1 - Cryophilia
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Crash and Cry
Hey all, this is a new fic I wrote. Hopefully y'all like it, and let me know if you want me to continue it!
———————————————
It was a beautiful Saturday, but everything was about to change. I'd been living with my boyfriend for over a year now, and we always had such a beautiful relationship. He loves me and I know I love him more than anything.
That weekend he decided to go camping with our friend Jason. They'd been preparing for weeks and I know my boyfriend was super excited to head out to spend time in nature. After helping him pack and getting his food ready, I gave him a kiss and sent him off, reminding him to be safe. I had plans to chill out all weekend and give myself a much needed break from work and stress.
It was 4pm and I had been pigging out on chips and Netflix marathons for hours until I got a call from Jason.
"That's weird," I thought. "They should already be at the camp, and it has no cell service out there." I quickly answered.
"Jason?" I heard nothing but shaky breaths.
"I'm so sorry," he croaked. I could hear the tears in his voice.
My heart dropped. "What happened?"
Breathy sobs began to escape him. His voice shook as he spoke. "We- we were on the freeway and I was stupid."
I held my breath as he spoke.
"We'd been on the road for eight hours. I was driving and he started drinking and I was bored so I took a few drinks too. We were going 80 miles and then it was like this semi truck came out of nowhere."
"What happened to-?"
"I tried to swerve out of the way but so did the semi-truck and we crashed and he went flying out of the windshield. I'm so sor-"
"How could you do this, Jason? He's your best friend."
I heard him begin to sob on the phone. He tried to speak through his sobs. "H- he- he's- in the hosp- hospital. They p- put him in- a- coma."
"Can I speak to his doctor or a nurse?"
"Yeah, I'm in the parking lot and I already explained that he has no family and that you're all he has." He took a deep breath and kept talking but I heard nothing he said.
"I gotta go."
Jason tried to keep me on the phone but I hung up and called the hospital they were at. They basically told me he's having too much brain swelling so they put him in a coma. The hospital is 5 hours away but they told me I couldn't go see him because they're not letting in visitors due to the pandemic. I made them promise to call me with updates. As soon as I hung up from the hospital I saw I had 3 texts from 20 minutes ago from my best friend, Adam.
Adam: Hey I heard about what happened, you okay?
Adam: Obviously not but are you okay? Do you need anything?
Adam: You know what forget it I'm coming over. You shouldn't be alone right now. I'll be there in 20 minutes.
Immediately, tears sprung to my eyes, but I tried to hold them back. I knew if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop.
With tears in my eyes I replied: "I'm okay it's ok you don't have to come." After I sent it I realized he was probably already arriving.
Adam: I'm pulling into the parking lot right now.
"Fuck, as soon as he gets here I'm gonna break down. I can't handle that right now."
I went into the bathroom to wash my face, hoping that'd keep me calm. I checked myself in the mirror to make sure I was presentable. My eyes were red and completely full of unshed tears. As soon as I was done scrubbing my face, I heard his knock on the door.
I took a deep breath, trying to will myself not to cry. I opened the door and barely had time to see his concerned expression before he rushed in and wrapped me up in the tightest hug I'd ever had. Immediately, tears burned in my eyes as I tightly shut them. Almost as if he could sense that, he squeezed me tighter. That was all I needed.
Several tears began to escape my eyes. They rolled down my cheeks and landed on his shoulder. I tried to hold back the sobs as he let go and looked into my eyes.
"I love you, and I'm here for you, okay?"
I nodded as the tears kept coming out. He turned around and to my surprise, pulled in a suitcase he'd set down outside my door. Then he shut the door to my apartment.
"What's this?" I asked.
He turned to me and wrapped me up in another hug. "I love you, I said I'm here for you. You shouldn't be alone so I'm gonna stay with you until he gets better."
"But- what about work?"
"I'm doing my work at home anyway, I can get it all done on my laptop. It doesn't matter though, what matters is you." He pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"Talk to me; how you holding up?"
