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September 4, 2013 9:19 pm  #1

Stopping in to say Hi

Hi to anyone out there who may have missed me!  Life got busy -- I moved, settled into a new city, went on summer vacation, etc.  I was without home internet for a bit when I first moved and was unwilling to check the forum in any other place.  Then when I got hooked up, enough time had passed that I thought I would just take a break from it...

I have been thinking about male tears every day, so it's not like my fetish has disappeared!  However, I think I have to take a break from the forum.  I LOVE that it is here and still active... there are some really great discussions, real sharing... a common bond... I feel all warm and fuzzy to have come back here... hi everybody!!!  But I think, ultimately, I shouldn't encourage my fetish any more than it already is present in my life.  Like I said, I still think about crying every single day at some point, but I'm not sure whether the daydreaming is hurting me.  It leads me to waste a lot of time where I could be doing other, more meaningful things.  I just dream and dream about it and waste time and nothing happens.  And there's still the guilt, of course, which never really leaves... it's not that I think the fetish is wrong, it's just the feeling of how mortified people would be if they knew how I objectify them in this way... watching their real tears over and over and getting turned on by it... (actors doing it for a role is different)...

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and say I hadn't left the planet!!!  TRUST ME, I will post about any male obs that happens!!!!  I am SO glad there exists a place to do that, as the only other person I could share that with is my husband (who wouldn't be quite as appreciative of it as you folks, although depending on the circumstances, I think he could be happy for me...)

I think my next phase of crying fetish really has to be getting it out there in the real world and trying not to look at the internet and stop fantasizing in my own head.  Tearhunter has done an amazing thing by pursuing counselling professionally... a productive, meaningful pursuit where he will help people, with bonus tears on the side!  I always say I will get into theatre and never actually end up doing it.  It's really time to change that.

May a crying obs of the perfect type happen to you in the next week (as I cast my magic spell with my magic powers... haha...)  Cheers, everybody!




September 4, 2013 9:52 pm  #2

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

Hi Woundedpuppy, I wondered if you were taking a break - out of all the members on this forum you appear to struggle the most with the morals of it and the lack of a decent crying fix every so often.

I would not worry about wasting time - its always good to 'burn time' on things you like but it's more of a concern for me that you feel your daydreaming is hurting you. Do you feel it is becoming an obsession? If you witnessed more 'real' crying observations would that help or make you feel more guilty that you are secretly having a secondary motive in being with them when they are upset?

Sorry million and one questions as usual.

It's a pity most members on this forum are so many miles apart - always think it would be great to meet and help eack other indulge in their fetish in a nice safe, non-judgemental way. I would have no problem in you watching me cry and enjoying it

Don't be away too long, you are one of the founding rocks of this forum and it is greatly enhance by the many posts you have written over the years. You are hugely missed and I always look for your insightful posts.

We are always here, maybe not everyday, but we are never far away when you need us.

Take Care

PS Reason I've been away recently is because my counselling courses have restarted - a whole academic year this time - Phew!


September 4, 2013 10:09 pm  #3

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

I have missed you WP. I didn't notice your absence for a long time until it suddenly came to me that you've stopped posting. I wondered if you were gone for good. Glad to hear from you again. Do start posting obs again (male ones of course and maybe a side mention of any female ones too? ;))

Women crying is super hot  ~TorNorth

September 5, 2013 2:11 am  #4

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

Tearhunter, the main thing about me, or problem/struggle, is the wasting of time, not the moral issue (or, more accurately, the imagining of being caught, as it doesn't feel wrong unless I think of being caught and what awful thoughts THAT person would have about me).  I would never leave this group because of worrying about the morals. 

The wasting of time, on the other hand... well, when I'm online looking at videos, I guess I feel like a depressed, disatisfied person who sits around all day lusting after something they can't have (or something they can have but are doing nothing about).  It doesn't feel like LIVING.  It feels like wasting away.  If someone's fantasies give them pleasure, then great.  I've had a few of those.  But mostly I am trapped in a cycle of wishing for things I don't have -- and the WISHING (which is probably exacerbated by watching crying videos and reading crying posts) feels like a waste time.  There is only so much escapsim and fantasy you can experience before you HAVE to get back to the real life around you.  That is what is real, after all.

