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February 24, 2016 11:55 pm  #1

Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I'm really curious who people have told about their fetish.  I have only told my husband, a male friend, a counsellor... well, there haven't been many...

The male friend really became more than a friend.  He understood right away what I liked about it and thought it was sweet!  He was also willing to let me make him cry!!!  Definitely was worth telling that guy.  

I remember someone (not sure if she checks the forum anymore) who used to tell a lot of people but in a really casual sort of way.  The word fetish wasn't used... probably just something like, "I have a big "thing" for men who cry" or "I love it when men cry" something like that...

I'll tell you the reason for this post.  I'm considering getting into a totally different relationship with my male crying fetish where it is completely out in the open, almost like I'm proud of it.  Once you start telling, I suppose you may risk being teased about it for years to come, putting some people off, and it could make some real-life crying situations awkward or strained.  But on the other hand, I don't seem to get into the real-life crying situations anyway, so they can't be awkward if they don't exist!  Meanwhile, being so open about my fetish might allow for some very interesting conversations!  I am fascinated by unique kinks in general, so it might make people feel more open to talking about theirs... and I feel my life would be richer if I were to have more interesting conversations with more interesting (and non-conservative/open-minded) people...    
If I go this way, I would have to first think carefully how I'm going to word it and what my attitude would be.  I like the thought of laughing and grinning a big huge grin as I talk about it, like, yeah, isn't it COOL that I'm this way?!  Seriously!  I mean, I actually love something that a lot of people find awkward or sad -- I'm SOOO frickin' lucky, and so are the criers who get to be with me!!!  Also, I'm clearly unique... it definitely makes me one of those "special snowflakes".  Honestly, doesn't everybody sort of want to be a special snowflake?  Some people actually try very hard to make sure others KNOW that they are a special snowflake (whether they are or not).  They feel like they need/want the attention. They adopt a certain rebellious clothing style or attitude and try to be non-conformist or non-mainstream so that others will notice how "special" they are... when really, they are motivated by being seen as special rather than being truly attached to the causes, attitudes or identities they've adopted.  Well, we don't have to fake it, guys... this is real... we are definitely not mainstream... like it or not...

I used to hate that this was non mainstream.  I wanted the rest of the world to be like me.  But I am changing that attitude.  I didn't choose this... baby, I was BORN this way!!! (sorry, thought I'd throw in a Lady Gaga quote there)...

Back on topic... who have you told?  How did you describe it and and how did they take it?  How did your decision to tell that person effect your life now?  Tell me the good AND the bad stories... thanks!!


February 25, 2016 12:01 am  #2

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I told my husband immediately after I discovered it was a thing and there was a name for it. I only told him because I was so in shock that it had a name and there were other people like me. I didn't stop and consider ramifications, I was just like "OMG I think I have a fetish" so of course he was all excited and interested cause he didn't know what it could be.

All that happened was he asked a few questions to clarify things then immediately started teasing me and bringing up examples in movies ("Oh, I bet that's why you liked that movie" etc)

Right near that same time we watched a movie together and anytime anyone did anything remotely resembling crying he would elbow me and be like "eh? eh?", but in a way meant to tease & annoy me.  I started regretting telling him, but....

The good news is I think he's forgotten or something since then because after I didn't mention it anymore he stopped all references to it and/or teasing me.


February 25, 2016 3:34 am  #3

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I've only said anything to one person, a counselor I was seeing. Interestingly, she'd never heard of )Dacryphilia and I had to explain it to her (and she had a doctorate!). I quit seeing her not long after that because I'd reached the point where I no longer needed therapy.

However, I think my husband may suspect something about my quirk - I find when I'm watching TV with him and a crying scene comes on, I get very uncomfortable because I'm waiting for him to judge the scene and say something derogatory. I much prefer keeping crying scenes to myself.

"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."

February 25, 2016 3:54 am  #4

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I tend to be pretty open about it. Though I often shy away from using the word "fetish" because I find it uncomfortable and fear others will, too.

And in acting situations I usually keep it to myself because I don't want my costars to become uncomfortable during emotional scenes if we have any.


February 25, 2016 4:12 am  #5

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

Super-Secret -- cool that you tend to be pretty open about it.  I see you often shy away from using the word "fetish".  How do you tend to describe this interest to people?  And how does the topic tend to come up?  Would love to hear some examples of how others manage to work it into a conversation and how it could be described without using the word fetish.  Also interested to know if you've told mostly women, men or a mix of both and how they've reacted.  

Last edited by Diana (February 25, 2016 4:13 am)

     Thread Starter

February 25, 2016 4:24 am  #6

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

Funny thing, I actually mentioned it to a new friend just tonight! She was over and we were watching some clips on YouTube of a TV show I like. In one clip an attractive male character was crying, and I said "he's so hot when he cries" and she agreed. "I just find it really hot when guys cry," I said, and she seemed unphased. She told me then that when she sees men cry it sometimes makes her tear up because she's so not used to seeing it. I told her that this happens to me sometimes, too.