I looked away from his concerned face as more tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't speak, all I could muster was a shake of my head. He wrapped his arms around me and led me to my couch. I sat down and noticed him kneel in front of me through my blurry vision.
"Look at me," he whispered gently.
I opened my eyes and looked into his bright blue eyes.
"Whatever you need from me, I'm here, okay? Anything you need done I'll take care of. I just want you to let me in and talk to me. Don't shut me out. I'm here for you and I love you so much."
At those words, more tears rushed from my eyes as a quiet sob escaped my lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into another hug. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I buried my face in his shoulder. My tears had smeared all over my cheeks and my sobs were no longer silent. He gently rubbed my back and held me tight. I lost track of time as I cried for what felt like hours.
Eventually I pulled away. I reached up to dry my cheeks but he beat me to it. He held my cheeks as he slowly wiped my tears. As soon as he dried my cheeks, more tears would fall. Eventually he gave up and pulled me into another quick hug. He sighed softly as he released me from the hug. I sniffled as I wiped my tears.
"I'm going to the bathroom to get you tissues, okay? I'll be right back." I nodded as he got up off the ground and rushed to the bathroom. Surprisingly though, he shut the door instead of just grabbing the tissue box.
After several minutes, he finally came out with the tissue box, and I noticed his pink, wet eyes. He sat down next to me on the couch and wrapped his arm around me as he gave me a few tissues from the box. I took them and blew my nose.
After a few moments, he broke the silence. "I'm so sorry you're going through this." I looked at him through my tears. "You don't deserve this kind of pain and I hate that Jason put you both through this." His eyes began to get wet. "I love you so much, just know you're not alone, okay? I feel your pain, and I'm gonna stay with you every step of the way."
I shut my eyes and to my surprise, I realized that my sobs had turned into wailing. Adam pulled me into his lap and laid my head on his shoulder as he buried his head into my own shoulder.
After a few minutes my cries quieted down. That's when I noticed his sobs. He was gripping the back of my shirt and gently sobbing. I couldn't help myself, I had to see him so I pulled away. His face was blotchy and tears were smeared all over.
"Why are you crying?"
"I just-" he paused, trying to collect himself. "I've known you so long and we've been through so much together. You truly deserve to be happy. It kills me that you're in so much pain and I can't fix it. I love you. I can feel your pain and I'm just so sorry." Several tears fell down his cheeks as he spoke.
I'm not gonna lie, I hated that he was crying. But it felt good to cry together with him. As close as we were, it brought us together even more. He pulled me into his chest and rested his cheek on my head as he rubbed my back and arms.
By this point, my crying had been reduced to a few tears and a lot of sniffles. He had begun to sob quietly though. Eventually I had to pull away to grab more tissues. I blew my nose and handed a few to him. He wiped under his eyes and pulled me into another hug. My tears just weren't stopping so I didn't bother drying them.
By this time it had been a couple hours. I was tired and I know he was too. I turned around and leaned against him. We laid back and eventually I fell asleep.
When I woke up I discovered he was asleep as well with his arms around me. I saw the clock on the tv and noticed that I'd been asleep an hour and a half. I looked at Adam and saw his cheeks were still wet. He'd been crying even after I fell asleep. I leaned back on him and tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't.
I don't know if my boyfriend will be okay, but I know I'll have Adam to help me through no matter what happens. He knows I'd do the same for him.
Last edited by Cryophilia (September 30, 2021 7:11 am)
- Amans lacrimae
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Re: Crash and Cry
Love it, please continue.
- Princess_Lucky1731
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Re: Crash and Cry
This is an amazing fic. I hope you decide to continue it. I could picture every detail. It was really sweet how Adam wanted to comfort her and make her feel better as it was that he was willing to open up to her and cry out of feelings for her pain. Honestly it made me feel for both characters.
- Cryophilia
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Re: Crash and Cry
PART 2
I'd tried for 10 minutes to go back to sleep but I just couldn't. I carefully got up, trying not to wake Adam. I went to the kitchen and stared in the fridge and then looked in the cupboards. Nothing was appealing, I wasn't even hungry. I didn't know why I was even in the kitchen, I just felt aimless.
