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July 31, 2017 3:40 am  #1


I Came Out! (+ 2 male obs)

So, I know I haven't been very active in a while, but in the past month I've had two separate male observations, and (drumroll, please) today, after 8+ years of dating, I finally told my boyfriend about my dacryphilia! This is a day I wasn't sure would ever come, but the world actually didn't end! So I'll start with the first obs, which happened at the beginning of the month, and then I'll move on to the story of today.

I work at a vet clinic, and one of my best male friends unfortunately had to put down one of his dogs. I was there both the day that he found out what was wrong with the dog and also the day that it actually happened. The first day, he wasn't full-on sobbing, but his eyes were very red and moist, but the second day, he did completely break down. He started out just tearing up, but after a while he put a hand over his eyes and was sobbing. After everything was over, he came up to me (still kind of crying) and said he was heading out but to text him later (this happened on a day that we had previously been planning to hang out). I reached out my arms to invite him into a hug, and it was a little awkward at first because he obviously wasn't expecting it and had started turning away as I did it, but he stopped and hugged me, and I actually did *feel* him sob against me, which is something I'm super into. Then he left.

So, on to today. My boyfriend and I were laying in bed talking this morning for a long while, and he pulled out his phone to get out a picture of something, but when he opened up his pictures, he turned his phone away really quickly and fumbled with something. Naturally, I was like, "What was that about?" and he got all weird, and eventually it came out he had accidentally saved a sexy picture on his phone and it was a fetish I didn't know he had. This elicited two reactions in me, one being curiosity about his fetish and the other being anger because he had been lying to me saying he wasn't into porn (I wasn't upset that he was embarrassed about what he liked, just that he lied to me about porn in general, especially after I'd been very open about that subject with him). We've been having a lot of issues recently with him lying to me about stuff, so that was a big deal and we focused on that for a while. I was crying a lot during this conversation (free-flowing tears that I wasn't really bothering to wipe or hide, to anyone who's interested in that side of things) but he was being a lot better than he has been in the past about openly talking to me about his motivations and the fact that it is a problem he knows he needs to change, so I calmed down for a good part of it, as well, and during one of the parts where I wasn't really crying, he started to (kind of). I'd been pointing out that he was basically gambling our entire relationship every time he lied to me, and his eyes got really red and moist and his voice got really teary (if that makes sense) and he basically told me that I was one of the only things he had in life and he lies sometimes because he's never had anyone he could actually trust before. My heart melted instantly and I reached out an arm and said, "Come here." He'd been lying on his back propped against his pillows, and he scooted over then so that we were lying together with my arm around his shoulders. I took his hand in my other hand and rested our heads together. He kept talking like this a little more and I kissed his temple and held him for a few minutes. I didn't see any tears fall at any point, but this isn't super unusual with him.

The conversation ended super well. We're about to be long distance for a little while, but we agreed that we'd start couples' therapy when we're back together again. So once that was all settled, we came back to the topic of his fetish. He agreed to tell me, but he was obviously really struggling and kept trying to procrastinate by changing the subject or awkwardly looking at me and saying nothing. Finally, I decided that it wasn't fair to put him under the spotlight and not reciprocate, so I decided (before I could think too much about it) to tell him that I also had a secret fetish, that I understood exactly how hard this was for him and he could take all the time he needed, but if he was able to tell me his, I would tell him mine. He agreed, and I think it did help a bit. We worked up to it for a little while longer, but eventually he told me his and it was my turn. I started getting super nervous because I had literally just been comforting him and I was afraid it would get weird, but when I finally said it, he was just like, "Oh. Okay." He seemed to understand pretty quickly that, while there is somewhat of a sexual component to it for me, it didn't mean I was getting off on him crying or anything like that. Then, he asked if that was why I love cuddling so much (he kind of smiled when he asked, so it didn't seem like it was ruining cuddling for him or anything) and I said not entirely, but that I do think it's the reason I like being the big spoon a lot of the time and that it's also part of why I get frustrated when he's afraid of opening up to me. Then we kind of just thanked each other for being so accepting and that was the end of it. 

Also, I didn't consider the connection at the time, but a few hours later, we were lying on the floor watching TV and he pressed up close to me and rolled over, which is what he does when he wants me to be big spoon. At the time I thought it was a little weird that he wanted to lay on his side to watch TV, but now I'm wondering if maybe that's a sign he's interested in letting me do more comforting things with him. I guess we'll see! I'm just glad he was understanding and didn't get weirded out. It went way better than I would have imagined.

 

July 31, 2017 2:00 pm  #2


Re: I Came Out! (+ 2 male obs)

Congrats. It's wonderful to have a partner who understands.


"Bless me now with your fierce tears..."
 

July 31, 2017 3:56 pm  #3


Re: I Came Out! (+ 2 male obs)

My boyfriend and I were laying in bed talking this morning for a long while, and he pulled out his phone to get out a picture of something, but when he opened up his pictures, he turned his phone away really quickly and fumbled with something. Naturally, I was like, "What was that about?" and he got all weird, and eventually it came out he had accidentally saved a sexy picture on his phone and it was a fetish I didn't know he had.

LOL, that's me and my wife in a nutshell. I tend to be secretive about what I do on the phone and on the computer. For example, if I'm typing this on my phone, and if my wife was here I'd try to not let her see the screen, and it would be obvious. My wife often jokingly threatens that one day she's going to open everything up and see what I've been doing. She thinks I watch porn, which is very true, what she doesn't know is that it's far from vanilla.

My wife also once told me that according to some article online, I show nearly every sign of being unfaithful -____-'


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

August 2, 2017 3:21 am  #4


Re: I Came Out! (+ 2 male obs)

Congratulations, punkchick!  I think it's beautiful when two people share their secret fetishes with each other. 

 

Last edited by woundedpuppy (August 2, 2017 3:21 am)

 

August 2, 2017 7:05 am  #5


Re: I Came Out! (+ 2 male obs)

Congratulations, I hope you can work it out between you two. Knowing of each others fetish is a good start!

 

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