1 of 1- NoMalarkey
- Junior member
Offline - Registered: January 1, 2016
- Posts: 3
Finally Admitting My Obsession With Crying
I've been lurking for a few months. I have had to pinch myself a few times because I can't believe there is truly a site dedicated to this....what a welcome surprise! Now, a few hours before the new year, I accomplished one of my 2016 resolutions- to join this forum. I have so much to post, so please forgive me in advance.
I've always had an intense fear of crying in public, yet continue to be mesmerized by others crying in public. I have went out of my way to avoid it for almost my entire life (I only cry alone or with one other person). I noticed my obsession since before kindergarten. I remember the first time that I saw someone fall down and cry on the playground at school. I even saw her on Facebook a few weeks ago, nearly three decades later, lol. I've been fortunate to be a witness to many, many, crying episodes after this. A few things really stick out to me, especially the delay between when someone falls down and the crying actually starts. I've estimated a delay anywhere between three and fove seconds. Do you notice this? Why do you think it happens?
Also, I've seen that people do what I call a "pre-cry". This is when they wail really loudly all in one breath, it stops, and a short breath later, the real cry starts. This seems to happen with some of the bigger cries. Do you notice this?
I've always wondered how it feels to cry as I've described above. Like, do the criers actually know they're crying or do they only think of pain? Do they hear themselves crying and try to "adjust" the sound to make it sound better or not so bad? Is there a point in the cry where they realize they are crying in front of everyone?
My two special interests are when one cries from injury, such as a kid on the playground at recess, and men crying. I'm not married, but I have a rule that I won't have sex with a guy until he cries in front of me. It's something about the comforting I get to do in both cases.
I'm frustrated about not finding videos of a man just bawling his eyes out in his woman's arms. I looked at the forum, and many links to YouTube videos go to videos that are gone. Can anyone provide any updated links?
Thank you for reading my introduction, my first real publuc admission of my obsession. Happy New Year!
- caircair
- Godlike
Offline
- From: Seattle
- Registered: June 23, 2012
- Posts: 630
Re: Finally Admitting My Obsession With Crying
I've noticed both your observations - the few seconds to process the pain before the crying starts and the pre-crying.
I've noticed, especially with young children, if you can distract them quickly after they fall that you'll stave off the crying. This especially works with toddlers just learning to walk. If you see one fall down and rush over "Oh, baby! Are you hurt? Are you all right?" then baby will begin to wail. If you shrug, say "Oopsie!" and give baby a smile, they'll generally pick themselves up and go on about their business.
As for pre-crying, when he was a child my brother always took a few seconds to warm up. His face would contort, the tears would start to fall, his mouth would be open . . . and after a few seconds he'd begin wailing, very softly at first, then building into a crescendo of misery. Also, both he and my sister as children would invariably have one tear stuck to their face after they stopped crying, even half an hour to an hour after. My mother called it the "Sympathy Tear".
"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
- Lauren
- Full Member
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- Registered: January 1, 2016
- Posts: 11
Re: Finally Admitting My Obsession With Crying
Hi, NoMalarkey,
I just found this forum today too. Unbelievable, isn't it. It feels so good to FINALLY be able to talk about this very unusual fetish/attraction/whatever it is, and I can totally relate to your story. Mine comes with a twist--and I've never heard of ANYONE else who has this-- I'm excited by my own tears too. I'm actually in therapy right now to become more in touch with my own emotions because I'm very emotionally disconnected and find it so hard to cry, even when alone. I'm fortunate enough to have found a therapist who models emotions for me he is trying to get me to express--and this means he has cried (in a very subdued way) empathetic tears intended to get me to feel my own feelings. I describe this in more detail in my intro post from today, but let me assure you when it happens it's wonderfully surreal and incredibly touching but awkward at the same time and I sit there with my jaw hanging open and not able to say a word in response (he asked me how I felt about it, and I just laughed and made some dumb noise like "uhhhh") . Then I go home and keep going over and over that moment again in my head and feeling so moved that sometimes a few tears actually slip out.
I'm most attracted to crying when it's quiet, not full on sobbing, although in certain circumstnces that can be attractive too. The sight of a person, either male or female, with tears streaming down their cheeks and maybe a trembling lip but otherwise with a stoic expression is wildly attractive to me. I think it's the combo of dignity and emotional control coupled with vulnerability that is so irresistable. It's very hard to explain but I bet you can understand.
BTW, I know some very good ways to get a man who normally doesn't cry to cry in front of you, and I've listed those in my intro post, in case you're interested. They do work (though not always!)
Anyway, it's great to read other people's experiences! I think this forum is going to be an addiction. I always thought it was just me and that it was weird. I can never talk to anyone about it because it's so embarrassing.
Last edited by Lauren (January 2, 2016 1:05 am)
- handkerchief
- Great One
Offline
- From: Mississippi, USA
- Registered: February 3, 2013
- Posts: 227
Re: Finally Admitting My Obsession With Crying
Nomalarkey, Lauren..nice to have y'all on board. We're a pretty diverse lot, but we're all good friends. If y'all need a friend, feel free to holler at any of us.