It was around 7pm and getting dark so I figured I should try to take a shower and change my clothes for the night. I walked to the shower, checking on Adam and being careful not to wake him.
As soon as I walked into the bathroom and shut the door I just felt overwhelmed. Everything in the bathroom reminded me of my boyfriend. The handsoap was his favorite scent, the bathroom color scheme was what he picked out, the rug was his. Grief overwhelmed me so deeply that I ended up on the floor of the bathroom sobbing my eyes out.
I was leaning against the wall sobbing, arms around my legs when Adam burst in.
"H-haven't y-you ever hhh-heard of knocking?"
He knelt down next to me on the floor. "I heard you crying; there's no time for manners right now."
I barely heard him through my sobs. I covered my face with my hands as he pulled me against his chest.
"What are you doing crying alone in here?" he asked gently. "I want you to come to me, wake me up if you need to. It's okay, I just don't want you to cry alone like this."
I tried to explain through my sobs. " I- I wanted t-to shower but e-everything re-reminds me of h-him."
He settled himself next to me and pulled me into his lap. I kept crying into his chest as he stroked my hair, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. "I love you, it's okay."
My tears seemed to get everywhere. They slipped through my fingers, they landed in my lap, they streamed down my neck. Eventually I gave up trying to contain them and wrapped my arms around his back. He tangled his fingers in my hair and wrapped his arms around me so tight I could barely breathe.
"I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I just don't know what to do. I feel helpless," I whispered.
"Let's just focus on getting through today, okay?"
I sniffled, nodding into his shoulder.
He pulled away from me, looking into my eyes. "I'm here for you, okay?" I wiped my tears and nodded.
He pulled my head into his chest and began to thumb my tears away. One arm wrapped around my back and he rubbed my shoulders gently.
"I love you, I'm not going anywhere."
—————
"You've barely touched the pasta. You need to eat something."
I shook my head. "I'm not hungry."
"I know, but eat just a little bit." His fingers were entwined in mine, his thumb rubbing circles in the back of my hand. "Please? I made it just for you."
It was dusk, the sun barely shining anymore. It was raining, almost as much as I'd cried so far. Almost.
He had been attached to my hip all day. Always having a hand on me, or touching me somewhere. Holding my hand, or leaning against me, or wrapping his arms around me.
It didn't bother me in the slightest.
I took another bite of the pasta he'd cooked for us. It really was amazing. I wish I had a bigger appetite for it. Any other day, I would've gobbled it all up.
I set down the pasta and sat myself between his legs. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and he laid his chin on my shoulder.
"How you feeling?"
I shook my head.
"What can I do for you?"
"Nothing." I sniffled.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his cheek against my shoulder.
At this point you might think we had something going on between us, but we didn't. He was always physically affectionate with me. He was good at comforting me. Everything was purely platonic. I love my boyfriend and I don't know what I'd do without either of these guys in my life.
My chest started tightening at that thought.
"I know you're tired of crying, but let it out."
I shook my head. "I'm fine."
"I know you. I can feel you holding it all in right now. Just let it all out."
My throat felt tight as I took a deep breath. "I'm not gonna cry."
"I love you. You've been holding back all day. Just let it all come out. I promise I'm here and I won't leave you."
I was trying my best to keep it in but a tear escaped. "Stop."
He squeezed his arms around me tighter. "I love you so much."
I couldn't handle it anymore. My chest heaved in a silent sob. I gripped his arms that were around me, trying to remind myself that I'm not alone.
"You're not alone, I'm here. Let me take care of you. Just let it all out, you won't drown. I've got you."
At that, my sobs started escaping me.
———
Adam's POV:
I had my arms around her waist. She sniffled and I could feel her body trembling. I knew she was holding back. I've been there; you feel like you can't handle it so you just keep everything in. That makes things worse. She's seen me holding things back at my worst. She knows how harder things get from there.
I laid my cheek on her shoulder and squeezed her tightly. I felt her stomach heave.
