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August 22, 2011 4:45 am  #1


Weekend Observation

So, I'm relaxing after a weekend away with friends and the boyfriend, so I thought I'd sneak on here real quick and share an observation I got last night.

Two of my friends were outside by the dying fire talking about something that had happened earlier that night while everyone else was inside.  One of them came in and called for me, so I came out and found that the other was sitting on the edge of the blanket, staring out into space and crying.  They asked me to tell her the unbiased truth about something that they were talking about (which was admittedly a cheerful truth, in light of the situation), so I sat down beside her and told her the truth as I knew it.  We talked for a minute or two about it and then she said, "I'm cold," (which was a big deal because she's the kind of person that's always warm no matter what the weather, except for when she's really upset).  I said, "Come here," and put my arm around her and we sat together and talked for a few minutes longer until she calmed down.  It was pretty awesome, too, because she's the kind of person that hates to be seen crying, so it was almost like having an ob with a guy.

 

August 22, 2011 5:44 am  #2


Re: Weekend Observation

Actually, now that I think about it, there's another "observation" that I could post from the past couple of days.  I didn't really enjoy it, but

For the past week or so, my cat has been sick and hardly eating, so a couple of days before we went on the trip, I took him to the vets with my dad and his girlfriend.  As it turned out, his kidneys are failing.  This is a cat that I've had since I was three, so as you can imagine, I was pretty broken up about it.  I broke down in the examining room while the vet was finishing up his conversation with my dad, and my dad's girlfriend came over and held me for a minute so that I could get myself together a bit.  Before we left (we were leaving him there for a procedure that would last a few days) we visited him in his cage and I started crying again.  While I was petting him and crying, I noticed that a long string of snot was hanging from my nose.  I'm pretty sure I caught it right away, and I wiped it away quickly so no one could see it (I felt really disgusting).  I cried quietly for a bit on the way home, but I managed to get control of myself before we got there, though I really needed to talk to my boyfriend, so when we got home I went off on my own and called him.  It was a bit flustering for him, I think, because he's not much of a pet person, so I don't think he quite understood the intensity of what I was feeling when I first told him what was bothering me, plus that's not the kind of thing that you can really comfort verbally (I sort of called him just to hear his voice, if you know what I mean) so he didn't really know much to say to help.  After a couple of minutes, I got off the phone and started playing a game to distract myself.  After an hour or two, I found myself too exhausted to focus my eyes on the game properly, so I went to bed, but I started thinking about it again and found myself sobbing pretty intensely.  It was to the point where I actually heard myself whimper once or twice, and my head felt like it was going to explode.  Finally, I did something my mom used to do for me when I was little and wet a washcloth with cold water and put it over my forehead and eyes and sat there for a few minutes like that, just taking deep breaths, until I was calmed down enough to go back to bed and go to sleep. 

Even though I enjoyed the first of these two observations much more (obviously), I think in retrospect the one about myself is more fascinating as far as topics of conversation on here are concerned.   

First of all, I was just participating in a conversation about turnoffs (including snot) in a different thread, and I stated then that snot was a definite turn-off.  However, experiencing it firsthand and thinking back on it, I probably wouldn't be turned off by it if say my boyfriend did it (although other people, maybe not as much).  The reason for this is that, for an extreme amount of snot to occur, you have to be crying fairly hard and emotionally, and I'm all about the harsh/emotional crying.  Also, when I felt embarrassed to have the snot when I was in a situation in which crying was probably fairly typical, I can just imagine how a guy who is already self-conscious about crying would feel.  It might even make him withdraw a little bit (hiding his face or what have you), which would allow the always-adorable self-consciousness to continue a little after the guy loses control.   Do these thoughts change anyone else's opinions on snot?

Also, I find that tear-stopping techniques like I described using on myself have never really been mentioned here, nor have I ever thought of using one on someone else until the other night when I used one on myself.  I suppose the idea of prematurely stopping crying doesn't really seem like our style, but after a bit of thinking, I realized that I actually would want to do this in the right circumstances.  It would be unfavorable if someone was to confide in you randomly, but I think it could actually be really sweet if your significant other was going through something especially hard and couldn't stop crying one night.  Imagine leading the hysterical boyfriend to the bathroom, giving him the cloth, and sitting with him, rubbing his back as you tell him to take deep breaths, then finally leading the emotionally drained boy back to bed and holding him while he fell asleep.  What do you guys think?

     Thread Starter
 

August 22, 2011 8:36 pm  #3


Re: Weekend Observation

When it comes to snot, I'm all for it! And this is because of the reason you mentioned above. For snot to start running, you have to be crying pretty hard. I love that. There is a movie called "Dead Ringers", where Jeremy Irons (oh, I love crying, stoic, brittish handsome men), has a complete breakdown after finding out his girlfriend is cheating on him. He comes to talk to his twin brother, and has a very realistic, quite long, snotty and wonderful crying scene. It is one of my all time favourites, and also one of the first scenes I can remember from any movie from my childhood ( this movie is from the 80's). Last year I managed to download the movie, and when I saw the scene again it was just as good as I had remembered it! One of the reasons I liked it so much is that he cries so heavily that snot and tears are mixing and dripping off his face. It's stunning!
When It comes to the cry-stopping technique it sounds good, but I wish for quite the opposite! I wish there was a secret technique I could use to make men cry in front of me instead of stopping. 

