. Over the course of about two further minutes three tears ran down my right cheek - all down the same line and a further two down my left cheek, but one ran down the side of my nose! Found it all very very moving.

​My wife sitting next to me also shed tears which also rolled unchecked down her face - stunning!

So one to try when you can get the place to yourself and your in the right emotional mood!  

Crying Discussion » Anyone else this picky?? » July 29, 2017 10:34 am

tearhunter
Replies: 9

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Yes I can be picky... I also like to see tears flowing in the eyes, rolling unchecked down an attractive female face when the camera is in pin sharp focus and the lighting is good.

​Anything less and yes the clip drops gradually down the rankings.

​Are you able to re-watch clips that tick all the boxes? New clips are great and I spend too much time looking for new ones but if I can't find a new good one I tend to drop back to an old favourite to relive the frustration.

Crying Discussion » Male Observation... » July 29, 2017 10:28 am

tearhunter
Replies: 15

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woundedpuppy wrote:

You make me think I should look for an attractive male counsellor. http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/wink.png
  I have thought of this before, of course, but for all the money I would spend on one, I have seriously doubted I could say anything moving enough that would make him cry.  My problems and disappointments in life seem to mostly be due to my flaws as opposed to some dramatic, touching or powerful story I could tell.  But anyway, interesting to hear what your counsellor said and how he dealt with everything.  

Kind of a weird question and I know you have no other context in which you know him, but do you think if you were to have met him in another way if you would have been able to tell if he was the type who would cry openly and be very open about others crying?  In other words, is there a sort of vibe exuding from him that you think would be perceptible outside of the counselling office as being that type of guy?  Some men with a gentle voice or sweet personality strike me as being more likely to be criers, for example, or who have mannerisms that are more feminine, although these things don't necessarily correlate...

​Difficult question to answer because right from our first discussions he admitted that from time to time he cries. I think he is an emotional guy and from what I know if him I'm sure he does cry outside the counselling room in his personal life. He had a very open attitude to crying. He was very much a guy who believed cry and shed tears was generally a beneficial thing to do - I believe he would practise what he preached and cry when he needed to.

​I would not say that any of your personal struggles could not make a counsellor cry. Again I thinks it's all about the counsellor feeling and then showing empathy. I don't know for certain but I think what I was talking about that day brought something up for him that was personal and moving for him. Where his professionalism came in was that he

Crying Discussion » Male Observation... » July 29, 2017 10:15 am

tearhunter
Replies: 15

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TorNorth wrote:

I'm impressed that a counsellor would let himself do that. I always think of counsellors as people who are always in control - people who are helpful and understanding but always a little distant and analytical. Obviously him crying in front of you helped ease your reservations about crying in front of another man. I don't know if that would work in my case. Like you I think I'd be more comfortable crying in front of a woman than a man. I'm also far less comfortable watching another man cry.

​I think it was because we got on so well and by this point had built up a good relationship. We had a number of things in common. He was all that you mention above, supportive, analytical but not distant - he was very empathic and I felt he understood and felt what I was going through. Perhaps it's his sense of empathy that caused him to cry.

​As I said before I was not keen to have a male counsellor because I was not comfortable crying in front of another guy. But when the reasons for crying are so big and powerful you eventually don't care about the tears! I was focusing on dealing with some really big and difficult issues which ultimately were more important to tackle than worrying about my crying and who was watching. It one of these being in that situation moments I think. 
 

Crying Discussion » Had another go today » July 29, 2017 10:07 am

tearhunter
Replies: 20

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Interesting... if I was to make myself cry I don't think it would work for me by going through the motions as you tried to do by making yourself sob. For me it has to be the emotion welling up inside - sometimes I can feel it raise up side and it feels like when that feeling reaches my eyes tears start. If it was to try and make myself cry I would need to try and recreate that feeling.

​Your right... finding the right trigger is difficult, and it can change depending on how you are feeling at any given time. I think actors/actresses use personal triggers to make themselves cry it just finding the right one for you at the right time.

Crying Discussion » Male Observation... » July 28, 2017 10:15 am

tearhunter
Replies: 15

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Meant to add... this is the only time where I have been in the presence of another male where both of us have been crying at the same time. Although it's difficult to compare as no two occasions are the same and we'd also built up a unique relationship by this point I think I liked the fact he cried. I have cried with several females (most notably my wife) and I've felt a very close connection - sharing tears with one another is a very intimate moment. Although there is no sexual aspect, I got turned on by his tears not the guy behind them - I felt that special intimacy in this moment as well - even two straight guys crying together is a very special moment.

Crying Discussion » conversation with my boyfriend » July 28, 2017 9:58 am

tearhunter
Replies: 4

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I agree go for it... you said in your introduce yourself post that there is a sexual element for you in crying. If he wants you to be more sexy then he's just given you the green light to incorporate it more into your sex life. Had he noticed a difference in your sexual behaviour when you made love after he'd been crying? I'm guessing he had if he used it to his advantage.

​Yes, I think you should ask him not to wipe his tears when he cries - does he generally wipe his tears when he cries? It might be an automatic response so you might need to gently remind him next time ;o)

​If he can't cry on command (and you don't want that during sex anyway) what if you asked him to fake tears? Find a non-emotional way to make his eyes tear up - you'll get the visual stimulation - is that enough to turn you on?

​I'm jealous, you could have a lot of fun with this and in turn so will he  ;o

Crying Discussion » Male Observation... » July 28, 2017 9:41 am

tearhunter
Replies: 15

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truffle wrote:

Another tearhunter obs for me to tuck away and read again later.

It seems like you weren’t bothered by his crying. Did you feel more comfortable because he verbally prompted you to continue talking? Was there anything else that he did to make his own crying less distracting or bothersome to you? In terms of professionalism, do you think he handled his crying appropriately, or was there anything else that you wish he had done at that time? I ask because, despite my most disciplined efforts, I have on occasion cried in front of patients. 

​Seeing him cry didn't bother me at all - well not that I was annoyed or felt he should have kept his emotions in check. But the time he cried we had spent a lot of time together and we had a very good open and honest relationship going on. By this time he had watched countless tears roll down my face and witnessed me sobbing uncontrollably several times. We had talked about crying several times - it was him who introduced me to therapeutic crying - mostly we discussed my crying but he did admit several times to his own crying and the fact he generally allowed his tears to flow unchecked down his cheeks.

​Whether this is unique to me because of my 'interest' in crying but the way he cried made a difference. Not once did he make any attempt to hide his emotions. Not one tear was wiped away - even at the end he blew his nose but left the very visible tear tracks intact on his cheeks. He never sobbed, slight chin wobble and tears - with a changed voice when he spoke. I was actually a bit turned on when the tears formed in his eyes and physically turned on when they fell down he cheek! The movement of his tears was mesmerising!

​From a professional point of view I don't feel his crying was inappropriate. It showed empathy, he was genuinely moved to tears by what I was saying. He didn't make his tears an issue but he didn't hide them either. Perhaps if he had made an obvious attempt to stop crying, or

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