I tried my best to make her feel safe enough to just let go. I wanted to convince her to trust me to keep her afloat. I felt a tear land on my arm.
"I love you so much," I told her.
I felt her body shake as she sobbed silently. She gripped my arms tightly.
"You're not alone, I'm here. Let me take care of you. Just let it all out, you won't drown. I've got you."
Her tears started falling everywhere. I could feel them on my arms, my hands. I pulled her in and buried my face in her shoulder and her body heaved with deep sobs. Her sadness made my stomach hurt and I felt like crying too. But I'd already cried a bit today, and I didn't wanna detract from her moment of release. I tried to hold back. I took a deep breath and pulled her in tighter against me. I rubbed my thumb in circles on her arm.
I wish I could've taken her sadness from her, but I'm glad I could be there for her through everything. Her cries were almost deafening. I held her tight against me, and never wanted to let her go again. We've been through everything together and I can't bear to see her crying like this. A few tears trickled down my cheeks.
After almost 2 hours she finally calmed down but I couldn't let her go. I held her in silence for over an hour afterward. We both shed a few tears together in that hour. It was almost midnight when we fell asleep on the couch together.
Last edited by Cryophilia (September 30, 2021 7:15 am)
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Thread Starter- Amans lacrimae
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Re: Crash and Cry
Heartbreaking, yet, very sweet. I love the way Adam holds you, wipes your tears and has the intuition to comfort you the best way possible.
Thank you for sharing your fic.
- Princess_Lucky1731
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Re: Crash and Cry
That's the sweetest relationship they have. He's so caring to her through her heart break and tears. Its sweet to see him moved to tears due to hers. One if the most real, heartfelt amazing fics I've read.
- Cryophilia
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Re: Crash and Cry
PART 3
Adam's POV
When I woke up, it was still dark. I checked my phone and saw it was 4am. We'd been asleep for 5 hours, tangled up on the couch. She was asleep next to me.
Even her expression in her sleep carried pain, and her eyelids fluttered. I hoped she wasn't having a nightmare.
I got up and went to the bathroom. My hair was a tousled mess and my eyes were still pink. You could tell I'd cried today. A lot. She'd cried way more than me and somehow still managed to be gorgeous. Me, I just looked like a slob.
I washed my hands and my face, but I didn't look any better. I felt like years had been shaved off my life after all this emotion.
As exhausted as I felt, I knew she must've felt so much worse. I've known her for years, but she's always been a happy person. I had a feeling that would change now. I couldn't even begin to imagine her pain. Just thinking about that made me feel like breaking down.
I watched in the mirror as tears sprung to my eyes, instantly filling up. It's interesting to me the way people cry. Me, there was no way you could tell I was crying except by seeing the tears. I have no expressions, no matter how hard I cry. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. I wanted to be there next to her in case she woke up. But the more I tried to compose myself, the more I seemed to lose control.
Keep it in, Adam. Be there for her. Don't let the tears... fall.
A large tear slipped from my left eye. Then another followed quickly after it. As soon as I wiped it, 2 more tears slowly streamed down my other cheek. I gave in and slowly shut my eyes, allowing more tears to fall.
I wiped my chin with the back of my hand as another tear fell from the corner of my eye. I let go and allowed myself to get everything out. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, allowing my tears to keep flowing.
I've known her for years and we've been through fights, exes, trips and vacations, and tons of laughter together. I love her like my own family. I've known her boyfriend since she met him, and I think he's a great guy. They just fit. Knowing that he's on the edge of death breaks my heart for both of them. If he goes, I don't know if I can pick up the pieces of her heart again.
That shatters me, and I don't want that for her. It's her first night since hearing the news and I don't really know what to do to help her. I wanna be there for her, but I feel like I'm not doing enough. I wiped another tear from my chin.
I heard a cry from the other room. I rushed into the room and saw her tossing and turning in her sleep. She was crying and calling out for her boyfriend. I ran over to her and tried to wake her up. I touched her face but she turned away, so I turned on the light. She awoke with a start. She took an immediate look at her surroundings and took a deep breath.
