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March 8, 2018 1:11 am  #1


Crying in public (H and me)

Neither my husband nor I has done a lot of crying in public. I try to avoid it, that's for sure. But I thought I'd post the one public crying obs for each of us in the time we've been together.

ME: Mine was Monday, actually. I'd just found out something crappy and was overwhelmed. I met with H at lunch, and we were talking a bit, but mostly we were silent, and I was upset. As we walked around outside trying to decide where to eat, there were tears in my eyes, which were threatening to fall. Part of the reason I wasn't saying much was that I didn't want to start crying in the middle of the crowd. But eventually, we chose a building with a cafe in the lobby. We couldn't find a table in a corner or anywhere secluded, so we were sitting very close to (and facing) other people. As we talked, I started to cry a bit. A few tears fell down my face, and I tried to wipe them quickly. I was sniffling, too. I could see out of the corner of my eye that a woman kept glancing past her friend at me, so I assume she noticed my tears. I bet the folks at the other adjacent table noticed, too, but I didn't look over at them.

When my voice got shaky and a bunch of tears started falling, I stood up and motioned for him to leave with me. We went back to his office, and he apologized for something that had upset me. He put his arms around me, and finally I let myself cry. The one problem was that our colleague was in his office next door, and the walls are sort of thin - you can hear his every move from my H's office. So I was trying to be super quiet. My mouth/lip was contorted, tears were streaming down my face, and I was letting out slow, shaky breaths and just trying not to start sobbing. My stomach was heaving against his, but I managed to mostly stay silent, except for one or two more vocalized exhalations. I cried for about a minute, and then tears kept falling as we talked for another minute. I had to leave for a meeting, so I wiped my face carefully and headed downstairs.

MY HUSBAND: This was about a year ago, actually. I don't think I posted about it, though. Forgive me if I did. We were in a coffee shop, and he had been incredibly overwhelmed for a couple of weeks. We were talking, and his eyes slowly filled with tears. He kept talking, and he had his face propped up on his hand so that his hand was hiding most of his face from the room. His lips trembled quite a bit, and a few tears fell. He took intermittent shaky breaths, and I could tell that if we'd been alone, he would have broken down in sobs. I held his hands across the table and spoke comfortingly, but I didn't want to get up and make a show of his crying in the middle of the coffee shop. This went on for about two minutes. Oddly enough, once the caffeine set in, we did some weirdly productive and efficient work on a project.

 

March 8, 2018 2:47 pm  #2


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

Wow Carrotcake, these are amazing obs. In your obs, you were clearly uncomfortable crying in front of strangers, when tears started falling, did your H change his behavior, did he try to cover you, did he wipe your tears?

On your H obs, he was definitely hiding his tears with his hand, when you held his hands across the table you removed his protection so, I assume his tears started to fall unchecked. Did he put resistance when you removed his hand from his face, did you wipe his tears so nobody else could see them?

 

March 8, 2018 4:33 pm  #3


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Wow Carrotcake, these are amazing obs. In your obs, you were clearly uncomfortable crying in front of strangers, when tears started falling, did your H change his behavior, did he try to cover you, did he wipe your tears?

On your H obs, he was definitely hiding his tears with his hand, when you held his hands across the table you removed his protection so, I assume his tears started to fall unchecked. Did he put resistance when you removed his hand from his face, did you wipe his tears so nobody else could see them?

I was definitely uncomfortable crying in public, but it just sort of happened. I wanted to get out of there, but didn't know where to go with my H that wasn't a public place or wouldn't involve seeing people I know. He didn't really change his behavior, but he was sitting close to me and talking the whole time. I wiped any tears very quickly.

In my H obs, now that I think about it, I was just holding one of his hands. I also had my other hand on the arm that was propping up his head/covering the side of his face. He also doesn't produce that many tears, so it was just one or two that he wiped away fairly quickly.
 

     Thread Starter
 

March 8, 2018 8:37 pm  #4


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

I can tell what me and my wife's reaction would be if we were in that cafe. My wife will probably notice you first. She'll say, "aww that lady's crying." I'll quickly turn to look and she'll get really annoyed.

Although she knows my secret now, so maybe that will change her reaction to me looking - though probably not.


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

March 9, 2018 12:34 am  #5


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

TorNorth wrote:

I can tell what me and my wife's reaction would be if we were in that cafe. My wife will probably notice you first. She'll say, "aww that lady's crying." I'll quickly turn to look and she'll get really annoyed.

Although she knows my secret now, so maybe that will change her reaction to me looking - though probably not.

Ah, you've told her? If you don't mind my asking, how did she take it? No need to answer if you don't want to. I remember you'd been hesitant to tell her.

The woman who noticed me was definitely trying not to look, but her natural curiosity was piqued and she glanced several times. It's interesting how most people will look if they see someone crying -- even people who are not like us.

     Thread Starter
 

March 9, 2018 11:59 am  #6


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

These are indeed amazing obs'. It's really wonderful to read how comfortable your H must feel around you in order to be able to cry in front of you and vice versa.

Your obs'are definitely some of my favorites on this forum!


A million dreams is all it's gonna take
 

March 10, 2018 6:00 pm  #7


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

carrotcake wrote:

TorNorth wrote:

I can tell what me and my wife's reaction would be if we were in that cafe. My wife will probably notice you first. She'll say, "aww that lady's crying." I'll quickly turn to look and she'll get really annoyed.

Although she knows my secret now, so maybe that will change her reaction to me looking - though probably not.

Ah, you've told her? If you don't mind my asking, how did she take it? No need to answer if you don't want to. I remember you'd been hesitant to tell her.

The woman who noticed me was definitely trying not to look, but her natural curiosity was piqued and she glanced several times. It's interesting how most people will look if they see someone crying -- even people who are not like us.

For a while now my wife has suspected that I had unusual appetities. This is mainly due to the fact that I've recently had some trouble getting properly aroused during sex. I sort of told her before that it's little bit of a "50 Shades of Grey" type thing, but not quite. When I finally told her she was quiet for a second, and then said "what, you're turned on by women crying?"

I said yes, and she then said she had expected to hear a lot worse. She asked if I liked torture, and I said I only like to see women cry, which may include torture scenes in BDSM movies. She's been pretty bemused about the whole thing. She didn't have much to say about the subject because I guess she didn't know what to say. We don't speak about it all that much, but my wife will surprise me with it from time to time.

Last week I was lying in bed watching youtube and not really talking much with my wife. After a while she said, "haven't you got anything better to do than watch people cry?" I was all "what that's not what I'm doing" - but of course she was 100% correct.
 


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

March 17, 2018 9:14 pm  #8


Re: Crying in public (H and me)

I'm a rarely-to-never cry person myself. And certainly NEVER in public. And I only enjoy crying under very specific circumstances.  Like, seeing my relatives cry actually makes me very uncomfortable. SOOO- I have an elderly relative at death's door. I will have to be at the funeral. I'm less concerned that I'll actually break down but I'm quite concerned about being uncomfortable and someone noticing I'm not crying and judging me for it, thinking I'm heartless or something.

 

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