It's like I keep taking these drugs (the videos) that don't actually solve my problem but just make it worse.  I am masking my underlying problem with these videos.  I am numbing myself out.  My real problem is that I desperately want REAL LIFE TEARS in one-on-one intimate contexts.  Like the weepy broken-hearted guy who just got dumped.  Or the guy who is opening up about a painful past.  Or the worried guy who needs someone to be strong for him.  There are several more variations possible.  But it's almost an impossible dream to fulfill.  I think the last time something like that happened in my life was 7 years ago.  No tears spilled out of his eyes onto his cheeks or anything, but the rest (watery eyes, voice breaking, opening up) was pretty sexy.  These contexts don't just "happen" because you keep chasing someone down that you think is going to cry... they happen only if and when they are MEANT to happen.

So I think I really need to get with REALITY find something else that interests me that has some satisfying potential... something healthy, something with prospects... something that can lead somewhere... something I can actually build on (maybe somewhat loosely related to crying, I don't know).  I need more passion in my life, not more empty escapism!  It's hard because, like with a drug, it's much easier to get temporary highs and numb yourself out than actually fix your problems and change yourself.  Actually, I don't know how to fix my problem, but I do think getting involved in SOME kind of theatrical endeavor could be a good first step.  And trying not to fantasize quite as much.  Which is hard, but no one ever said getting off drugs was easy...

This is starting to sound like an anti-drug campaign... LOL!!!  Sorry, I don't mean for it to sound like that at ALL.  Go party your brains out.  It's just that my particular drug just isn't what it used to be to me.    
I wonder if this crazy rant makes sense to anybody.

Thanks for your questions, Tearhunter!  I care soooo much about all the members here, even though I don't know any of you personally.  We share a special bond because of our rare fetish.  So that's why I wanted to at least drop in and say hi!  I have no new obs to share, TorNorth, at least not that I can recall (definitely no men, probably no women or not much)........

tearhunter wrote:

It's a pity most members on this forum are so many miles apart - always think it would be great to meet and help eack other indulge in their fetish in a nice safe, non-judgemental way.

Yes, I totally agree!!!  Sure, there's Skype, but I can't handle the thought of that.  It's the in-person that I always long for.  Both to feel comfortable with the person (getting used to them) and also I couldn't bare not to be able to *hold* a friend as they cried.

You never know, maybe someday.


     Thread Starter

September 5, 2013 3:13 am  #5

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

WP, weren't you the one who said you wished you could magically appear to someone when they needed you - theyd either be able to see you or not, as the situation demanded, plus you could touch them or not, again depending on the situation.  That was the fantasy I have.

I ask because I've been considering writing some fiction where the main character has this power - I'm thinking of calling her "Solace".  Now if I could just get inspired enough to move my thoughts from my head to the screen!

"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."

September 5, 2013 5:08 pm  #6

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

I don't know, Caircair... could have been me, but not sure... what I do remember is imagining a power where you could wish for (and then witness) whoever you wanted to see cry cry, but that how and when this would happen wouldn't be in your control because it would be real and almost 'voluntary' on their part... so it could manifest as them suddenly deciding to reach out to you about a long standing issue (I think I gave the example that you would make the wish for someone to cry in front of you and almost instantly the phone would ring and guess WHO is about to pour their heart out to you!!)... or it could take as much as a few weeks... it would depend on their life and what circumstances in their life they might have to cry about... the person could be from out of town and suddenly call you out of the blue explaining that they have a conference to attend in your area in a few weeks and would you like to meet for lunch... and without knowing the details, you would basically KNOW how this lunch was going to go... imagine the anticipation of that!!!  Sometimes having some mystery and a slight delay is so worth it... as long as it finally does happen!!