"I had such a horrible dream, Adam. I'm so glad you're here and I-" she stopped talking suddenly.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Are you okay?" She reached up to touch my cheek.
I had forgotten that I was crying before she woke up. I hadn't realized until now that tears were still streaming down my face.
I quickly thumbed them all away. "Are you?"
She hesitated, looking into my eyes. "No," she whispered.
"Then neither am I." A few tears rushed to replace the ones I'd dried on my cheeks.
She sat in my lap on the floor and wrapped her legs around me as she hugged me. This only opened the floodgates. I cried hard into her shoulder as she held onto me. I felt her tears on my shoulder as she cried into mine.
After a few minutes, we pulled away from each other, taking deep breaths. I gently wiped her tears and let mine dry.
"What happened in your dream?" I was curious.
"I saw them crash and I saw him fly out the window like 10 feet ahead." She cried as she spoke, and I pulled her in. "He called out my name before he passed out."
Before we knew it, we were both sobbing again.
After another half hour, I pulled her back onto the couch with me. We stayed up talking until she fell asleep on my shoulder.
Last edited by Cryophilia (September 30, 2021 7:27 am)
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Thread Starter- Princess_Lucky1731
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Re: Crash and Cry
That's so sad yet so beautiful. The emotions felt so real. I liked the way Adam finally let him self cry and had hardly any shame crying in front of her.as did she. If was beautiful how they comforted each other.
- Cryophilia
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Re: Crash and Cry
I have a large couch but somehow we ended up crushed against each other in one corner. I woke up with a start, feeling like I had a hangover. But I didn't. I hadn't drank.
Adam looked perfectly fine in his sleep. But me, I looked like a slob. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and washing my face. I probably should've showered too, but it was all I could do to even brush my teeth.
Adam was still sound asleep, so I spent my time aimlessly switching through channels on TV. Nothing looked appealing, and I'll be honest, I doubt I was registering anything happening on TV. I turned it off.
I checked my phone for calls or texts from the hospital or Jason. Nothing. I had a bunch of texts from everyone else, but I didn't really care to look through them. They didn't really care, the only person who really did was sleeping next to me. I sat there and quite literally stared at the wall.
"Hey." Adam woke up, but honestly, I barely heard him. I was so zoned out that I didn't know what I was thinking or what was going on.
Adam sat himself on the coffee table in funny of me and took my hands in his. "You okay?" he asked, looking into my eyes.
I shrugged. At this point I didn't know what to say. Yes, I'm okay, I didn't die or get hurt. My boyfriend did. But no I'm not okay because I kinda wish it was me.
"Please don't say that." Adam's eyes filled up with tears. Oops. I hadn't realized I said that out loud.
"I don't know what I would do if you-"
I regretted saying it. I hadn't meant to but I shouldn't have even thought it. But I did and I meant it.
I was snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of a sniffle. I looked up at Adam, and found his eyes pink and filled to the brim with tears. There was wetness under his eyes and tear streaks down his cheeks. A large tear clung to his bottom eyelash, almost like it was too afraid to fall for fear of unleashing a dam of tears inside.
Adam had stopped halfway through his sentence, too choked up to finish it. His nose was red and he bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. A few more tears leaked out and clung to his eyelashes, refusing to fall. He didn't even blink, for fear of letting the tears fall.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, reaching out to Adam's hands. As soon as my fingers wrapped around his, the dam broke. The first tear that clung to his eyelashes rapidly fell down his cheek. His eyebrows creased as his shoulders shook in a silent sob. He shut his eyes as more tears fell.
He'd cried as much as me throughout all this, and I couldn't help but feel his love. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in for a hug. As he opened his eyes, more tears filled his eyes and fell. I pressed my cheek against his and felt the wetness against my cheek as more of his tears fell. He squeezed me so tight, I couldn't breathe.
"I can't lose you," he whispered between shaky breaths. I could feel his entire body trembling. I could feel his tears soak through my shirt as he buried his face in my shoulder.
