Wow.  I had no idea a forum like this existed.  It has been fascinating reading for me, in part because I come at this issue from somewhat of the other angle - that is, while I do enjoy the emotional connection and intimate moment of someone else crying or being emotionally vulnerable with me, my primary "charge" and fantasy is being in a state of such vulnerability with others who WANT such connection with me.  I'm female, by the way, and though I feel things very deeply, I'm more stereotypically male in the sense that I fight hard to hide my vulnerability and not let others in enough to see my tears or raw emotion.  I find it very terrifying, embarrassing, and vulnerable to be exposed in that way, and it doesn't happen very often, although others have tried to elicit it from me at times.

In those rare circumstances where I feel like I might be pushed over that edge with another person, or break down despite all of my efforts to control my emotions, it feels scary and so vulnerable and intimate, but also exciting in a sort of forbidden way.  Because I've always been so tightly controlled, it has been kind of a monumental experience every time I have let those defenses down with another person (and often does result in a sexual bond, as opposed to just an emotional one, though it doesn't have to).  It's one of those things where I fight off the emotional release with every ounce of my being, but a part of me craves it more than anything else - IF I think the other person really does want to be a part of it and see me that vulnerable - which I sometimes have a hard time believing.

It is sexual in some ways, though I have a hard time differentiating the sexual from the emotional.  When I cry (or worse, sob) in front of someone, I feel much more exposed and naked than I would if I only had sex with them, and there is something that feels so deliciously dangerous about it.  It's hard to describe.  Being that vulnerable even when I feel I should be fighting it off feels a lot like giving myself over in sexual intimacy, except it's somewhat more profound.  It doesn't have to result in anything sexual, but I feel sexual overtones with anyone, male or female, who I think genuinely wants to see me that emotionally "naked" and vulnerable for their own benefit, as opposed to just caring about me so being "willing" to be there when I fall apart.  Yet there is definitely something about the struggle itself, trying to fight it off, that adds to my turn-on, and if another person persists and pushes me over that edge, it feels thrilling.

I've never tried to articulate this before, and I've always thought I was very weird for feeling this way.  (That just makes me fight off emotional vulnerability and specifically letting others see me cry all the more - and makes it that much more exciting when that fantasy actually comes true.)  It is not something I have shared with others, and it almost seems that sharing it defeats the purpose.  Because if I admit that I secretly want it (even if a large part of me wants to run from it), it kind of undermines the whole struggle of fighting to keep my composure and polish. 

I'm wondering if anyone else here feels this way, or if it's really all the reverse direction.  I do feel some of the same sensations with regard to other people completely losing control of their emotions with me, but only if it's not something that happens easily or readily and if it involves some element of involuntary exposure and embarrassment, at least initially.  Does this make sense to anyone?