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April 20, 2019 11:19 am  #1


I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

Long story short, I have been lurking in this message board without creating an account of my own for the last couple months believing that I must be dacryphilic.... And yet I have concluded recently that there is still something not exactly fitting about my personal case in terms of entrance to this community.

I believed I must be dacryphilic as I am certainly aroused almost exclusively when someone (including myself) is in strong emotional uproar that is enough to make the person cry or weep. According to how Dr. Mark Griffiths defined dacryphilia in Psychology Today, his definition focuses on emotional vulnerability and/or the display of strong emotion, and by this definition by kink does meet how dacryphilia is denoted.

Yet, that is a definition by a medical person who does not have dacryphilia himself.... And according to what I noticed by lurking here for the last two months, I actually noticed that almost 90% of our members here are really into the physical element of tears (the liquid)? And that is where I started to feel that I might not meet the standard of dacryphilia proper because, honestly, I do not feel much interest in the tears per se.

As for my personal case, I am not very interested in the tears, and more specifically, I am into situational cues where a person becomes so desperate by situation that he/she cannot sugarcoat their emotions anymore. Of course, for most cases, that involves crying, so I guess that was the reason why I first had dacryphilia in mind when it comes to illustrating my kink, but I think I am a little bit different from the majority of our members in the board for not being interested in the tears but in the situation cues like these, and so I started to feel that I might not be a fitting person for this message board ._.

For example, I do not feel any sort of arousal when someone is crying because of happy tears instead of emotional vulnerability, while I do feel the arousal even when the physical tears are not present at all only if it is situationally clear that someone cannot sugarcoat his/her emotions from others anymore (kneeling, begging, bargaining, for instance). So maybe as physical tears per se are not my personal focus at all, I do not really meet the standard of dacryphilia proper....?

And yet the word "masochism" does not illustrate my kink either, as I feel the word also encompasses too many materials that I am not interested at all - The main problem here is that, while my kink is clearly illustrated by "emotional vulnerability" or "the (overt) display of strong emotion," there is this one problem that I am not interested in the tears at all, which makes me divergent from other members in our board.

So I am actually looking if there is a word to illustrate my personal kink other than dacryphilia....? It does not matter if it is conclusively a subtype of dacryphilia or if it is actually a different category, I just wish to ask opinions from other members here on my personal kink. I honestly wish that I am not alone with this specific kink on this planet .-.

Last edited by Snallygaster (April 20, 2019 11:20 am)

 

April 20, 2019 1:28 pm  #2


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

Welcome Snallygaster, I have never heard about someone with your particular interests, but I guess you could still fit and contribute with your obs,it feels nice to share, you could get to know yourself better. Have a great weekend.

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (April 20, 2019 2:06 pm)

 

April 22, 2019 8:51 pm  #3


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

I’m kind of like you. I think it should qualify as dacryphilia? I get aroused from the thought of comforting some one. The context of the crying is very important for me, much more than the actual tears. The Loss of Control, f.ex. Someone desperately  trying to hold back the tears can be just as arousing, it’s not the same thing with a random guy sheding tears where I don’t know the reason...

 

April 22, 2019 9:41 pm  #4


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

I agree, I think you are definitely in the right place.  I don't find anything attractive about tears themselves.  I am much more like Rose in that I also enjoy the loss of control, the vulnerability, the thought of comforting.  Happy tears are sweat but don't do much for me either and my draw to someone crying has so much more to do with the context.  I am not attracted to the simple act of tears on someone's cheek.  It is more more about the emotional context and intensity of crying.  I think you will find there are quite a few of us like you here, but in the recent months the forum has tended to trend more towards the physical act of tears.  Welcome.  You are in the right place!


"...men do not cry. They will do anything BUT cry. They stop themselves crying. And eventually they do cry if it is bad enough. So that's how you know with a man how bad it is for him. Because he would've stopped himself...Men always cry like that. They don't cry and in the end they do and if they do then it's overwhelming." ~Michael Caine
 

April 15, 2021 1:49 am  #5


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

Jumping into an old thread - I actually experience kind of the same! I'm into physical tears too, but mostly as an expression of the emotions. The more actual emotion (and the more loss of self control involved) the better. I'm only mildly attracted to just the tears themselves - for example, I can't get into acting crying, it's kind of just like looking at an attractive person - pleasant to look at, but I need something more real.

 

April 15, 2021 7:53 am  #6


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

I'm pretty much the exact opposite, I like the tears themselves, and feel that tears can make an otherwise normal, not super attractive woman look really beautiful. I actually prefer tears caused by non-emotional factors like yawning or staring without blinking. I'm definitely way more comfortable watching acting crying videos than vlogs. I do like reaction videos as they are sort of a trade-off between real crying but not too serious emotions. I don't feel comfortable watching vlogs where girls are crying for extremely sad reasons like a loved one dying, being diagnosed with some serious illness, etc., though I don't mind portrayals of these in acting.

 

April 17, 2021 4:40 pm  #7


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

cray stinger wrote:

I'm pretty much the exact opposite, I like the tears themselves, and feel that tears can make an otherwise normal, not super attractive woman look really beautiful. I actually prefer tears caused by non-emotional factors like yawning or staring without blinking. I'm definitely way more comfortable watching acting crying videos than vlogs. I do like reaction videos as they are sort of a trade-off between real crying but not too serious emotions. I don't feel comfortable watching vlogs where girls are crying for extremely sad reasons like a loved one dying, being diagnosed with some serious illness, etc., though I don't mind portrayals of these in acting.

I can relate to this, I very much prefer the visual beauty of tears than anything else. I'm not as picky about the reason behind the tears, but I think I too won't be too comfortable if a girl is too sad or heartbroken. When I watch vlogs, I try to watch it on mute and don't read the description or comments to see why the girl is crying.

 

April 28, 2021 6:40 pm  #8


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

Rose wrote:

I’m kind of like you. I think it should qualify as dacryphilia? I get aroused from the thought of comforting some one. The context of the crying is very important for me, much more than the actual tears. The Loss of Control, f.ex. Someone desperately trying to hold back the tears can be just as arousing, it’s not the same thing with a random guy sheding tears where I don’t know the reason...

Honestly I do tend to think this mind-set seems less anything "abnormal" and more a reaction against modern societies views on vulnerability and sex. The idea of being vulnerable emotionally does I think often get looked down on as a sign of weakness in todays individualist/ego focused world yet really I think empathising with others vulnerability is the core of what love is. Equally I think sex tends to be viewed as lacking in substance both on the liberal side were its viewed as casual entertainment and the conservative side were its dirty and wrong. That you might be sexually attracted to someone you empathise with very strongly to me doesn't seem wrong at all, that sex isn't just frivolous fun(not saying it can't be or that is wrong) but can be an expression of deep feeling for someone is I think under represented in culture today.
 

Last edited by RF (April 28, 2021 6:42 pm)

 

April 29, 2021 4:31 pm  #9


Re: I am not sure if I am a sort of 'subtype' or dacryphilia or not....

Welcome.  I have the same thing.  It's the tears and crying itself that I'm attracted to not the suffering

 

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