A younger James Woods breaks down in this one at 21:20:00
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCLD9cahie0

And gets teary in this one at 16 :40

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYIFQVdRClk

She has plenty of crying scenes in Midsommar as her character suffers from depression.

It's a film about a cop who goes through some traumatic experiences. There are a lot of scenes in which he is sobbing with guilt or anguish and even if it's mostly an action film the dramatic scenes are very well done.
 
  https://2kmovie.cc/watch-movie/watch-new-police-story-free-17352.5353003 (At 33:23 he is sobbing after his team of young cops got killed by a band of psychos, at 44:04 he's shown crying after his girlfriend tries to get him to talk about his trauma at 51:30 he sobs at the police station feeling shame and guilt,at 1:25:00 he starts crying when his girlfriend tells him to save himselfand he is also tearful at the end of the film when he proposes to her)

And he also cries in this one but i couldn't find the clip : https://www.irishmirror.ie/showbiz/celebrity-news/ed-sheeran-breaks-down-comic-9977876

Ella wrote:

Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's helpful to hear your perspectives and correct how this has all sort of mentally shifted for me now as I compartmentalize.

Obviously there's so many angles to this thing I'm dealing with right now, in addition to the basic grieving/loneliness:
-funeral planning, legal legwork
-trying to be there for my devastated children (junior high and elementary aged)
-worries about the future and going forward as a single parent on only one income

These are all things everyone is aware of and therefore wanting to help me with, and then there's this other little thing on my mind that they don't know and I definitely CAN'T talk about with anyone except you guys. Which is why I posted. Part of me feels like this is karmic, I'm getting what I deserve for all these years avoiding crying myself whilst scouring the internet for my guilty pleasure of watching others crying.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope your soul will gradually mend until you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think you shouldn't feel guilty about the way you experience mourning or any other raw emotion. I was told too at 14 years old that I hadn't loved my grandma that much because I hadn't cried at her funeral as it was expected.
I used to cry at home at night but during the day I didn't feel like it for some reason because some particular state of pain about loss only popped up in the evening or at night. It was just a bit strange but over the years I realized that the evenings and the nights were the special moments when she would read me stories and then later on I would read to her or we would talk about various things after midnight. That was when the realization of her death struck me the most and during the day my school concerns or other things will tone it down. Maybe it was that Ihad to pass an important exam that year and I still had to stay focused on studying and my mind found ways to cope with loss and anguish.