Last edited by Suckerformanlytears (August 22, 2011 8:37 pm)


Tears are words the heart can't express...
-unknown-
 

August 22, 2011 9:58 pm  #4


Re: Weekend Observation

punkchick, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I lost my very elderly dog this winter, and it's really the worst feeling in the world. My boyfriend is allergic to pretty much every animal, which doesn't make him much of an animal person either. He doesn't know how to comfort me when I'm crying over a pet, which only makes me feel worse. Usually he's the magic fix for me, and when he doesn't know what to say....it's awful.

As for helping someone stop crying, that all ties into the comforting aspect for me. I posted about this on the old board, but one time in particular really stands out for me, not so much for stopping crying, but for the "aftercare". My bf and I were in my room, and he was upset because I was going to be leaving the state soon. My room isn't soundproof, and he was trying not to cry. He said to me, "I don't want to cry here." So I led him one room deeper into the house, where we wouldn't be disturbed. He started crying, hard, almost immediately. He cried for a while, his eyes were red and his face was wet. He didn't want to leave the room and let my parents see his face. I told him, "Don't rub your eyes, that will make it worse," and "If you wash your face in cold water, it will help the redness," to which he said (I love this), "Really? Will that help?"
One of my favorite memories.


It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
 

August 23, 2011 1:45 am  #5


Re: Weekend Observation

I'm so sorry about your cat. That's heartbreaking.

I do think it's adorable when a guy cries so hard that he produces snot. As I said in the other thread, I'm much more interested in the snot when it's in person, as opposed to on a video. There's something really hot about a guy having to stop to blow his nose mid-crying session.

Also, the scenario you described about leading the sobbing boyfriend to the bathroom, helping him calm down, and leading him back to go to sleep was amazing. The vulnerability of it is what gets me. He's so overcome with emotion that he needs me to take care of him completely.

Meantangerine, as usual, I LOVE your observation about your boyfriend.

 

August 23, 2011 3:44 am  #6


Re: Weekend Observation

Punkchick: Feeling very insensitive right now...forgot to write that I am also sorry about your cat! I am "pet person", and can totally relate to your sorrow.
Meantangerine: I love the boyfriend observation! So hot and sweet


Tears are words the heart can't express...
-unknown-
 

August 24, 2011 2:53 am  #7


Re: Weekend Observation

Well, I still maintain that I don't want to see snot on a guy's face.  However, I agree that if the guy was embarrassed and tried to hide his face or wiped it off right away but acted embarrassed about it, it would be kinda cute.  I still don't feel the need to actually see it, though.  I mean, I think I'd rather just know it happened without having to view the evidence.  You know, to hear something like an embarrassed groan followed by, "I'm such a mess... do you have a tissue??"  OMG, that would be so hot!  And I think I would die if it were said in a congested voice with a lot of sniffling, like, "I'b sorry, I'b such a bess..."  Sounds so vulnerable!  Anyway, I know that when it comes to crying, snot comes with the territory, so I'm not gonna freak out and ruin the flow of things (pun intended) if it happens, but I really can't stand to see it just hang there, and if they don't notice it or don't care about it, I find it off-putting.  Noseblowing is probably OK with me, maybe even cute in the right context, but honestly, I don't think I've even seen any male crying clips that contain noseblowing, so I don't really know what I think of it.  If someone could post one or two, that would be interesting... anyone got a clip?

***EDIT: Omg, I just saw the Kleenex commercial posted in the crying video section, and that sort of nose wiping is so hot that I was immediately turned on... wow, I did not see that coming at all!  I'm still not sure how I feel about full-out honking noseblowing... guess I'll have to view a clip like that to find out!   Anyway, now back to the original post... ***

Oh, but I would positively melt if I was needed because I happened to have a tissue in my pocket and there was nothing else around for him to blow his nose in.  Goes with my whole he-needs-me kink... like, genuinely needing me (not whiny neediness, which is different...)

And speaking of being needed... I do like the idea of the wet facecloth on the forehead and trying to calm somebody down with deep breaths thing, Punkchick.  Very much!!!  Any scene where a guy would basically be submitting to me in some way (particularly if he were lying down on a bed or couch) and I would be tending to him, nurturing him... that would be super hot to me... I fantasize about it ALL the time.  But yes, it would have to be someone who was crying too much already (if there is such a thing as too much, lol).  In my fantasies, the guys do stop crying for a bit when I help them to stop, and it's a very sweet and tender moment between us, BUT they still remain on the edge... sort of ready to tip back over in a millisecond if they don't watch it... so it's never really over.  I love that continuously fragile state.  Wonder if I could ever get tired of it.  It seems so beautiful...

