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January 23, 2015 6:47 am  #1


Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

I'm a girl, so I wouldn't know. But I've always wanted to hold, hug, and embrace a male while they're crying so desperately, but I wouldn't know what to expect of them of how to make the right approach. I know that most guys just want to be left alone but would you let a girl comfort you and would you enjoy it? If so, what would be the best way to do it?


"Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them."
-Veronica Roth
 

January 23, 2015 4:26 pm  #2


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

I don't like it. It makes me feel patronized, for some reason.


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

January 23, 2015 10:38 pm  #3


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

Which brings up another interesting question. Males, what would you like us to do to comfort you in this situation? Actually, this could be open to females too.

As for me, I also don't like being comforted. To me, crying is something I'm ashamed of and any acknowledgement of it only makes me feel even more ashamed. Of course, growing up I was often told "Big girls don't cry" and "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about."

Hm. Maybe that's why I'm such a crying fan - because it's something so personal and to me implies loss of control.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

January 25, 2015 2:55 am  #4


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

caircair wrote:

Which brings up another interesting question. Males, what would you like us to do to comfort you in this situation? Actually, this could be open to females too.

As for me, I also don't like being comforted. To me, crying is something I'm ashamed of and any acknowledgement of it only makes me feel even more ashamed. Of course, growing up I was often told "Big girls don't cry" and "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about."

Hm. Maybe that's why I'm such a crying fan - because it's something so personal and to me implies loss of control.

 
Yeah, I hear that's why a lot of males don't like to cry much in general, because it makes them feel less manly. Maybe that's why I love it so much when they cry, because not only are they doing something they rarely do in general, but they trust me enough to let their emotions out in front of me. But yeah, to all males, what are some ways you would want to be comforted?

As for me, it really depends. I usually desperately want to be hugged and cuddled when I'm crying, but only by males or my close female friends. If it's a family member it kind of feels like a sexual offense. Weird mentality to have, I know.


"Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them."
-Veronica Roth
     Thread Starter
 

January 26, 2015 12:20 am  #5


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

TorNorth wrote:

I don't like it. It makes me feel patronized, for some reason.

Whoa I was not expecting that. Now I'm nervous. I've hugged guys so many times when they're upset or near tears. In fact, it's my first reaction whenever someone even starts to look like they might cry. Have I made a mistake?

For me, hugs are freaking magical. If I'm crying, I want to be held tight (as long as it's someone I know well). I'm very much like Yowza in this respect.

Guys, seriously. What should we do to help you if you cry?

 

January 26, 2015 2:13 am  #6


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

Truffle it's very individualized. Some guys like it, some don't.

 

January 26, 2015 5:30 pm  #7


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

truffle wrote:

TorNorth wrote:

I don't like it. It makes me feel patronized, for some reason.

Whoa I was not expecting that. Now I'm nervous. I've hugged guys so many times when they're upset or near tears. In fact, it's my first reaction whenever someone even starts to look like they might cry. Have I made a mistake?

For me, hugs are freaking magical. If I'm crying, I want to be held tight (as long as it's someone I know well). I'm very much like Yowza in this respect.

Guys, seriously. What should we do to help you if you cry?

I wouldn't worry about it. To be honest I know very few men who are as emotionally reserved (insecure?) as myself. There would definitely be plenty of men who wouldn't mind being comforted. In fact, if I was to be comforted, it's preferable that it's a woman than another man (unless he's much older, and even then an older woman is better). Though I wonder if some men would get the wrong impression, especially if the woman is attractive (and single).

What should someone do if they catch me crying? Buggering off would be nice. Though if they decided to stand around and enjoy it, I won't say anything. So long as they don't acknowledge the fact that I'm crying.  Even when I was a kid, if I cried I'd wonder if the other kids watching me were enjoying it the way I do. I always keep this in mind.


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

March 26, 2015 5:04 pm  #8


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

I've experienced a bit of this recently.

I like to be comforted / supported by a female that I know I can trust completely and without question. Only two people currently hold this position, my wife and a close female friend. Both know just what I need without asking, when to hug me, listen to me, talk to me, cry with me etc. I'm able to be completely open with them - I'm able to cry without feeling insecure or embarrased. I rarely hold back or try to stop myself from crying when I'm upset in front of them - the tears flow checked and if I need to cry out loud, I cry out loud.

Outside of these two I much prefer to cry infront of a woman - in generally they are more understanding and accepting of tears - more so if it's a guy shedding the tears. I've cried in front of several women who fall into this category recently - it's harder to be open as you are unsure what they are thinking - it's sometime easier when it is someone you don't know well or have that much interaction with - I've cried in front of several female doctors recently and I've been able to let tears flow unchecked without too much embarrassment on my part. Doctors are not permitted to offer a hug - but one did reach forward and held my hands (my hands on my lap her hand over mine - tears actually dripped from my bowed head onto her hands!)

I'm least comfortable crying in front of family (male and female) and other males. I fact if I know them I avoid it like the plauge! However recently I've cried in front of two male professional medical staff and similar to the females of a similar status I found it suprising easy to cry openly. They however just watched.
 

 

April 1, 2015 8:21 pm  #9


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

Even when I was a kid, if I cried I'd wonder if the other kids watching me were enjoying it the way I do. I always keep this in mind.

This is why I'm afraid to tell the boyfriend about my fetish.  Even though there's a chance it could make him more comfortable opening up around me since he would know I'm so open to it, I'm afraid the idea of me enjoying his tears would freak him out and make him never open up to me like that again.  

As far as myself when I'm crying, it depends.  If my boyfriend's there and I'm not crying because we're fighting, I want him to hold me or otherwise physically comfort me, talk to me about it, etc.  Anyone else on the planet, I want them to leave me alone lol.  

 

October 20, 2017 9:58 am  #10


Re: Males, do you enjoy being comforted?

Hello Yowza, I am a male and I have never, since I can remember, cried in public. I found out I liked being comforted by my wife, who by the way is becoming an expert at it. So, answering your first question, the answer is yes, my wife is a girl, I let her comfort me, and honestly, I do enjoy being comforted. Answering your second question, the best way to do it is first, a warm hug, then wipe and/or kiss my tears. Be sure that is one of the best things that can happen to you if you are crying.

How would you feel if you were crying and a male friend wiped your tears? How would you respond if some one did, would you like it?

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (October 23, 2017 1:05 pm)

 

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