1 - tearhunter
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Back to school...with Crying Observations
Fairly criptic subject line!
One of the reasons I've been a bit busy lately (in addition to the usual work problem) and not posting much is that I've been taking night classes. I've been studying at introductary level how to be a Counsellor. It's something I've been interested in for a while and an oportunitry came up to take a 12 week course.
Have to say I really enjoyed it and feel it is something that I may consider taking further so that I could practice professionally as a Counsellor. Just to say at this point I did not decide to take this course on the hope that I would see people cry. For personal reasons I feel being able to help someone through problems is very important and if I have the skills and the personality to be able to help people then its something I'd like to do. Although inevitably, people do cry.
As part of our skills practice we 'counsel' other students supposedly on fairly safe subjects. But many people do talk about difficult times in their past. As our skills improved the frequency of tearful moments increased. The class consisted of 19 women and 1 guy - me!
In total about half of class cried to the point of flowing tears. And the majority of the remainer had visible tears in their eyes at some point - including me.
At the time I was very much focused on the tasks in hand - which do take quite a bit of concentration - so although I was aware of the tears and crying it did not detract me from 'counselling' the person. Very similar in a way to how I act if my wife is crying for a reason where her feelings have been hurt or she is very emotional about something important.
However, as with my wife I do sometime replay the crying episode back in my mind later. Having witness so many different women cry over a fairly short period of time the main point that struck me was the different way they react. That said most allow some tears to fall unchecked, only one covered her face completely. Some never wiped tears at all, allowing them to drip from their chins. Others would quickly flick a tear away from half way down their cheek after it had rolled freely to this point. And a couple would directly wipe tears from immediately below their eyes ensuring that they did not fall very far - interesting though they did not rub their eyes.
Most cried fairly quietly although all experienced choked emotional voices as they spoke. I only saw one woman sob with that deep breathing type crying.
TorNorth you will be please to hear that most displayed some facial movement around the mouth area. Some just a trembling lip or chin, others a distorted mouth shape and the woman that sobbed a full BLT!
As I mentioned about half the class only reached the tears in the eyes stage. But no-one seamed to hide their emotions and the wet eyes usually came with a break in their voice. So when I got a bit emotional I equally didn't hide the fact. If it had gone further I probably would have allowed myself to cry - it was that kind of environment where it seamed ok.
So appart from being interesting from a subject matter point of view it was also interesting from an observations point of view.
I was also pleased that I was able to detach my fetish so that at no point did it show and because I was so focused I rarely thought about it - which to me was an essential test to see if this was something I could do.
So, that's what's been keeping me busy lately....
- TorNorth
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
"The class consisted of 19 women and 1 guy - me!"
You must have died and went to heaven, Tearhunter :O
"others a distorted mouth shape and the woman that sobbed a full BLT!"
Creepy question, but do you have any idea of the age range and general physical attrativeness rate of the woman mentioned above?
Stories like these really do inspire me to attend support groups. I am actually thinking about attending a social anxiety group on Sunday - though my own social anxiety is getting in the way of that.
Ugly crying is pretty crying
- woundedpuppy
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
Awesome, Tearhunter. I'm really happy for you.
It would have been nice if there were more guys in your class, as I would have been curious how many of them cried!
Hope you go to that social anxiety meeting, TorNorth... would love to hear your observations!
- tearhunter
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
TorNorth wrote:
"The class consisted of 19 women and 1 guy - me!"
You must have died and went to heaven, Tearhunter :O
"others a distorted mouth shape and the woman that sobbed a full BLT!"
Creepy question, but do you have any idea of the age range and general physical attrativeness rate of the woman mentioned above?
Stories like these really do inspire me to attend support groups. I am actually thinking about attending a social anxiety group on Sunday - though my own social anxiety is getting in the way of that.
One of the women I know was 23 and she was very attractive - nice big green eyes. She cried with a trembling lip and big tear drops which splashed down her face.
The rest of the class probably ranged from about early 30's upto mid 50's. The only other woman (mid 30's I'd say) that I thought was very attractive that cried has really nice deep brown eyes that I thought looked stunning filled with tears - she only shed a single tear but it rolled slowly down her face unchecked - very nice. Not much lip trembling there though.
There was probably only one other women that I thought was very attractive but she did not cry unfortunately. A couple of ok looking women also cried - both late 30's to early 40's. Both let tears fall but both wiped them away from about mid cheek to chin level. One had a very nice emotional voice and would touch her trembling bottom lip when she became very emotional.
