Here’s the second time with the same friend (Kay) I had written about. This was about two months after the first time. During this time he became official with the girl he was talking to and even introduced me to her (let's call her Jen). Weird thing was that he told me that he was unsure about his feelings for Jen, though throughout the month he started spending more time with her and less with me. I felt a little jealous and started regretting missing the opportunity to express my feelings. Combined with previous problems, I started feeling really depressed.

A way for me to express my emotions is through piano, but I didn’t have one at my place and his dorm had an amazing grand piano. I would go there often to practice between classes, but you needed a key that was given only to the students who lived there. So Kay would usually come with me and listen to me play as he would do his school work.  So I messaged him and asked him if I could come over and practice. He told me that he was in class, but Jen was still chilling in his room so I could still go over and get the key from her. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but I knew that I had no right to be upset. So I got the key from her and went to the piano room. I was feeling so much distress that I couldn’t play right. It was winter too and my hands were shaking from the cold so I kept messing up. After couple more tries, I was so frustrated that I broke down. I put my hands on the music rack and silently cried. Tears slipped off my face and dripped on the piano keys. After some time Kay used his spare key to come into the piano room. I was actually kind of surprised that he had come. I quickly wiped my tears with my sleeve. He asked me if I was crying and I laughed and said no. He knew better and knew exactly what was wrong. He opened his arms and I hugged him as I was sitting down and he was standing. I cried silently, anxious that someone would walk in somehow. He stroked my hair, and said, “I got you". Then he sat on the piano chair next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I put my head against the side of his chest. He started pressing on random keys and asked me how everything was going for me. I was too prideful to admit that I had missed him. “I can’t even play anymore” I whispered. I remember a tear slid off the bridge of my nose and fell onto his lap. I think he noticed too because right away he reached over for my hand and locked our fingers. “You're shaking maybe that’s why” he pointed it out. “I’m just cold” I shrugged it off. He held me more tightly and rubbed my arm to warm me up. He eventually took off his sweater and just put it on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me again.  After a while of talking and me crying, he said he has to go to his next class. I was hoping he’d be here a bit longer or wipe my tears or something but he didn’t. When we got out the door, to my horror, Jen and one of his floormates were coming to the piano room to join us. I was still wearing his sweater, my eyes and cheeks were red and there were obvious tear stains on his light blue shirt. It seemed like she had noticed that I’ve been crying and I felt embarrassed for both of us. I didn't want her to think that there was anything between us. We said hi to each other, but I just wanted to get out of there. I gave back his sweater, thanked both of them, and made an excuse to leave.   

Last edited by Ashkin (April 25, 2021 9:18 am)