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February 7, 2016 7:37 am  #1


Network Daydream

So, I don't know if this post is really going to have a point, but sometimes I really like to think about what it would be like if people like us could network. Like, if those of us who liked to comfort could network with people who liked to be the crier, or if those of us who liked to comfort could network with people who feel alone and need someone to open up to.  Not network in a dating site way or, really, anything actually sexual, just put ourselves out there for emotionally lonely people to be able to contact, meet up, and just open up/cry to us for a while. I don't know how something like that could actually work, since there don't seem to be very many of us in the world and most people would probably think we were weird, but it seems like a relatively beneficial experience for both sides. Come join my daydream brainstorm! lol

 

February 8, 2016 2:50 am  #2


Re: Network Daydream

Hi Punkchick.  Great topic.  I don't think there will ever be a specific service that helps match up people who want to cry with people who want comfort people... wouldn't that be nice?

I think people can post on dating websites and Craigslist-type sites and specify they're looking for FRIENDSHIP only, state their particular interests (crying/comforting-wise) and see what happens (though I haven't used these sites). 

Another idea is to host an event or meeting or party through Meetup.com.  I've never led one or been to one, but I am thinking of things like those "cuddle parties" that currently exist.  Have you heard of these?  There are groups out there where the idea is just that you get to experience human touch, but it's very respectful (the leaders probably have to take a day course or something to get licensed to host the official ones).  Everyone must ask permission before touching anyone, no one is *required* to touch anyone, no sexual advances, everyone must be fully clothed, etc.  You can cuddle in pairs, in bigger groups, and just see whatever evolves.  I think there's some "teaching" exercises at first and then you go at it freestyle.  They discourage hooking up (it's meant to be a platonic thing), but I'm sure people who find good chemistry exchange numbers in private so they can cuddle on their own...

I think one could host meetups for those interested in crying and comforting.  Personally, I think if it wasn't a fetish-related group, there would be a LOT of people interested.  Back in the '70's, there were swinger parties.  Now we've got cuddling parties.  Maybe crying/comforting parties are just ahead of their time?  Or maybe now is the PERFECT time to start them up!  Or maybe they already exist in some way and we're the last people to hear about them??  I wonder...

If we all put our heads together, maybe we can come up with some great answers to this networking question... I really do think that a lot of people DO want to open the floodgates and cry and know they need someone to be present with them in a nurturing way in order to be able to access those parts of themselves.
 

Last edited by Diana (February 8, 2016 4:56 am)

 

February 10, 2016 5:08 am  #3


Re: Network Daydream

Good thought! I was always thinking of individual meet-ups, because crying can be such an intimate thing (not necessarily sexual, just not something most people are comfortable doing in public). Parties would be interesting, though. Maybe people could wear name tags that were a different color to signify if they were there to cry or to comfort, and everyone would mingle like a normal party, but there could be other rooms in the house that you could sneak away to if you weren't comfortable opening up in the main room (not that you wouldn't be allowed to open up in the middle of everything if you felt like it). Idk how anyone would even go about getting something like that started. I ran a quick google search, but it came up empty.

     Thread Starter
 

February 10, 2016 8:10 am  #4


Re: Network Daydream

Exactly!  I am interested in the paired up/private crying too as it is so personal and intimate.  I was trying to think first how to mingle with specific types of people -- people who seem potentially interested or particularly open to the sort of experience we are interested in.  Once mingling in that pool, all SORTS of possibilities could evolve...

I tried searching for a meetup group interested in exploring "emotional release" which I figured would be a good way to meet people who are already basically looking to cry, but I haven't found anything yet.  Fortunately, I live in a densely populated area, so I think it's just a matter of finding the right search term.  Let's all help each other out with search terms!!  Anyone got any ideas?  I keep searching self-help themes, but maybe I should be looking at other areas of life?  Like, there could even be groups who get together once a month specifically to watch tearjerkers and enjoy a good cry together... 

I love your party idea!!  Yeah, a big house with several different sneak-away rooms, that would be awesome!  It would be easy enough to advertise (you don't need experience nor qualifications, just a house or community space or whatever) and if I had a friend in my area who had a similar interest, I might dare to take something on like that in partnership with them... but I don't....