Out of the rest, not particular attractive in my opinion including the BLT crying one.
Wondedpuppy: It would have been very interesting to see the reaction of another guy but there was only me. I did wonder how it would work out with me being the only male but it was actually a really excellent group at the end of the day.
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Thread Starter- woundedpuppy
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
Actually, Tearhunter, as the only male in that class, I bet they're all over you, haha (secretly, in their heads, I mean). 
Not to make you feel uncomfortable or anything, as I know you're married!! But think about it. Women generally like sensitivity in a guy -- and women who would choose a career in counselling over something else are probably particularly sensitive (or particularly like sensitivity in others). They would assume the same of you for having enrolled yourself in that course. Not only that, but then they got to witness you get emotional yourself that one time. Wow, again, being the only male in the class, I just bet you stand out. Hehe, be careful out there!
- psychic_girl
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
what's a BLT ?
''I like crying. And now I not only wanna cry and show my crying to other people, I wanna just split myself down the middle and open my guts and just throw everything out!''
Woody Harrelson
- carrotcake
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
Wow, tearhunter, that's amazing! I have never been in a situation like that, where a roomful of people are getting emotional.
And good luck with your counseling endeavors! It's interesting to hear that you're able to separate the work from your fetish. I always considered being a mental health professional, because I too love helping other people (in a purely non-sexual way), but I had no idea whether I would be able to separate the fetish from the work, so I chose another profession. It's great to see that it can be done, though!
P.S. Psychic_girl, BLT originally stood for "bulgy lip thing." It's when the mouth becomes distorted during sobbing, and the chin/lip wrinkles and bulges, such as in TorNorth's avatar.
Last edited by carrotcake (March 31, 2013 2:03 pm)
- tearhunter
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
That was one of the reasons I decided to take the introductory course, I needed to know if I could separate the work from my fetish - very relieved that I can. As I said I will still recall crying events later on in my own mind and I'm fairly certain thinking about them will turn me on but it will be in my own mind and will not effect the work I do with individuals. Long way to go before I can do it for real but first steps and all that.
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Thread Starter- tearhunter
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
Actually, Tearhunter, as the only male in that class, I bet they're all over you, haha (secretly, in their heads, I mean).
Thanks Woundedpuppy, I'll be careful 
They have actually all been fantastic - really lucky to get such a good group. Almost all of the women in the class put their all into it which was probably why the tears flowed from time to time.
The lecturer very much promoted crying in a counselling environment but most definitely not from the counsellor themselves. All the tears must come from the client only. We talked about crying at one point and she mentioned all the perceived health benefits of crying and that emotional tears contain stress busting chemicals and hormones. But, she also said that allowing yourself or encouraging the client to cry openly was also benefical from a wellbeing viewpoint. By openly she meant unrestrained - sobbing if that's your thing, letting tears flow unchecked without wiping them away, allowing yourself to cry for as long as you need to - don't force yourself to stop.
All interesting stuff, for me especially the flowing unchecked tears. I have to admit that I do generally feel better after crying if I allow tears to stream down my face, drip off my chin etc without making any attempt to mop them up. But 100% sure exactly why this should be. My initial thought is because you acknowledging your tears and embracing the need to cry. You are allowing your emotions to rule you for a bit rather than the other way around.
Not sure what do you all think?...
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Thread Starter- carrotcake
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Re: Back to school...with Crying Observations
Yeah, I think it's about letting your emotions completely overtake you. You're not distracted by self-consciousness, you're just allowing everything to flow out. If you stop the crying before you're finished, you're forcibly pushing the emotion back inside. Wiping the tears is a somewhat dismissive gesture, as if you're brushing the emotion aside. It stops the natural flow of expelling the emotions, and it doesn't allow you to feel them all fully and cry them out. At least, these are the things I've noticed in myself.
Also, I agree with the lecturer: the tears definitely should come from the client/patient only. Anything else would be awkward for that person.
By the way, I don't think you should feel uncomfortable or ashamed about remembering the crying events and feeling aroused. That's just part of who we are as crying fetishists. I've come to realize that a huge benefit of this fetish is that it just gives me more of a desire to help other people, and it gives me more empathy and compassion than I might have otherwise. This is a positive thing, I think. 
EDIT: I'm not saying that you DO feel uncomfortable or ashamed. I guess that's just how I felt when I was first thinking about it for myself, but my ideas have changed in the past couple of years.
Last edited by carrotcake (April 1, 2013 4:45 pm)