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May 19, 2017 12:38 am  #1

Reddit thread-- man crying in front of female roommate

Thread  about a guy crying in front of his female roommate, and she commented later that it was the first time she'd seen a man cry, and now he's wondering how to feel about that. I sort of like this dynamic; I enjoy it anytime two people talk about one of them crying after the fact. 

Something similar happened to me with my boyfriend, about a year into our relationship. I had to make a decision about a job and it was very stressful for me. I started crying and he held me and comforted me. When I was finished, he said, "Want to know something weird?" And because, of course, I always want to know weird things, he told me that that was his first time seeing someone cry one-on-one. I was pretty shocked because he comforted me like a freakin pro, but he had had a loooong period of being single and with somewhat superficial friendships before meeting me. 

Last edited by meantangerine (May 19, 2017 12:39 am)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"

May 29, 2017 1:35 pm  #2

Re: Reddit thread-- man crying in front of female roommate

These kind of conversations I hope are gradually eroding the view that guys don't / or should not cry. Guys are perfectly able to cry and shed tears as most of you are aware on this forum. But, I guess we all very open to the idea of crying given our interests but take crying into the wider population and it's not such a clear cut view.

​Guy's are far more likely to cry alone (if they don't bottle it up and deny themselves time to cry). Most I think still view it as a weakness and those that don't are concerned they would be judged negatively from anyone that saw them cry. Therefore any crying in front of someone else is generally confined to close relationships - where they know how the other person is likely to react to their tears. I think this is largely true for women as well but female crying does tend to spill out in public a bit more often than guys.

​I hope these conversations continue and slowly the stigma associated with crying will diminish - and we will get more observations.


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