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July 11, 2015 4:48 pm  #1


A self obs

So, I visited my hometown a couple of weeks ago, and while it was nice to see family and friends, eat at my favorite restaurants, etc., it also brought on a lot of emotions about my mother's death, nostalgia for my childhood, and all of the feelings surrounding moving away (although the move was much-desired and I am incredibly happy with my life now, it was still very emotional).

Anyway, I intended to enjoy my vacation, so I tried to brush away the majority of the feelings of sadness and wistfulness while I was there. When I got home, however, it was hard to shake a sense of cloudiness. I wanted to talk it over and maybe shed some tears, but it was never quite the right time.

So one afternoon, I was home alone, and I decided to put on a movie that Netflix suggested about a woman dealing with an illness and the help that she received from a struggling college student. Although this wasn't really much like the situation I dealt with, the similarities were enough to really affect me. During many of the scenes, I felt tears pricking my eyes and burning the back of my nose and throat. There were two scenes throughout that were even more intense, and my eyes filled with large pools of tears. As I blinked, I would say that three or four of them fell down my face. I let them sit there for about five minutes before wiping them away. Some of them ran down my neck and onto my chest. I was sniffling a little bit, too, but did not have tissues.

The end of the movie (as is so often the case) was definitely the most wrenching, and at one point, tears gathered very quickly in my eyes and quickly spilled down my face. As the scene continued, I began to breathe more jaggedly, and finally I began to sob. My sobs were fairly quiet, since I was trying to watch the movie (more breathy than voiced), but they were the heaving, rapid-fire type of sobs. I would say that each sob lasted for about ten seconds before taking another breath. At one point, I put my right hand over my eyes at the most intense moment of the sob (my mouth was stil visible, however). I was definitely doing the lip curl/BLT on and off for about five minutes. I did not wipe tears away until the movie was over.

Afterward, I felt so relaxed. I definitely needed to cry, but I needed something immediate to trigger it. I must say, I wish I had seen what my face/mouth looked like. Slightly unrelated, but I wish that I could capture my sobbing on film. The problem is that if I am filming myself, I can't let go enough to cry.

Anyhow, that's what happened this week!

 

July 12, 2015 1:30 am  #2


Re: A self obs

Sounds like you're doing considerably better.  I'm glad of that.  Best thoughts ,hugs, and above all prayers.

 

July 13, 2015 9:41 pm  #3


Re: A self obs

It's been a long time since I had a good solid cry.  I'm thinking I'm gonna do the same thing.  I haven't watched the fault in our stars yet. ..

Carrot cake if you set up the camera before the movie,  by the time you get to the end you forget its there.

 

July 15, 2015 4:58 pm  #4


Re: A self obs

I actually just watched A Fault In Our Stars recently. I didn't really cry for some reason, but I know that's not the usual response! There are a couple of good crying scenes in the movie.

I'll try that with the camera. I really do want to capture a video of it...

     Thread Starter
 

July 23, 2015 9:12 pm  #5


Re: A self obs

Sounds like you had a proper good cry! I guessing you looked amazing with tears running down your face unchecked  love the fact they ran down your neck towards your chest!

If you ever manage to video yourself crying make sure to capture your tears and share it, even if only via PM!

 

July 23, 2015 9:15 pm  #6


Re: A self obs

Tearhunter, I knew you would appreciate that detail. I will definitely continue to try to get video of my tears. Perhaps I will work up the courage to share.

     Thread Starter
 

July 23, 2015 11:09 pm  #7


Re: A self obs

I'd love to know the timing of your lip curls. Do you hold it in a curled shape for only a second or two, or does it stay like that for longer?


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

July 24, 2015 5:08 pm  #8


Re: A self obs

TorNorth wrote:

I'd love to know the timing of your lip curls. Do you hold it in a curled shape for only a second or two, or does it stay like that for longer?

If I'm actually sobbing, it stays like that for the duration of the sob. When I am between between sobs, my mouth closes a little, but I think the chin is still bulged a bit.

If I'm tearing up in front of someone else (parents, significant other), there are times when I'm trying to hold back my crying, such as during an argument. Usually, there's a point at which I let it go: maybe if the person apologizes, or if something is said that tips my emotions over the edge. As soon as I decide to openly cry, my lip curls. It continues to be curled while I'm talking and during any sobs.

When I'm on the verge of crying, my chin and the corners of my mouth often twitch, which eventually progresses into a lip curl/bulge.

     Thread Starter
 

July 25, 2015 8:18 pm  #9


Re: A self obs

Carrotcake, your lips are becoming quite an enigma! You insist that you're in the "Occasional" category, but if your lip stays curled in the duration of a sobbing period, I'd personally stick you in the "Full" lip curl category. This is unless there were times when you sobbed (without talking) but your lip didn't curl. If you do film yourself and let us see it, I''ll try to solve this epic mystery.

One more question: During a full sob is it a large bulging lip curl, a thin "pulled in" curl or somewhere in the middle?
 


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

July 27, 2015 6:30 am  #10


Re: A self obs

carrotcake wrote:

I actually just watched A Fault In Our Stars recently. I didn't really cry for some reason, but I know that's not the usual response! There are a couple of good crying scenes in the movie.

I'll try that with the camera. I really do want to capture a video of it...

I saw the movie too, a while back, I had the same reaction, I thought it was sad in parts, but I didn't cry.

Thankyou for sharing your observations with us.
 

 

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