So yes, long story short, it comes up most often during TV or movies, or while discussing TV or movies. And I just tend to say that I "have a thing for guys crying" or "find it really hot when guys cry." I guess I don't say "fetish" often because it feel very sexual to do so, and I feel like talking to people other than my own sexual partners about sexual things would be rude and too forward.

As for telling men vs. women... Pretty even, I guess? Maybe more women, since those are the ones I tend to discuss turn-ons in men with. Women usually react with some version of "me too." They might not have the fetish, but almost all women who like men seem to find male crying cute. Men sometimes act weirded out or think I'm crazy, though.


February 25, 2016 6:50 am  #7

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

Really interested to hear about all this.  Very helpful, thanks.  I think different levels of interest could be implied with that exact sentence you are using depending how much passion was expressed, so I'm wondering -- Do you say it in a more nonchalant kind of way (like how you might reveal that you have a thing for men dressed in uniform), or is it more of an THIS-IS-SO-FREAKING-HOT kind of way like the gushing one might see coming from a fan over their favorite celeb?  I don't think either way is inappropriate in front of a non sexual partner since nothing sexual is mentioned, but the second way implies a much deeper level of interest or obsession for sure.  I guess I'm trying to capture the difference between saying something like, "I love dark chocolate!", versus, "No, you don't understand, I looooove dark chocolate" (a more intense sort of craving).  Curious about the level of enthusiasm you express?

     Thread Starter

February 25, 2016 12:41 pm  #8

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I've told me wife, two ex-girlfriends and an old work colleague (well sort of with the work colleague)
 ​I've never used the word 'fetish' - I think it implies something more seedy! Especially as my love for tears & crying does have a sexual side too it. Rightly or wrongly I think saying you have a fetish for something say 'I like that a lot, and can we have sex while you are going it' - so, yeah I would not use fetish when telling people. In terms of reaction with the above, with the two ex-girlfriends it was while they were crying. They might have said something like 'I'm such a mess' or 'I'm a cry baby' or 'I'm so ugly when I cry' - my response was 'no, you are very beautiful when you cry' - they'd be 'yeah, right your just trying to make me feel better' so I explained to them that no I really love your tears - to the point that they turn me on. Both appeared really good about it - they'd cry more openly in front of me and we'd often kiss towards the end of their emotional spell which would progress into sex! I never managed to make love to them while they were crying but they still had the 'I've been crying eyes' With my wife, it started out the same way really. I remember the first time I saw my wife cry very clearly, she looked so hot! but the reason she was crying as quite serious so it would have been inappropriate to acknowledge her tears in any other way than with comfort and support. The second time I saw her cry it was while we watched a film. I knew from the first time she cried openly - tears left to roll down her cheeks. It was the same this time, at one point I was so turned on and leant over gently brushed one tear away as I kissed another rolling down her cheek and said 'you look so beautiful when you cry' - got the usual 'no I don't' but as we hugged and kissed she noticed I was a bit turned on downstairs! got a 'OMG you really do like my tears' - 10 minutes later we were in bed! After we made love she asked me why I found her tears attractive - so I told her that it was just something I've liked from a very young age - like you say Diana - I was born this way. Today, she is ok with me being turned on by her crying, but I must first and foremost look after her and comfort her without being obviously turned on - if she is feeling down, sad whatever its not a good idea for me to ignore that! So, with both of the above I was already in a sexual relationship before I told them and it was at least initially specific to their tears and not every good looking woman who sheds tears. The work colleague was slightly different - I was not in any sort of relationship with her but I'd have like to be! Again it was in response to her crying. So, all of my 'tell' experiences had been in response to the other party being upset. Its never been planned. I told her she look really good when she cried, that she had movie star crying qualities. She seam quite flattered - but it never really went beyond that. Although she did say during a second time she cried in front of me that she was glad she could cry and not fear being made a fun of - so that was quite nice. All of these are a long time ago! I think generally I would not blurt it out, pick you moments when the mood is right. A relaxed environment, talking with friends at a party that sort of thing and perhaps steer a conversation that's getting close to emotions or what you think makes a hot guy even better to what makes the perfect husband - so casual chat. I actually, round of applause for think this way. I would love to change the worlds view of crying, both male and female. I think if people were not embarrassed by crying and did not view it as a weakness we would see a lot more of it - from both males and females! Good luck... let us know how you get on  ;o)   


February 25, 2016 11:04 pm  #9

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

caircair wrote:

I get very uncomfortable because I'm waiting for him to judge the scene and say something derogatory. I much prefer keeping crying scenes to myself.

I'm the same way! if a good crying scene happens when I'm watching with someone else it kind of ruins it for me, I can't properly enjoy it. I don't know how they'll react or whatever


February 26, 2016 5:41 pm  #10

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I never told anybody about my fetish and I don't think I will ever do. It is something very personal for me and I don't seem to know somebody I trust to this degree to talk about my crying fetish. It is something that makes me vulnerable and I am not ready to risk getting hurt telling somebody about it. 
I am married but my husband never cries and I don't neither. Therefore I don't have a good opportunity to talk about it with him. 
About the crying scenes in film I feel the same: I just can enjoy them if there is a risk that somebody sitting next to me might make a silly comment about the scene. I try to take some time and rewatch the scenes on my own. 


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