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December 13, 2018 5:59 pm  #1

What to do....10,000 miles away and she's finally crying

As mentioned in my introduction post that I just wrote, I've been a good or best male best friend (though I'm heterosexual) for a lot of girls / women throughout my life. My current best friend is in some ways really like a sister for me. We met already 18 years ago (I'm in my late 30s now) and since then have been close friends. Although not always able to see eachother on a weekly basis, there's always contact between us, no matter where on earth we find ourselves.

She's not much of a crier sadly (for me).I've seen one tear a week after her grandmother passed away and when she visited me. Saw her crying at her grandmothers grave, yet I stood far away. And she cried when we kind-of "broke up" for a while, but she covered her face and eventually ran off. All those occasions have been more than 10 years ago by now. She got married last year, and I was the one who held the ceremony for all friends and family (I get along with her husband very well). During my 1 hour talk, she didn't cry. At the end (when I kind of planned it) she was a bit distracted as her young children were with them. I also wrote her father's speech for her, but I was coordinating the whole speaching thing and she was with her back to me, of course...she cried then.

At this very moment I"m 10,000 miles away from her. On a business trip since October and will not return to my country till the end of January. Last weekend she had a therapy session. Although she doesn't really have psychological problems, she felt she needed it. It was a weekend with women and men in a nice cottage. She texted me about it this week and said "I cried so much, don't know why but I've decided to let all things out that I normally hold inside. Got so many hugs and it felt so good! Not everyone cried but I kept going".

Actually I don't even know what to feel. In  many ways she's like my sister, but in this way definately not... And in some ways it feels like betrayal, that I so badly wanted to have seen that, to have been there, to have witnessed her cry like crazy (many times during that weekend). That feels bad, and the general feeling of having missed that feels bad too. I'm also afraid that this feeling won't last 'till I'm back, and that she's turned into her normal self by then.

I just don't know what to do or feel. Obviously she doesn't know of my 'thing for tears and crying'. At least I didn't tell her... Not even sure what to expect from you guys. Any advice will do actually...

Thanks and again (as in my introduction) apologies for lurking without participating so long.


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