Well, holding an emotionally drained boyfriend until he fell asleep does sound pretty sexy.  I guess they all have to fall asleep sometime.

Last edited by woundedpuppy (August 24, 2011 3:31 am)

 

August 24, 2011 4:00 pm  #8


Re: Weekend Observation

woundedpuppy wrote:

"I'b sorry, I'b such a bess..."

Lol. My boyfriend is big on the Kleenex, he usually ends up saying, "I need a tissue." And usually we're inside and I can get one for him, but on a couple occasions we've been outside when he's crying and all I have to give him is an old receipt from my wallet.....he's a good sport, though.

Ok, can somebody clarify something for me? At least a few of you guys are sneeze fetishists, right? So what's with the aversion to snot? I mean, I understand that there's a difference between sneezing and noseblowing, but seriously? I'm confounded.


It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
 

August 24, 2011 8:01 pm  #9


Re: Weekend Observation

meantangerine wrote:

woundedpuppy wrote:

"I'b sorry, I'b such a bess..."

Ok, can somebody clarify something for me? At least a few of you guys are sneeze fetishists, right? So what's with the aversion to snot? I mean, I understand that there's a difference between sneezing and noseblowing, but seriously? I'm confounded.

I dunno, honestly. I'm a sneeze fetishist and thus have basically no aversion to snot. I wouldn't wish for it exactly, but I do think it adds to the vulnerability of things. I will say though, lots of sneeze fetishists are germaphobes (which I know is strange to understand, for me too), so that might  has something to do with it.

meantangerine wrote:

woundedpuppy wrote:

"I'b sorry, I'b such a bess..."

Lol. My boyfriend is big on the Kleenex, he usually ends up saying, "I need a tissue." And usually we're inside and I can get one for him, but on a couple occasions we've been outside when he's crying and all I have to give him is an old receipt from my wallet.....he's a good sport, though.

And aww, wait, that's so incredibly adorable! :D I have to say, I read this scene in a book where the guy offers the girl his sleeve after she's been crying and, though I wish it'd been the other way around, I always found that really, really adorable.

 

August 25, 2011 1:46 am  #10


Re: Weekend Observation

Well, in the sneeze forum, noseblowing and snot-focused posts don't belong in the main (General) section of the forum.  They belong in the "Related Fetishes" section.  I assume the owners gave it this distinction because the majority of sneeze fetishists tend to be turned on primarily by the act of sneezing itself -- like the build-up and release (a sneeze is almost like a mini-orgasm, when you think about it).  A lot of people like the "pre-sneeze" expression as well (you know, where the mouth hangs open and the lips curl under and the head tilts back).  At most, I've seen people in the General section refer to enjoying light misty sprays (which would mainly consist of saliva, I would think) or enjoying the sounds of sniffling, but again, those who like to focus on noseblowing or snot (specifically) post in the "Related Fetishes" section... which happens to be a much less busy section of the forum, implying that it is a rarer fetish (unless there is a bigger group out there for it, which there very well may well be... I have no idea).  I don't know if I can explain why.  But I would say that most sneeze fetishists are probably not really snot-HATERS... maybe just sort of "average" about it?  I mean, the words "snot" and "gross" kind of go together... it's sort of enforced in our society growing up, like through cartoons, etc. (then again, sneezing was supposed to be kind of "gross" too, but I never thought that for a second!!) ;)  I remember kids chasing after each other with boogies and screaming.  You did NOT want to find a boogie under your desk.  As an adult, I think I react pretty much like the average person (non-sneeze fetishist) at the sight of snot, so I don't feel like I have an aversion that's particularly noteworthy, although I definitely wouldn't want to touch someone else's snot if they had a cold, as I don't like getting sick, but I think the average person out there, germaphobe or otherwise, probably doesn't want be touching the snot of a person with a cold either.  And I think the average person would probably agree that thick yellow or green snot is uglier/grosser than thinner, clearer snot.  It seemed that the spirit of this thread was to come up with something that was the least favorite thing about crying, so I thought I'd contribute to the thread by coming up with something that nobody else had mentioned yet and something that I guessed could be my least favorite thing.  I hope I didn't come across as too negative in the process.  In the moment of someone actually crying, of course I wouldn't be sitting there fretting about snot.  I'd be too interested in all the good stuff going on to let that steal all my focus.  Although if the snot were green colored, I have to say, I would have to interrupt to get them a tissue.  If it's clear (as it should be in a healthy crying person), then it's not as big an issue (I have certainly fantasized about holding a tissue up to an allergic person's nose before... don't have an interest in looking at the contents of the kleenex, but if the snot accidentally touched my fingers, it wouldn't be the end of the world).  Anyway, that's the best explanation of sneeze fetishists I can give for now.  Mostly just average, normal people with a kink for sneezing, sneezing and more sneezing!  And then there's the ones who branch off creatively from that in one form or another (like me with my crying fetish, lol).

Last edited by woundedpuppy (August 25, 2011 2:01 am)

 

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