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July 24, 2017 6:13 pm  #1


Had another go today

I was watching the news when the case of the terminally ill baby Charlie Gard came on. The parents have been compelled to let their baby go, and I watched the father give a tearful statement. I was pretty moved by the end of it and found myself getting misty eyed. Immediately I got out my phone and tried to sob. My eyes welled up to the point where my vision was partly blurred. But alas, try as I might, I couldn't get the tears to spill. My lip curled mildly and trembled and my nose got runny.

It was a disappointing venture, but I do have the footage. If I can ever get emotional to the point where my eyes overflow, I'll post a cropped image directly here. I can once again offer a screencap of my eyes, or my mouth (if you want to see a hideous shape) to interested parties who want to see the meagre fruits of my efforts. 


Women crying is super hot  ~TorNorth
 

July 24, 2017 6:16 pm  #2


Re: Had another go today

I'd definitely like to see anything you have!


It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
 

July 25, 2017 3:56 pm  #3


Re: Had another go today

I wonder if grabbing the phone killed the moment for you(?) Perhaps you need to let yourself shed a tear before you add the additional pressure of filming / taking a picture. Although I can understand you wanting to capture the moment when that first tear runs down your cheek. What about next time not picking up the camera until a tear spills over - you'll only capture it on your cheek but you will have cried.

​You might be afflicted by the common male problem - large tear ducts! - apparently one of the reasons us guys don't shed as many tears is because the tears drain from our eyes into our nose - which might explain your runny nose! One way to counteract this is to lie down face towards the roof! This causes the tears in the eyes to flow to the outer edge of your eyes - the eyelids are also thinner here (generally) so tears can spill out easier - does mean they run to your ears however.

​The only other way to get tears to spill is for the emotion to hit you hard and fast (or a fairly rapid tear production over a few minutes) - basically too many tears for these large tear ducts to handle.

​Do your eyes water for non-emotional reasons? Do tears spill from chopping onions, windy weather etc?

​I might have missed a previous post / thread but I assume you are looking to cry and get real tears falling from your eyes? Obviously the Charlie Gard case touched you emotionally (felt tears sting the back of my eyes reading about this over the past few weeks) - why not try and get yourself into an emotional state of mind (be careful here don't depress yourself too much!) and cue up a series of YouTube videos. There are loads of very emotional videos where people talk about difficult events including loss. Might be a bit lame using other people grief to make yourself cry but you can't easily cry without pushing the emotional buttons. Also by watching a few videos you might increase the time your emotional for allowing the tears to build up and eventually fall.

​Hope this makes sense and helps - as a guy who has learned (not by choice) to cry and shed the odd tear if I can answer any questions and help more than happy to do so.

 

July 25, 2017 4:46 pm  #4


Re: Had another go today

tearhunter wrote:

I wonder if grabbing the phone killed the moment for you(?) Perhaps you need to let yourself shed a tear before you add the additional pressure of filming / taking a picture. Although I can understand you wanting to capture the moment when that first tear runs down your cheek. What about next time not picking up the camera until a tear spills over - you'll only capture it on your cheek but you will have cried.

I think the main reason is, I wanted capture the ACTUAL crying, and not the aftermath of it. I've seen pictures of women online with tears down their face or blotchy eyes and a caption saying "this is me crying". I always think, "Uh..NOPE, that's you after you're done crying". I know this is enough for some people to enjoy, but not so much for me. I think you're right about the pressure of filming getting in the way, but I'm not sure it would make difference. I have tried to cry without the camera as well.

I'm mainly looking to cry properly, whether it's brief or long. I want to take into account everything that comes with it, including tears. I'm quite curious to see what my expressions will be like. I think that might be part of the problem, I want an emotional reaction, while also try to observe the reaction clinically, which ends up detaching you from the emotion. 

The getting into a properly emotional state of mind is something I want to do. But in my case it's going to take a LOT of time and effort. Having that much time alone is the main issue here - I live with four other people, including my wife.

My eyes do water for non-emotional reasons. A good long yawn can potentially get the tears spilling over. Oddly enough, when I watch videos of women cry, sometimes a tear will spill out of my eyes. Not because I'm getting emotinonal, but because I'm staring so hard! I imagine someone walking in might think I'm crying from watching a sad video XD
 


Women crying is super hot  ~TorNorth
     Thread Starter
 

July 25, 2017 7:38 pm  #5


Re: Had another go today

Ha, yeah I've seen those videos as well - "I'm crying" - not a tear in sight!

​I think it's good your trying to 'actually' cry - most guys run a mile from this! I guess if you've not 'proper' cried for a while you want to re-discover what it all feels and looks like for you. Apart from a previous event a number of years back until fairly recently I had forgotten what it was like to cry. Fairly recent events have changed that completely and I'm now quite well versed in what it's like to cry!

