1 - tears
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- Registered: April 28, 2012
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girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
This obs invovles a very delicate subject, was originally hesistant to post this, but thought i would after some thought...
I have been with my girlfriend Jess for 2 years now, so obviously we are very comfortable around each other..
anyway Jess's dad had been very ill for a long time, and 2 weeks ago, he passed away. She was obviously devastated, and when it happened, she phoned me crying down the phone, and clearly in a right state...I drove round to her house straight away, to comfort her. I got there, and she ran straight into my arms, and sobbed uncontrollably. i kissed her head, and just held her in my arms for a while. We went to sit down on the couch, and she stayed clinging to me desperate for me to keep hugging her which i did.
Tears were streaming down her face, she was very sniffly as you would expect, and it was making my voice choke up. I hated seeing her this way, but this was a tragic event that happened, and it was obviously understandable as to why she was so upset. I kissed her on the head and nose a few times. I grabbed a tissue from the box on the side, and wiped her face with it, drying away the tears from her face. The rest of her family were downstairs with us, but she wanted to go upstairs and be in some privacy. We went up to her room, and layed on her bed for an hour or so...i was just stroking her back and hair. It was a diffuilt situation to be in, however i needed to be with her, thick tears flowed down her face the whole time, i passed her a handful of tissues. She blew her nose with some of them, and i dried her eyes with my hands. I gave her another kiss this time on the lips. She has been spending a lot of nights with me at the moment, and i have been taking care of her, a lot.
there was once was a wise old saying...
- tearhunter
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
That's quite a post tears!
Appreciate you posting such a personal observation - it's been said many times on this forum that our passion for crying and tears must be measured against the pain and loss people feel that ultimately makes them cry.
It can be a very delicate subject, thanks for posting. I'm sure you will look after Jess and give her all the support she needs during this difficult time.
It does sound like she is very comfortable crying in front of you and allowing her tears to fall unchecked - in fact even to allow you to wipe them away for her.
Does she usually allow her tears to flow unchecked or was this crying episode different because of the intense pain she was clearly feeling due to the loss of her Dad?
People crying often changes dramatically when crying due to extreme events and can be very different to how they 'normally' cry.
PS I understand if you don't want to answer questions regarding this post - just say and I'm sure everyone hear will respect your wishes.
- tears
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
she is comfortable crying infront of me, we have been together for 2 years. She dosent get emotional much, but when she does, her tears do fall unchecked and i tend to wipe them away a lot for her, i quite like doing that. It broke me up seeing her this way, however she is staying with me tonight at my house, im sure we will just cuddle up on the sofa watching some TV, trying to take her mind off the matter, but she was crying on the phone earlier, so im sure there will be more tears later.
there was once was a wise old saying...
- •
Thread Starter- carrotcake
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
Quite an obs! I'm very sorry for what you and your girlfriend are going through. It's great, though, that she has you to comfort her and help her through this.
- tears
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
thank you carrotcake.
Last night, we ended up cuddling on the sofa most of the night watching TV, i had my arms round her most of the night, whilst i could see tears rolling down her face. I kissed her on her head, she turned round and kissed me. I looked at her face, and it broke my heart. She was clearly devastated, and that broke my heart seeing her that way. She wriggled up closer to me, with her head resting on my chest, sniffling away, with tears still rolling down her cheeks. I wiped them away with my hand, and handed her some tissues. Every so often, i kissed her on the head, and the cheek. For most of the night, she cried quietly, and allowed tears to run down her cheeks, which was understandable.
At around 11pm she was falling asleep, so we went up to my room, and we laid in bed, her head on my chest again, but she must have felt safe and comforted in my arms, which is nice to know. After a while she fell asleep, and so i got some sleep...
This morning i woke up, and she was on her side, tissue in hand, drying tears from her eyes, and sobbing quietly. I rubbed her back, and kissed her. She turned round, and gave me a cuddle, and sobbed loudly....today it really hit home, and she has been crying most of the day....i completely understand why, and i expect to continue for a while, but it really tears me up seeing her like this, i just keep giving her long cuddles and kisses, as im not sure what to say or do, i try to take her mind off of it, but this is a delicate issue, and she must be given time to grieve etc.
there was once was a wise old saying...
- •
Thread Starter- carrotcake
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
Sounds as if you're doing a great job comforting her. I feel so bad for your girlfriend; hope she starts to feel a little better soon.
- woundedpuppy
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
Yep, sounds like you're a good source of comfort for her. Thanks for sharing such a personal story.
- tearhunter
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
I think your girlfriend is doing the right thing - what I mean by that is she is crying out her emotions. She is clearly devastated and hurting a lot which is understandable. But, she is crying and allowing herself to cry with your support which I think is good. To often people bottle up these feelings and I think in the long run in does more harm than good.
Realise it's hard on you seeing her so upset but I also think you are doing the right thing by simply being there for her and allowing her to grieve openly for her loss.
- tears
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Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
cheers guys...
she is understandbly still very emotional and crying a lot, however she is slowly getting on with things....yesterday we spent the day together, i took her out for meal etc, to try take her mind off things etc....but she was welling up constantly, and it was tearing me up.....however she kept it together, until we got home, when she burst out sobbing again.
there was once was a wise old saying...
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Thread Starter- tears
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- Posts: 61
Re: girlfriend obs (delicate subject)
some time has passed since this sad thing happened, and it appeard that jess was moving on with her life, however yesterday she was having one of them rough days...
I got a text whilst i was at work at about 10 am from her saying she wasnt going to work today, i asked her if everything was ok, and she said 'no not exactly'....at 11 am i said to my boss i had to go home, as he knew our situation and he was ok with it.....i got in to find, Jess in a real state...tears were streaming down her face, tissues everywhere, and she had a real glassy look to her eyes...I sat next to her on the couch, and held her in my arms, rubbed her back and kissed her forehead...We sat like that for about 10 minutes. She looked up at me, with tears still in her eyes, and gave me a full hug, and sobbed into my chest..
it breaks my heart to see her like that, but not suprisingly she was still having some of them days, where it would hit her harder then on most days.. i went to find her some more tissue, and dried her eyes. We sat on the couch watching TV for the reaminder of the afternoon, she didnt want to leave my side, and i didnt want to leave her like this, she is a bit better today, but still quite fragile.
there was once was a wise old saying...
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Thread Starter