I definitely think you should write your fic!!!!  DO it!!!  I don't think you'll regret it.  Writing is one of my most productive and satisfying uses of the fetish, but I'm hoping to find an even more productive way to use it that enriches my life instead of robbing me of it by causing me to "wish" too much and not live in the moment.

     Thread Starter

September 7, 2013 1:44 am  #7

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

Sorry folks... hope I didn't come across as too negative!  I should remember that this fetish (and forum) is something most people LOVE and are passionate about... and that *everybody* struggles to some extent (at least I've heard that sentiment echoed over the years).  And I didn't really answer your questions directly, Tearhunter, and you always ask such good questions that I want to make sure I answer them exactly.

tearhunter wrote:

- out of all the members on this forum you appear to struggle the most with the morals of it and the lack of a decent crying fix every so often.

I was surprised to hear you say that first part!  I'm probably the most worried about people finding out that their sad outbursts ended up on a crying fetish forum to be drooled over (or in some cases, wanked over), but I think that might just mean I'm more of a 'paranoid' person in general... not more worried about the morality of watching than the average fetishist is.  Hmm, but I guess I did word it that way, didn't I... well, oops! 

On the second point, YES, I certainly struggle with a lack of decent crying fixes, and I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about that!!

tearhunter wrote:

Do you feel it is becoming an obsession?

No, I don't feel it is becoming an obsession (at least not to any new height).

tearhunter wrote:

If you witnessed more 'real' crying observations would that help or make you feel more guilty that you are secretly having a secondary motive in being with them when they are upset?

If I witnessed more 'real' crying, YES, I feel that would help... immensely!  I had a powerful obs I shared with the forum involving a stranger having a complete breakdown (very loudly, I might add), at a funeral, and quite honestly, I felt that it calmed me down for some time afterward.  It was satisfying.  I honestly felt relief.  I had just gotten a shot of what I needed.  I think I was actually happier for a while after that!!  I wish I could remember the interval of time before I felt disatisfied again... I think it probably lasted me a few months, though...   

It has been WAY too long now, so that's why I'm agitated again.  And I need to get a life, because I really shouldn't be this agitated about something like this if I already had a full life!  It would be just one little annoying thing in my already basically great world!  So, I acknowledge my OWN responsibility in this problem and I am taking control, woooo!

Trying to end on a happy note!!!

     Thread Starter

September 7, 2013 6:02 pm  #8

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

Hi, woundedpuppy! You've been missed. I was just thinking about you a couple of days ago and wondering how you were doing. Glad to hear you've just been busy and taking a break!

I completely understand what you're saying. For me, the focus of the fetish is really the in-person experiences, and I find that when those are lacking, the online videos become depressing and unfulfilling. I haven't had an obs in a few months, and I could definitely use a real crying session (by my boyfriend or male friend). I'm with you; I'm definitely happier for a bit after an experience. The endless fantasizing gets frustrating and seems fruitless.

But anyway, we'll always be here! Glad to see you.


September 7, 2013 11:49 pm  #9

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

Thanks, Carrotcake!  And thanks for adding your own point of view... it's so nice to know I'm not alone!!

I guess I'll keep stopping by the Lounge semi-regularly in case anyone has any other off-topic interests, but I just can't participate in the other forums for a while, especially the video forum.  Maybe if we had a self-help forum or something, haha (I've almost created a self-help thread here, lol!)  Anyway, just didn't want people to think I didn't care about the forum anymore.  I do care, always did, always will... that's why I'm still here in the lounge!

     Thread Starter

September 10, 2013 2:07 am  #10

Re: Stopping in to say Hi

I'm very glad you'll still be checking the lounge, I thought I had missed you! I've been taking a break too, although mine has been more or less involuntary. Just moved into a new apartment (yes, ANOTHER one) and I'm starting on the job search again (yes, AGAIN). I'm leaving my current job because frankly, it scares me and I don't feel safe there. Bleh.
But anyway, I completely understand what you're saying about needing to get out there and live. For me, I'm lucky enough that the forum is a welcome break from the real world. We'll miss you on the other boards, but you've got to do what's best for you.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"

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