yellowrose wrote:

Okay question for everyone...
Several of you have mentioned crying in front of doctors, so I was curious...

I'm currently in medical school and would love insight on how you all would prefer those episodes to be handled by physicians.

Tearhunter- you had mentioned you were happy the male doctor didn't react or acknowledge you crying.  How did the female physicians react?  How would you have liked them to?  As I'm going to be a female doctor and I absolutely don't want to make any of my male patients feel uncomfortable or embarrassed crying in front of me, any thoughts would be awesome!

Carrotcake- how did your boyfriend's doctor react and what did you think about it?

Can't wait to hear what you guys think!

(Also, to be clear, watching guys cry, not the reason I went into medicine  )

Definitely glad the male doctor did not react - I obviously realise that he would have seen the tears both in my eyes and down my face even though I wiped them away quickly so there would be no doudt in his mind that I was crying but I'm grateful he did not say anything to bring attention or acknowledge the fact I was crying. That would have made it obvious to me that he had noticed (as if there was any doudt he would) and that would have made me feel worse / more embarrased. So I handled my emotions exactly the way I would have wanted him to.

It was a bit different with the female doctor - when I started crying I was crying quite hard so unable to speak - with the male doctor he was doing the talking so he could continue as if nothing was happening. The female doctor first placed a box of tissues nearby without saying anything. I didn't have the same embarrasement so I allowed myself to cry and didn't bother to hid the tears. But after what was probably around a minute later she must have felt it was time to break the silence (except my gasping, quiet sobbing) - she put her hand gently on mine (not holding it) and said - "it's ok, tears are allowed". This for me was better than just "it's ok" because she was saying - clearly you are not ok but it's ok to cry. I think I gasped someing like "sorry" - she squeezed my had a bit and said "don't worry about it". I started to speak again (sort of) and talk about the reason for my visit - which was a very emotional subject - at one point while I was still in tears she said, "your going to set me off in a minute" - and she did have wet eyes. She was very empathic which I liked and although she was acknowledging my tears it was very much in a non-judgemental way - she was comforting me in a doctor / patient way which I also liked - but only because it was a women. My guess is you have to be careful and read the body language of the person crying - and strike that balance of not making them feel uncomfortable which they might do if you bring attention to their tears versus acting too cold and ignoring them. Being a female, you I think have more scope to play the comforting role especially with crying males.

carrotcake wrote:

tearhunter, it was The Hunger Games. And also, I appreciate you sharing the story of crying at the doctor's office. I always wonder how other people react in doctor's offices and how doctors handle the situations. I'm sorry you were having a tough time, though.

This particular event occurred a good few years ago now - so a tough time from a while back - there have been several tearful events since this one involving medical staff !