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March 28, 2013 4:39 am  #1

An Old Fic

So, since I rediscovered this board, I decided to dig out some old crying fics.  I found three that aren't too bad, although reading through them, I saw some things that I clearly could have been done way better.  As a result, I'd like to actually rewrite two of the three, although the third one's pretty much where I'm going to leave it, so I thought I'd post it real quick.  I might have actually posted it on the old board (yeah, it's that old...), so if it sounds vaguely familiar, that would be why.


She filed out of the auditorium and into the school lobby to find him amongst the crowd.  About fifty other kids were wearing the same outfit as he, yet she still found him quickly, her eyes latching to his beaming face as soon as they came in contact with it. 

            “Congratulations!” she said excitedly, giving him a huge hug.

            “Thanks!” he replied, smiling at her and hugging some various friends and family members that were swarming him as well.  After a few minutes of jubilation, he turned away.  “I’m going to get out of this hot thing, now.  I’ll be back,” he said, and headed off in the direction of the cafeteria, in which he had kept all of his stuff during the graduation ceremony.  When he returned, dressed in normal clothes with a brown backpack and his robes slung over his shoulder, the crowd had thinned.  He scanned the remainder of it as he approached those that had waited for him.

            “Where’s Mom?” he asked as he slowed to a stop in front of his family.

            His father’s face became more somber momentarily.  “She…couldn’t make it,” he said. 

            Her eyes lingered about his face as it fell, and she wondered how hurt he was by this.  Just as she was about to go up to him, however, he answered her unspoken query by turning and marching abruptly from the school.  His father sighed, but didn’t follow, and some of their friends, who had been busy congratulating a few other graduating members of their circle, paused to watch him go in confusion.  It was she alone, however, that went after him.  By the time she had made it out the door, he was out of sight, but she knew where he would go.  There was a spot in the trees not too far away that she knew he had liked, and it seemed the perfect place for some quiet introspection.  Marching off to it, she soon found him sitting at the base of a tree, his stuff tossed haphazardly in the grass to the side.  He was staring into space, his face sullen, when she approached.

            “Hey,” she said, causing him to glance up at her briefly.

            “Hey,” he said, looking away again.

            She moved forward and took a seat in the grass beside him.  “You okay?” she asked, uprooting a small clump of grass and playing with it to give her something to pretend to be distracted with.  He was silent for a moment, and she waited patiently, inspecting her fistful of grass.  Finally, he spoke.

            “This was supposed to be a big day for me.  I graduated.”  He sighed.  “I’ve been with her eighteen years.  I’m grown up now, and she can’t even sober up enough to see the ceremony.  She puts alcohol in front of her own son’s graduation, and I’m supposed to believe she loves me?  Bull shit.”

            He paused, and she looked at him, love and sympathy in her eyes.  Feeling her gaze on him, he returned it, but only sorrow flooded his.

            “This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life,” he said, his voice growing thick with unshed tears, “and for a while, it was.  But now, it’s over.  She ruined it for me, and absolutely nothing could make me feel better now.” 

His eyes drifted downwards as he finished speaking, focusing on the grass which she had recently dropped.  As he did so, she moved closer to him, putting her arms loosely around him as though in the start of a hug.  Instead of pulling him closer, however, she leaned in toward him and let their lips touch.  Their first kiss was tender and emotional, and she could feel the shock of his surprised delay, then the love and sadness behind his gentle reciprocation.  When they finally pulled away, they looked into each others’ eyes, their faces only a few inches apart.  Then, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, tucking his face into her neck.  At first she was confused at his sudden action, but then she could feel his body shaking as he began to sob, and her arms tightened around him.  One of her hands strayed to his head and she ran her fingers comfortingly through his short hair.  The violent sobbing only lasted a couple of minutes, but as calmer crying took over, neither party moved to end the embrace.

“So, I’m that bad, huh?” she murmured softly to him as an attempt to cheer him up a little.

He exhaled sharply in what resembled a chuckle.  “No, no, it’s not that at all, it’s just…”  His voice trailed off, and he moved to lay his head in a more relaxed manner on her shoulder.  “So many extreme and different emotions, all at once.  I’m just so overwhelmed.”

“I understand,” she assured him, caressing his back.

“You make it okay,” he said, so softly she barely heard him.  “Thank you.”  She held him close until the sounds of his father’s calling reached their ears and they knew that they had to leave.


March 28, 2013 6:33 am  #2

Re: An Old Fic

Lovely!  I look forward to reading more of your work!

"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."

March 30, 2013 2:37 am  #3

Re: An Old Fic

I totally remember that one!  Awesome.  Thanks for reposting it... I love fics!!


March 30, 2013 3:29 am  #4

Re: An Old Fic

I remember it too, and it's great to read it again!

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"

April 1, 2013 4:43 am  #5

Re: An Old Fic

Thanks, I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.  I'm reworking another one right now!

     Thread Starter

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