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March 27, 2018 4:17 am  #1


An Obs...and My Reaction

So, I sing in an a cappella group, and there is this one girl in the group who joined at the same time I did, and I've had a big dumb crush on her from the start. I never really did anything about it, though, because A: I'm pretty sure she's straight and monogamous, and B: She was in a long-term, live-in relationship, so I figured the chances she would return my affections were slim to none. Well, apparently her boyfriend left her for someone else last week (something I accurately predicted based on a conversation we had last week), and she just told the group tonight.

When she said what happened, I could already feel the blood draining from my body, but then as the group (aside from myself) gave her a group hug, and in that hug, I could hear her voice break a little, and when they all let her go, it was obvious that she had cried a bit. Her face was red, and she reached for a napkin in her bag to wipe her eyes and nose. By this point, I was getting lightheaded, started shaking profusely, and was so weak-kneed that I couldn't move. Once I regained my bearings a little bit, I went out of the room to get some water, and one of the other people in the group asked me if I was okay. I told her about my crush on this other girl, and how seeing her vulnerable like that was messing with my emotions. She noted that I was shaking, and said that I am a "very empathetic person". I was distracted that entire rehearsal--stammering more than usual any time I tried to talk, shaking and fidgeting the entire time, and generally unfocused on anything but her.

She and I walked to the bus together after rehearsal ended, and when we started talking, I remember being on the verge of tears several times myself, and I kept apologizing to her for it. She kept saying that it was okay, but I just felt so self-conscious about it. I almost blurted out my feelings for her, but I didn't. It wouldn't surprise me if she suspects it, though. I...don't know how to feel in this moment, or what to do going forward. One thing I do know, however, is that the thought of her crying, especially with this brief observation, will be something I will never forget.

 

March 28, 2018 1:50 am  #2


Re: An Obs...and My Reaction

Wow this is really cute. It sounds like she responded positively. 

Do you always get such an intense empathetic reaction with anyone that you see crying, or just the people you're attracted to?

 

March 28, 2018 5:31 am  #3


Re: An Obs...and My Reaction

Yeah, I guess she did. I still felt bad about the whole thing, though.

My crying observations are usually much less...personal than that one, so I can't really say. If it's a complete stranger, I do get fixated on them and can't look away, but the raw, visceral reaction was probably because of how close to home this one was. To add to the story, though, I was anxious all day today because of what happened, and I went over to my partner's house after work, and I vented to her and just cried and cried in her arms until I calmed down.

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March 28, 2018 2:15 pm  #4


Re: An Obs...and My Reaction

Wow, nice obs, and an excellent opportunity missed to console your crush, in my experience, girls love to have their tears wiped. Anyways, you went over to your partner´s house, are you talking about the same girl you have a crush on? What was her reaction towards you crying, did she console you verbally, wipe/kiss your tears?

 

March 28, 2018 10:19 pm  #5


Re: An Obs...and My Reaction

Yeah, I guess I missed the opportunity if there was one, but I wasn't really in my "right mind" at that moment, and was absolutely paralyzed by my own emotions at that point. Oh, well. I'm not sure I would be a good person to wipe her tears for her anyway, since I feel like that gesture requires a certain modicum of intimacy with the person crying in order to perform.

And no, my partner to whom I cried is not the same person whom I saw cry. I am polyamorous, and so I tend to develop strong romantic feelings for multiple people at once. I am not in any sort of romantic relationship with this crush, and if I were, this wouldn't be an issue. And as for the scene between me and my partner, she just held me in her arms and rubbed my back as I sobbed into her chest. I was probably shaking pretty hard, and my makeup was definitely ruined. It was for sure a several-minutes-long cry, but I felt a lot better afterward.

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