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March 30, 2017 7:25 pm  #1


My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

I guess you remember the part when i told you about the guy i met at work almost 2 years ago who had the tickle fetish..Well, at some point i also narrated that my fetish sort of declined after losing contact with this guy, the only one whom i told about it in plain terms. I guess i also told others guys i like emotional men and i'm ok to see a guy crying but not that i have a fetish somehow.
This guy that i told you about had obviously deep serious issues but i couldn't hep falling  for him...Anyway nothing really worked between us and we had very serious arguments on a lot of topics. But on the onset of our last break up he got very emotional while writing to meon fb , he told me he hated me and by the way he was writing i could feel that he was maybe nervous to the point of crying..he told me he got very upset at times on other ocasions because of his work and issues at home and that he would drink a few beers and got worked up untill he fell on his knees and cry for some time...I cannot tell if these were exaggerations as he was manipulating me but i sort of feel he's indeed emotional and it wouldn't take him much to get into a fit and cry.. He also used to flush at times at work because he was nervous and i guess that when he cries he flushes like that and he sobs audibly...He also used to post some pictures on fb at that time and his eyes look a bit puffy but i guess they were like this because of the booze..
But anyway...since this event i became more emotional too and when i see crying scenes in movie i get teary or even i cry a bit, a few tears because i hurt so much...

Last edited by psychic_girl (March 30, 2017 7:30 pm)


“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
― William Shakespeare
 

March 31, 2017 12:48 am  #2


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

I understand how you feel.

I lost my job a month and a half ago. Ever since then, when I listen to music - Broadway, Disney - I find myself crying for no reason at all, just that the words to the songs have hit a nerve. It's been happening at least once a day, every day for the last 6 weeks. Whether this is, in part, due to the fact I've run out of my meds and am waiting for my husband's insurance to finish adding me before I can get more, I don't know. I do know the weather here has not helped. It's mostly rained the last month with the occasional broken clouds and sun, but not nearly enough light in general.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

March 31, 2017 7:48 pm  #3


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

I'm sorry to hear about that, caircair and i hope you'll find a solution somehow. I think music heals in many ways, i listen to a lot of music, mostly psychedelic or industrial vibes with a melancholic beat when i'm down.
I noticed the weather influnces my moods as well though it didn't in the past. But i don't cry anymore unless i watch a more serious drama and strangely there 're the scenes with sad men that get me most.
I think i'm sad because that guy didn't reciprocate my love. I do fine carrer wise and i still get well with most of my friends but i feel the need to be by myself in general. From that time i had this conflict i couldn't get attached to any other guy. I had this impression that he could know what i think about most matters and he knew how he could hurt me too...

Last edited by psychic_girl (March 31, 2017 7:50 pm)


“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
― William Shakespeare
     Thread Starter
 

March 31, 2017 9:20 pm  #4


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

Yeah, being in love with someone who doesn't love you back sucks rocks and when it's someone you've given power to and they use said power against you, well . . .  I think staying solitary for a bit may help - like how if you sprain an ankle, you stay off it for awhile to let it heal, your psyche needs some healing time as well.

Meanwhile, I'll be keeping a good thought for you, psychic_girl. I think as the weather gets better and summer comes that we both will improve greatly.

Edited to add: Oh, and I saw an article that said our city has seen roughly NINE "sunny" days, as in 30% cloud cover or less, since October, although there have been some "partly sunny" days with about 40-70% cloud cover, and about four or five of those "sunny" days had temperatures in the mid 30's, so it wasn't warm and sunny.  Seasonal Affective Disorder, on top of Dysthymia (atypical depression) on top of no medications (until the insurance kicks in again) on top of work stress and lack of work stress equals one down lady.

Last edited by caircair (March 31, 2017 9:28 pm)


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

April 1, 2017 1:29 am  #5


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

Best of luck to both of y'all.  Caircair, I hope you find a job that will be good for you.  To both of you, wherever you go, my thoughts and prayers are always one step behind.  If either one of y'all need me, you know very well where I'm at 24/7.  I hope I hear from you soon and with better news.

 

April 1, 2017 5:25 am  #6


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

Oh, in the end it will get better. And as frustrating as being out of work is, the job I had before was much, MUCH worse for my health. Husband says it was killing me, and I think he was right. Now it's just a matter of finding the next opportunity - one which, I sincerely hope, will be my last job before retirement (15 years from now).


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

April 1, 2017 12:09 pm  #7


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

Better you get into therapy then take meds...


“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
― William Shakespeare
     Thread Starter
 

April 1, 2017 4:16 pm  #8


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

I've done the therapy thing, it helped a lot but I do much, MUCH better with anti-depressants. I look at depression the way I look at diabetes - I have a blood chemical my brain (or body) either doesn't make enough of, or which it can't use the way it should. In fact, I was seeing a counselor starting back in October to get ready for losing my job. I had to quit because I can't afford spending $250 a month right now. Since I'm on unemployment, $$$ is tight!


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

April 1, 2017 4:55 pm  #9


Re: My dracriphilia suffered a mutation ...

I hope you'll get better and find another job as well ! Before becoming depressed myself i tended to think that people with depression exagerrated their symptoms but now i don't have to misjudge such things. I wish you luck and good health. I study psychology at present, i guess this helps a lot...i found some nice books on hypnosis and hypnotherapy on internet and in hoping to learn self hypnosis maybe i'll manage my pain better. If you need any titles or links you can send me a private message if you're interested in what i'm reading ...Have a nice week-end ..


“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
― William Shakespeare
     Thread Starter
 

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