​I think for sure the recording the entire crying event is impeding your ability to cry. Any distraction from the emotion will cause this - how many times have you heard people say - "I don't want to talk about it, I'll just busy myself with something else". To get over that, the emotion has to be way stronger! Which is tricky without making yourself feel really down! For me, my ability to cry was caused by a major traumatic event and the aftermath of that. It was huge, it completely rewired everything - please don't try the same thing to make you cry - trust me not worth it  ;o)

​I think your right - it's going to be difficult to get the time and privacy to 'proper' cry - because you will need to lose a bit of emotional control to reach that level of crying. But, it's not time and effort that will get you there. The best way is something that takes no effort and very little time. Difficulty is finding a trigger for you that achieves this.    

​Glad to hear you can shed a tear - the mechanics are working then ;o) But it highlights what I was saying earlier - yawn generated tears, a quick reaction which overwhelms the tear ducts ability to drain the excess tears. And staring at a screen, long exposure which gradually but consistent makes your eyes water and tears build up. Give your eyes even a few seconds to drain excess tears and they probably won't spill over.

​Yeah, living with that many people limits the time to 'practice' - again people about is another distraction you don't need.

​Can you remember the last time you proper cried - flowing tears? Something tells me it was pre-adult - teenager? How many years has it been? If it's been that long it's not surprising it's difficult. First time I cried years ago after a long absence it was a big emotional jolt that caused it. Events since have meant it's become somewhat easier.

 

July 25, 2017 9:19 pm  #6


Re: Had another go today

I can clearly  remember the last time I cried proper. I was 13. I told the story a few times here already I think. My grandparents had visited from my country of origin and then went back. I went to take a shower and started to sob because I was missing them. Oddly enough, when my grandfather actually passed away more recently I didn't shed a tear.

I certainly don't plan to do anything drastic to make myself cry. I never really felt that I need to cry, from a psychological standpoint. It's mainly curiousity - and for the benefit of those here who like manly tears


Women crying is super hot  ~TorNorth
     Thread Starter
 

July 26, 2017 6:54 am  #7


Re: Had another go today

TorNorth wrote:

Oddly enough, when I watch videos of women cry, sometimes a tear will spill out of my eyes. Not because I'm getting emotinonal, but because I'm staring so hard! I imagine someone walking in might think I'm crying from watching a sad video XD
 

TorNorth, you crack me up!  Staring SO hard at a crying video that your eyes water out of dryness, not emotion. http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/lol.png
 I don't think that has happened to me, but I definitely stare to the extreme.  Every single micro-movement of expression is interesting to me.

 

July 27, 2017 2:22 pm  #8


Re: Had another go today

Yes, I remember you telling us that before... I'm guessing 13 was a good few years ago... 10-15 years+ ?
Clearly this is about puberty - crying in guys has a habit of falling off a cliff around this age - I remember crying about 12, and once again about 17 (funeral of grandfather) and then not for years!

​But since then you have had emotional moments - even recently you have felt emotional tears in your eyes, just not to the level where you have started to cry uncontrollably - which I'm guessing is what your after. Your curiosity is now that I am an adult male what will I cry like... tears, sobbing, bulging lip... 

​Do you have anything you think makes you more emotional than other things? You said the Charlie Gard case made your eyes fill with tears? I think you will need to find and poke away at your emotional triggers - wet eyes to crying can be quite a jump if you've not been there for a while.

With regard to non-emotional tears... do you let these tears roll unchecked? From a purely physical sense do you feel your crying? Has anyone else witnessed these non emotional tears?

I won't ask to see your recent efforts - I'll wait until you 'proper' cry with tears running down your face which I'm sure you will achieve sometime soon. ;o)
 

 

July 28, 2017 8:43 pm  #9


Re: Had another go today

The Charlie Gard case didn't bring tears to my eyes, but I was emotional enough to bring the tears, mainly by going through the motions of sobbing and trying to cry. I do let tears fall, I actually like the feeling of then rolling down my face. However, I'd probably wipe them if I knew someone was watching.

It's hard to know what the triggers are. Sometimes huge events, including personal ones will leave me unemotional, while a line from a song can have me tearing up.


Women crying is super hot  ~TorNorth
     Thread Starter
 

July 29, 2017 10:07 am  #10


Re: Had another go today

Interesting... if I was to make myself cry I don't think it would work for me by going through the motions as you tried to do by making yourself sob. For me it has to be the emotion welling up inside - sometimes I can feel it raise up side and it feels like when that feeling reaches my eyes tears start. If it was to try and make myself cry I would need to try and recreate that feeling.

​Your right... finding the right trigger is difficult, and it can change depending on how you are feeling at any given time. I think actors/actresses use personal triggers to make themselves cry it just finding the right one for you at the right time.

 

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