Honestly, I was so emotional, but I was too tired to even cry at that point. I soaked in Adam's emotions. I felt his gentle trembling, the tears on my shoulder, the way his breath was unsteady, and just absorbed it all.
It was exactly in this moment that someone decided to knock on my door. He lifted his head as more tears made their way down his cheeks. I wiped his cheeks hoping it would calm him down, but that backfired, bringing out more emotions. He covered his mouth with his hand, squeezed his eyes shut, and began to sob quietly.
Another knock on the door. He stood up, sobbing, and rushed into my room. I didn't have time to chase after him. I opened the door without even thinking to check who it was.
It was a delivery for a small package. I thanked them, and shut the door. It said it was from Jason. Honestly, I didn't even want to open it. He was the reason my boyfriend was on his deathbed. But even if I did want to open it, there was no time. As soon as I shut the door, I could hear Adam's sobs coming from my room.
I set the package down and rushed to my room. He was sitting on the floor, back against my bed. His hands were covering his nose and mouth, eyes shut, with tears flowing. The sight broke me down and I started to cry too. I sat next to him and gently pulled his hands down and used my index fingers to dry his cheeks.
He looked at me and shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying so much," he whispered. He leaned himself into my hands, letting me dry his cheeks.
"Don't be sorry," I reassured him. He reached up to dry my own cheeks with his thumbs, making sure to never stop wiping.
After a bit, he stopped crying, but I'd only just begun. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me as I cried.
———
Adam's POV
I don't know why I was crying so much, I know I love her and I love her boyfriend. At the same time her saying she wished it was her just brought up all of this fear of losing her or her sinking into depression. It was just a lot for me.
She was giving me comfort, but I could see her emotions overcoming her. I saw her face transform from concern about me, to overwhelming pain. She began to cry and for some reason that brought out that protective side of me. I wiped her tears and pulled her into my lap. I needed to make sure to give her her own space to let things out.
My tears all but stopped. She leaned herself into my chest and I held her as she cried. I could feel her tears soak into my shirt and feel her body shake. She felt so fragile, such a rare thing for her. She's stronger than anyone I know.
I cried for her, and let her cry for herself. After a while, she seemed to calm down and pulled herself away and wiped her tears. I straightened her hair and rubbed her shoulders. I rubbed her cheeks, she'd dried them but I wanted to give her a comforting gesture. Nothing felt comforting enough.
She sat herself next to me on the floor and intertwined her fingers in mine. She laid her head on my shoulder as i leaned against hers. I love her and I'd do anything for her.
"Who was at the door?"
"Delivery from Jason."
"Why didn't you open it?"
"Adam, you were bawling in here."
I shook my head. "It wasn't that bad, I probably would've just opened the box instead of coming to chase me."
"I don't even wanna know what's in it."
I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I'll be here when and if you're ever ready to open it."
Her eyes were wet and she avoided eye contact. I just wanted to hold her and never let her go.
Last edited by Cryophilia (September 30, 2021 7:24 am)
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Thread Starter- Cryophilia
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Re: Crash and Cry
hi all, it's been a while. I've been super busy but so glad to see you all! I'm curious if anyone still wants to see this story continued? Here's the next section.
———————————————
"I just need to get outta here."
"What do you mean," Adam asked.
"Can we just go for a walk or something?"
Adam squeezed my hand. "Of course."
I got up and reached out to pull him up too. "I should probably change the clothes I've been wearing for 2 days, huh?"
Adam nodded. "Only if you're up for it. It doesn't matter how you look, just do what you need to, okay?" He walked over and buried me in a big hug.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
He pulled away and rubbed my arm. "I know the perfect place we can go."
I nodded and gestured to the bathroom. "I'm gonna shower."
———
Adam's POV:
I'd already showered before she woke up this morning, so I went and grabbed some clothes and got dressed in her room while she was showering.
After an unusual while, she hadn't come out so I went to knock on her door. The shower was turned off, and I didn't hear anything.
"Hey, you okay?" I gently asked as I knocked.
