Hi everyone. Long story short, I've been away for a while because I've had some major life changes. My wife and I had a baby through IVF and a known sperm donor, and I was carrying our baby and gave birth to her. I've been crying some, but not posting about it because I was just not in the mood at the time. I'm recovered, baby is doing well, I'm back to work part time, and I think I'm ready to start posting obs again. I wanted to post these now before I forgot any details

For the first time in my life, I've started going to a therapist. It has been a completely awesome, supportive experience. We clicked immediately on my first visit, and over the next couple months I talked about pretty much all of the things that had caused me stress my whole life. On my fourth visit, I brought up the topic of my nephew's illness, my fears and apprehension about our baby and how this would affect my relationship with my wife. About ten minutes into the visit my eyes were full of tears and I had a wobbly voice. She was listening very intently, kept eye contact, didn't offer me any tissues initially even though I was sniffling and wiping my nose with my hand. She was mirroring my posture, smiling when I was smiling, just encouraging me to talk. It took longer than usual, but eventually I felt a tear run down both my cheeks, and she then reached for the tissue box and offered it to me, and I grabbed a few. For about twenty seconds I couldn't speak, I turned my head to the side, closed my eyes and sobbed while wiping tears from my cheeks and wiping my nose with the tissues. Before I looked away, she had been looking at me calmly. Once I had stopped sobbing, I looked back at her while reaching for another tissue, and I saw that she had tears in her eyes. I made a gesture of apology, but she smiled and waved it away as a tear rolled down her right cheek. She pulled a tissue and gently swept away the tear and wiped her nose, and she then apologized to me for crying and told me to continue. I told her another story from the previous week while still crying, this time without wiping my tears (they were falling too fast) but still occasionally wiping my nose. During this time, a tear started to peek out from the inner corner of her left eye. She very slowly raised her tissue to dab it away, but while she was pressing the tissue to her left eye, another big tear rolled all the way down her right cheek. She left that tear hanging at her chin while I finished talking. I should mention she's about 6-7 years older than me, blue eyes, long blonde hair, small upturned nose and small lips, very beautiful in my opinion. Total crying time for me was about 10 minutes. I eventually calmed down, blew my nose, patted my cheeks dry. Afterward she commented that she was surprised that this was the first time I had cried in front of her, as she thought I had been talking about far more stressful things without crying. She then said that she had tried to hold her own emotions back but had been unsuccessful, and that she would try her best not to do it again, but that she could not promise this. She said that if I was uncomfortable with her temperament, she could refer me to another therapist. I wish I could have told her that I wanted her to cry every time we talked. I was massively turned on when I got home, and unfortunately my wife was very tired, so I had to alleviate this sexual tension on my own, if you know what I mean. Oh my god what a day.