Just for fun, though, here's an example I've just come up with:

Meetup.com > your city > self-help / personal growth > Hugs and Tears Group (Emotional Support group)

Need a shoulder to cry on?  Want to be a shoulder for someone else to cry on?  Either way, this group is for you!  We are a group of non-judgmental, caring listeners and open sharers who believe that emotional release is both healthy and important.  Some people don't have anyone in their lives they feel they can cry in front of.  Some people don't have anyone who provides them with unconditional emotional support.  This group brings together people interested in releasing their emotions, people wanting to comfort those who do, and people who want to do both!  Although confidentiality is mandatory, no one is pressured to talk about their personal lives at any time.  We begin our meetings in a group circle with a few trust and boundary-related exercises, practical techniques for letting our emotions go such as deep breathing exercises, and practical comforting techniques such as using touch, active listening skills, eye contact, etc.  We then break for snacks and a chance to mingle.  The second half of our meetings are less structured.  A group circle usually resumes, but people often find themselves wandering away from the group to have private one-on-one conversations with someone they've made a connection with over the break.  This is actually encouraged as many people find it easier and more satisfying to practice what they've learned in a one-on-one setting.  There are additional private rooms that can be used for this purpose.  The rest of the group take turns practicing what we have learned together.  Lights are dimmed and music is played to help create a more relaxed atmosphere.  Pillows and blankets are available for additional comfort and tissues are provided although you are encouraged to bring your own.  Sometimes conversations happen or sometimes we just cry and comfort each other in silence in a group huddle or meditate quietly and try to get in touch with our inner feelings.  We end the session with a few refreshing stretches and positive affirmations that allow healing to take place.  Please wear comfortable clothing.  No cameras allowed.  Please avoid wearing scented products.  Suggested donation $5.

Hahaha... I've got a great imagination, huh?

I swear something very very ROUGHLY along these lines must already exist??  Weekend workshops?  WHAT CAN ONE SEARCH TO FIND THEM?  I'm sort of piecing together the best bits of anything I've ever heard of before and then the crying and comforting pieces are obviously my own...

What do you think, Punkchick?  And anyone else?
 

 

February 16, 2016 4:50 am  #5


Re: Network Daydream

Maybe someone should start a crowdfunding project...?

 

February 16, 2016 7:18 am  #6


Re: Network Daydream

Netsoy wrote:

Maybe someone should start a crowdfunding project...?

What sort of crowdfunding project?  What would the funds raised be used/needed for?

 

February 23, 2016 3:34 am  #7


Re: Network Daydream

I love your ad!  I just don't know how one would go about finding something like that. It would be nice if people like us were more common; we could just make a support group/network for each other so that when one of us did need a shoulder to cry on, we could contact someone else who would be there for us and also appreciate the opportunity lol.  I do envy the BDSM community for that; it must be nice to be into something so common that groups are formed around it.

One idea I had for a search term was hurt/comfort, because I know there are a lot of people into that in the fanfiction world, so I thought maybe someone might have thought to make a "real life hurt/comfort group" or something like that, but I didn't see anything. I feel like we live in a world where this is doable, but the challenge would be difficult to overcome, especially as someone who would rather not announce this to everyone I know.

     Thread Starter
 

February 23, 2016 9:48 am  #8


Re: Network Daydream

You know, I only started looking at some BDSM stuff recently and I discovered that they have their own problems too -- a lot more than I realized.  My impression after reading a thread was that dominant women often get cancelled on last minute by guys who chicken out -- very annoying to be let down that way.  Submissive men, on the other hand, complained about it being hard to find a dominant partner -- the ratio is too many submissive men for the number of dominant women out there, and then of the women they find, many of them are not of an authentically dominant mindset (she thinks if she puts on the outfit and acts a certain way, it makes her a domme).  At a glance (because I really don't know this world), there are definitely more meetups and networking opportunities than we have.  But upon closer inspection, seeing even just a smattering of ads, I realized that lots of BDSM people are still looking for someone they are compatible with and many sounded desperate.  So... just kind of a side note, I guess.  I sort of lost focus and stopped looking for groups/networks after I found info on the crying parties in Japan (which I posted about in another thread).     

With the way things are on the internet right now, I don't know of any other crying fetishist in my country, let alone my city!  But the crazy thing is, they could be right under my nose and I don't know it.

Last edited by Diana (February 27, 2016 5:53 am)

 

February 24, 2016 3:34 am  #9


Re: Network Daydream

This sounds amazing, but knowing me I'd probably start laughing uncontrollably if I ever went to something like this. It would be a combination of nerves, excitement, and how ridiculous a situation it would actually be. Amazing, but really really ridiculous if you think about it.

Honestly I became an actor partially because I wanted to be placed in mandatory crying situations with other people...

 

March 13, 2016 5:35 pm  #10


Re: Network Daydream

I would love to have someone to cry with together rather than one or the other.  But my problem is I can Bennett cry when the other person is crying.  If someone with me starts crying my tears shut off and is maddening. 

 

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