I heard her shaky voice dissolve into tears. "No."
"Hey I love you, it's okay. Can I come in?"
She barely managed to get out an "okay," before dissolving into tears again.
I opened the door and found her laying on the floor, crying.
I knelt next to her and pulled her up. "I'm so proud of you."
"Why? I can't even get out of the bathroom and I have no idea why I end up crying on the bathroom floor every time."
"You were able to shower, get dressed, brush your teeth, and dry your hair. You're doing amazing, and I'm proud of you. Little by little is all it takes."
A sob escaped her as she stood with me in her bathroom and cried.
"I love you, okay? We're going to get through this together."
She pulled away and washed her face. I kept my hand on her back. I know that feeling when someone stops touching you and you just feel more alone than ever. It's why I do everything I can do make sure I've always got my hand on her. I imagine she feels alone enough as it is. I want her to always feel me with her.
As soon as she dried her face with a towel, I pulled her in for another tight hug. Tears sprung to my eyes. Sometimes I feel like I need these hugs more than she does.
She pulled away and headed to the door. "Hey, you need your phone or bag?" I asked.
She shook her head. "I just need to disconnect. I just need you."
I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her for a moment. "I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."
I felt her start to cry. "What if you die too?"
"Hey, he's not dead yet and I'm not going anywhere either. It's gonna be okay."
I felt her grip around me tighten as her sobs deepened. "I'm so scared," she whispered.
"I know. It's okay. We don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to."
She pulled away. "I need to get out of here."
I wrapped my arms around her and opened the door. "One step at a time, okay? We can come home whenever you want."
We walked out of her apartment complex and made it to the corner until she started hyperventilating. I tried my best to calm her down, but nothing seemed to help. It was like she couldn't even hear me or feel me.
"Hey, I'm here. It's okay." I pulled her over to the grass on the sidewalk and knelt next to her in the grass. I tried to talk to her and keep her calm but nothing worked, so I just waited it out with her.
At some point, something changed because she stood up and started running. I had to really push myself to keep up with her. At some point we found ourselves at a nearby park.
She ran to an empty area of the park and completely collapsed on her knees and started wailing. I wanted to hold her, but to be honest, I hadn't run in ages and I was straight up wheezing.
———
I didn't even know where Adam was, I was just running from everything until my legs gave out in the middle of the park. No one else was around but I was crying so hard I'm sure nobody even wanted to be nearby.
I was crying so hard and I felt so alone. I'm sure I lost Adam somewhere after running so hard and long. I hadn't meant to, I just had to get away.
I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me in. I could feel his deep breaths as he tried to catch his breath. The fact that he kept up with me at all meant a lot. It meant a lot that he made sure to stay with me.
My wails turned into quiet cries as I held onto Adam. Adam's done everything to be there for me and through his wheezing, I could feel him crying too and I could only imagine the struggle he's having to breathe. And now for the first time, I didn't feel so alone.
———
Adam's POV
I felt like I was gonna die, but I couldn't let her be alone.
I couldn't help myself, every time she cried, I cried too. It frustrated me. After about 20 minutes I caught my breath but my tears came harder. She showed no signs of calming down and neither did I. I felt her tears in my neck and shoulder and mine just seemed to drown me. I cried and kissed her cheek.
"Can we go home?" she asked though her tears. I nodded and stood up with her. She laid her head on my shoulder and I laid my head on hers and wrapped my arm around her as we walked and cried silently.
People stared at us, but honestly I didn't care. All I care about is her.
It took us 20 minutes to walk back to her place, but we never let go of each other. She fumbled with her keys to her door, so I carefully held her hand and guided her until the door was open. We collapsed on the couch, still crying together.
I pulled away to look at her. Her face was completely wet and red. I'm sure mine was too.
I watched as a tear slowly escaped her right eye. I reached up to thumb her tear away and she looked up at me and smiled sadly as she dried all my tears.
After a bit we calmed down. She checked her phone and realized she'd missed a call from the hospital while we were gone.
Last edited by Cryophilia (October 10, 2021 8:19 am)
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