1 - azutid
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- Posts: 105
Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
As I have mentioned before, I am afraid of crying in front of other people. And by other people, I mean ANYONE: my parents, my brothers, my friends, my therapist, etc. This is a challenge for me for me because I'm female, I'm in my late teens, and we all know that being a teenager is rough.
So, my fear stems from two places: an unfortunate exchange between my third-grade teacher and me, and a "life lesson" I learned when I was really young (probably aged six or seven). I feel comfortable sharing a little about these experiences, so I will.
1) the unfortunate exchange
My school went on a ski trip to a nearby ski resort. Long story short, I was confused about where I was supposed to go as we were leaving the ski resort, so I sat down at a table at the bottom of the mountain and just cried (keep in mind, I was only eight years old). My teacher eventually found me and half dragged me to the parking lot, fuming at me the whole way down because the whole school was waiting for me. Her fuming only made me cry harder. At one point, she stopped, stooped down to get in my face, and yelled at me for crying. She continued leading me down to the parking lot. I managed to stop crying before we got there, thankfully.
2) the "life lesson"
Again, long story short, my mom has had chronic neck pain since I was born. I remember seeing her cry a few times during my childhood due to the pain. One time, I saw her sobbing in my dad's arms in the garage, and it made the wrong impression on me. I thought that my mom was being weak for crying, and my dad was being strong for comforting her. I thought for a long time that strong people don't cry.
So, yeah. Fun stuff, lol. The good news is that I've worked through a lot of this stuff in therapy, and I've allowed myself to cry in front of two people I trust, on two separate occasions! I am strangely proud of myself for that. 
Going back to the original question, does anyone else have this fear?
Still, by the clock's revolution each hour,
I dissolve into tears about ev'ry half hour.
- Amans lacrimae
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Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Yes, I have only cried in front of my wife, and at first I was reluctant to cry in front of her, that is until I knew it would be inevitable at some point. Still, I don’t like crying, at all. Responding to your question, yes, I am working myself to break free of that fear and be able to cry in front of others, I don’t mean in a public setting, I mean with close friends. I am not there yet, I still blink back tears or discreetly wipe my eyes so no tears show when tears surface.
Hope I answered your question, if anything feel free to ask.
- azutid
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- Posts: 105
Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Yes, that answered my question perfectly! Thanks for your response.
Still, by the clock's revolution each hour,
I dissolve into tears about ev'ry half hour.
- •
Thread Starter- Amans lacrimae
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Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
SparklingEyes wrote:
I'm sorry to hear about the experiences that you've had. But you're still just a teenager, so, hopefully, you'll find some trusted friends you can cry in front of.
As for me, I'm not at all comfortable letting anybody see tears in my eyes, with only a couple of exceptions - my girlfriend and my best friend. And I've emotionally cried only in front of my girlfriend. I guess the two main reasons why I'm comfortable letting them both see me in tears is because of how close we are and also because both of them are not shy to let their tears flow in front of me.
My girlfriend is comfortable crying only in front of me. In fact, she's told me that I'm the only person besides her mom to have seen her cry in more than 5 years. So, in a sense, we all have our reservations crying or even tearing up in front of people.
I agree with you, I wouldn’t cry in front of anyone who I haven’t seen cry before, in fact, the only person who has seen me cry is my wife. Speaking of crying in front of other people, I secretly, well kind of fantasize,would like my friend Stephanie to wipe my tears, I mean only fantasize because I am pretty sure I would hold back tears if about to cry in front of her, so, guess I’ll keep it as a fantasy.
Also, I know girls are less ashamed of crying in front of others than men, at least my wife does not hide her tears even in public.
Last edited by Amans lacrimae (November 19, 2018 6:17 am)
- Unicorn
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- Posts: 27
Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Yes I have! Although I only have it when it comes to crying in front of women. Maybe it sounds weird but as a woman I have always felt more comfortable being around men than women. And that includes crying.
A million dreams is all it's gonna take
- Amans lacrimae
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Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Yes I have! Although I only have it when it comes to crying in front of women. Maybe it sounds weird but as a woman I have always felt more comfortable being around men than women. And that includes crying.
Interesting, so, on the rare occasions that you cry, have you cried openly in front of a guy (I’ll assume he would e a close friend)? If so, have you ever had your tears wiped?
- Unicorn
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Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Yes I have! Although I only have it when it comes to crying in front of women. Maybe it sounds weird but as a woman I have always felt more comfortable being around men than women. And that includes crying.
Interesting, so, on the rare occasions that you cry, have you cried openly in front of a guy (I’ll assume he would e a close friend)? If so, have you ever had your tears wiped?
I have to answer both your questions with a profound yes. I have cried in front of my BF, other male friends, my brother and family. Most of them did wipe my tears, others just hugged me and let me cry on their shoulder, and others did both. I can share some of these in an obstacle if you'd like?
A million dreams is all it's gonna take
- Amans lacrimae
- Master in comforting (Moderator)
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- Registered: October 19, 2017
- Posts: 4,349
Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Yes I have! Although I only have it when it comes to crying in front of women. Maybe it sounds weird but as a woman I have always felt more comfortable being around men than women. And that includes crying.
Interesting, so, on the rare occasions that you cry, have you cried openly in front of a guy (I’ll assume he would e a close friend)? If so, have you ever had your tears wiped?
I have to answer both your questions with a profound yes. I have cried in front of my BF, other male friends, my brother and family. Most of them did wipe my tears, others just hugged me and let me cry on their shoulder, and others did both. I can share some of these in an obstacle if you'd like?
Sure, I would love to read your obs, if detailed better, did you allow your tear unchecked, how did you feel when your tears were wiped, how did you react to it, did your tears leave multiple streaks, how long did you cry, etc.
- Unicorn
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- Posts: 27
Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
Interesting, so, on the rare occasions that you cry, have you cried openly in front of a guy (I’ll assume he would e a close friend)? If so, have you ever had your tears wiped?
I have to answer both your questions with a profound yes. I have cried in front of my BF, other male friends, my brother and family. Most of them did wipe my tears, others just hugged me and let me cry on their shoulder, and others did both. I can share some of these in an obstacle if you'd like?Sure, I would love to read your obs, if detailed better, did you allow your tear unchecked, how did you feel when your tears were wiped, how did you react to it, did your tears leave multiple streaks, how long did you cry, etc.
Sure, will do. I'll post them in a new topic 
A million dreams is all it's gonna take
- Amans lacrimae
- Master in comforting (Moderator)
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- Registered: October 19, 2017
- Posts: 4,349
Re: Is anyone else terrified of crying in front of others?
I have to answer both your questions with a profound yes. I have cried in front of my BF, other male friends, my brother and family. Most of them did wipe my tears, others just hugged me and let me cry on their shoulder, and others did both. I can share some of these in an obstacle if you'd like?Sure, I would love to read your obs, if detailed better, did you allow your tear unchecked, how did you feel when your tears were wiped, how did you react to it, did your tears leave multiple streaks, how long did you cry, etc.
Sure, will do. I'll post them in a new topic
Eagerly waiting