I just want to thank everyone here for letting this board exist. Before I found this place I really thought I was the only person like this. I was amazed to discover it even had a name. Since realizing, many things in my past make sense now and I have a way to frame this odd feeling I've always experienced of being drawn to tears but never really understanding it. Most importantly I no longer beat myself up about it, in that before I would wonder if there was something wrong with me. I knew I was not sadistic but the pull of wanting to see tears and watch (mostly men) in emotional pain seemed incongruous with that. I didn't understand. I wondered if I was a bad person even though I knew I never wanted to CAUSE anyone pain.

So yeah being able to see others in similar situations is very reassuring.

Anyway, I'm female in my 30s, in the US, bisexual and married to a man. I've recently come up with a daydream which in a nonexistent perfect world I could have all my  needs met. I would live with my husband in order to have my best friend to raise our kids together and for occasional sex, and I would also have a hot girlfriend that only wants me. Then I would have another hot guy friend who I am the only confidant for and he would cry to me and use me to help him through all his emotional issues. He wouldn't need to live with me and I don't think it'd be a romantic or sexual relationship