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May 4, 2018 5:21 pm  #1


I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

My biggest turn on is being so embarrassed that I start crying. For a while moments like that were rare for me, but that all changed when I started high school. I got into a private school that was very far from where I lived, but my Aunt Emily had an apartment nearby and she was more than willing to have me live with her during the school year.

One thing you have to understand about Aunt Emily is that she is the textbook definition of strict and old fashioned. As soon as I moved in with her right before I started my freshman year, I realized that I would basically have no freedom. She told me I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends outside of school, that I wasn’t allowed to dress “sexy” like the other teenagers, and that I wasn’t allowed to leave the apartment by myself. This meant that Aunt Emily would walk me to and from school, which I wasn’t exactly thrilled about. Even when we were home, Aunt Emily would only let me work on my homework and then we would do chores and run errands together. As much as I hated this strict lifestyle, I have to admit that when it came to my academics, I was doing great.

Soon, I learned about another thing that Aunt Emily was really strict about, which is dressing warm when it’s cold out. When it came to dressing me warm, she took it to the extremes. One morning in late September while we were getting ready for school Aunt Emily handed me a pair of winter boots and a winter coat. “It’s getting cold outside and I don’t want you getting sick,” she explained. Of course it really wasn’t that cold outside, but still I put on the heavy winter boots and the knee length down coat. That was the first time that I started tearing up from being embarrassed. As we walked near the school I saw all my classmates wearing summer shirts and shoes, I started getting really self conscious about being so bundled up. When we came to the entrance Aunt Emily said, “I want you to have your coat on and zipped up all the way when you come out here after class, is that understood?” I replied “Yes,” through my sobs.

 

May 5, 2018 5:36 pm  #2


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

DacryphiliacMan wrote:

Do you recall if any of these tears dripped on your clothes or on the floor?

 
The tears rolled down my cheeks on to the collar of my winter coat.

     Thread Starter
 

May 6, 2018 3:52 am  #3


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

What gave you the biggest spark? Was it being embarrassed or the tears on your face. I've wanted to do something for the fiction page about someone being aroused by their own tears and need to do some research


Security will run you down hard
And I will lead them on a merry chase
 

May 6, 2018 12:20 pm  #4


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

reptongeek wrote:

What gave you the biggest spark? Was it being embarrassed or the tears on your face. I've wanted to do something for the fiction page about someone being aroused by their own tears and need to do some research

For me it’s the feeling of being so humiliated in public that I have to cry. I care a lot about my appearance, so having to dress like that was super embarrassing.

     Thread Starter
 

May 7, 2018 1:23 pm  #5


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

Welcome to the forum Annalise, so, if I understood correctly, tears are just a consequence of embarrassment, what affects you is being embarrassed, but are not embarrassed for crying in public, I mean, you don’t mind people seeing tears fall unchecked down your cheeks.

 

May 8, 2018 9:23 pm  #6


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Welcome to the forum Annalise, so, if I understood correctly, tears are just a consequence of embarrassment, what affects you is being embarrassed, but are not embarrassed for crying in public, I mean, you don’t mind people seeing tears fall unchecked down your cheeks.

 
No, I am also embarrassed to cry in public, although i enjoy it.

     Thread Starter
 

May 9, 2018 11:01 am  #7


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

Welcome to the forum!  It's refreshing to read about someone else aroused by their own tears.  I have been aroused by my tears for years although when I was a kid, I hated crying.  I got more pleasure out of seeing other people cry.  But later, when I learned to allow my own tears(I was shamed as a kid for crying...) and embrace them, I began making video diaries where I'd allow myself to go places with tears I'd never go in public.  The first person I allowed to see me really cry was my former husband when we were first together. He was pretty good about it, well he wasn't always very demonstrative but he never judged, nor got "alarmed" by my tears.  It's a turn on for me to cry in front of someone who allows me that space to just cry.  

That must have been awful, wearing boots and a winter coat in September, but it sounds like you survived that well.  I have seen instances where people cry when they're embarrassed, and people around them are very sympathetic and compassionate.  Did that happen for you?   That is so comforting and freeing, and it totally takes away the embarrassment...at least it did for me whenever I've cried when embarrassed.  


"People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long." --Johnny Depp
"Cry to me...let it come, let it bleed...reach in and get it, and set it free." --Heart
 

May 9, 2018 10:09 pm  #8


Re: I love crying when I’m embarrassed (part 1)

La Llorona wrote:

Welcome to the forum!  It's refreshing to read about someone else aroused by their own tears.  I have been aroused by my tears for years although when I was a kid, I hated crying.  I got more pleasure out of seeing other people cry.  But later, when I learned to allow my own tears(I was shamed as a kid for crying...) and embrace them, I began making video diaries where I'd allow myself to go places with tears I'd never go in public.  The first person I allowed to see me really cry was my former husband when we were first together. He was pretty good about it, well he wasn't always very demonstrative but he never judged, nor got "alarmed" by my tears.  It's a turn on for me to cry in front of someone who allows me that space to just cry.  

That must have been awful, wearing boots and a winter coat in September, but it sounds like you survived that well.  I have seen instances where people cry when they're embarrassed, and people around them are very sympathetic and compassionate.  Did that happen for you?   That is so comforting and freeing, and it totally takes away the embarrassment...at least it did for me whenever I've cried when embarrassed.  

For me I think it’s a mix of the crying and the embarrassment.  And trust me, the boots and coat are nothing compared to what my aunt made me wear when it actually got cold outside. Considering that this high school, crying doesnt get me a lot of empathy.

     Thread Starter
 

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