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October 16, 2021 3:09 pm  #1


Age and comforting

So I recently turned 30. Honestly there are a lot of perks to getting older. More stability, more financial freedom, more IDGAF, more sexual opportunities (thanks to Fetlife and this forum and other internet resourceshttps://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/devious.png
) but there’s one downside.

A big part of my fetish involves receiving physical comfort while I’m crying. I love it and need it. It was never difficult to get physical comfort in my teens and 20’s. However, I recently I’ve noticed a significant decline in the number of times someone has spontaneously comforted me with a hug or touch, and it’s kind of depressing. I’ve also noticed that I’ve never been comforted by anyone who was >5 years younger than me. I guess I hate the idea of not being comforted when I’m in my 40’s or 50’s.

To the comforters around here: Do you hug or wipe the tears of people who are older than you, or who outrank you at work? How do you decide when to do it?

To the comfortees: Have you noticed anything similar to this as you got older or advanced in your career, or am I out of my mind?

 

October 16, 2021 4:39 pm  #2


Re: Age and comforting

I'm generally glad to comfort anyone who needs comforting. The thought of anyone going without it is sad to me.


"Bless me now with your fierce tears..."
 

October 17, 2021 1:52 pm  #3


Re: Age and comforting

I can't deny I really love wiping tears from girls between 18-35 but I have wiped tears from women in their late 40's as well, so, being honest, it will definitely be harder to get comfort but not impossible. About the other question, I haven't been in the situation of a woman who outranks me crying in front of me, but in the hypothetical case, I wouldn't mind wiping her tears.

Anyways, be sure I would wipe your tears if I notice you want to have your tears wiped. You know, people sometimes need hints, if you get a hug, rub your cheek against the comforter, feeling your tears on his(her) cheek will give the message that you want the person to take care of your tears (especially if you outrank him(her), that gives permission to do so.

 

October 18, 2021 9:59 am  #4


Re: Age and comforting

Hi everyone, when I was younger I preferred to comfort older women. I'm in my 40s now and I also enjoy comforting younger women. However, I still prefer older women. Perhaps younger people are reluctant to comfort someone who is older. It may be that a standard thought pattern is rooted -> parents comfort the children. -> Older people comfort younger people ... not the other way around. I have no idea but do you know what I mean?

Several times I was able to comfort a woman (she is older than me) to whom I was professionally subordinate. I think it's a situation to be careful with. I have often seen her sad, but for a long time I did not dare to comfort her. Because of her position in the company. It hurt my heart every time I saw her like this and imagined in fantasies how I could be there for her. At some point (after about 2 or 3 years) I just did it and hugged her. I have to say she is a bit of a difficult personality who doesn't show what she needs or doesn't want now. It took a long time before we had a basis of trust (in relation to the feelings. Not the professional things) and I could get through to her.
 This has turned into a very nice friendship.
I could share these situations and fantasies with you here if you wanted to.


I rarely cry myself. Regrettably! But there was a difficult time where I cried for days. I was in my early 40s and was comforted very nicely by my younger friends (including my older friends, of course) and also wiped my tears away or kissed my forehead and cheek. That was very good for me and I would like to have it more often.

 

October 18, 2021 1:31 pm  #5


Re: Age and comforting

@Salt-Treasure so, you have wiped tears from your superior at work? how did she react the first time you did it?

Mind sharing an obs when someone younger wiped and kissed your tears? I can see why you would like to have it more often.

 

October 18, 2021 11:09 pm  #6


Re: Age and comforting

I feel like younger people tend to breakdown more easily and cry in front of others whereas adults tend to keep their sadness to themselves. When I was a teen I’ve seen many of my classmates sob their eyes out over small things in school and that barely ever happens now with my adult friends or coworkers. I remember comforting some friends in school because they got a detention they thought was unfair or blew up an exam, or even if they were just having a bad day, whereas now my coworkers just cry in the bathroom at work when they need to or take some time off to process big things like the loss of a family member then come back perfectly okay and together. So as we get older there’s definitely less opportunities to engage in physical comfort

Last edited by annnna (October 18, 2021 11:10 pm)

 

October 19, 2021 12:14 am  #7


Re: Age and comforting

Salt-Treasure wrote:

Hi everyone, when I was younger I preferred to comfort older women. I'm in my 40s now and I also enjoy comforting younger women. However, I still prefer older women. Perhaps younger people are reluctant to comfort someone who is older. It may be that a standard thought pattern is rooted -> parents comfort the children. -> Older people comfort younger people ... not the other way around. I have no idea but do you know what I mean?

Several times I was able to comfort a woman (she is older than me) to whom I was professionally subordinate. I think it's a situation to be careful with. I have often seen her sad, but for a long time I did not dare to comfort her. Because of her position in the company. It hurt my heart every time I saw her like this and imagined in fantasies how I could be there for her. At some point (after about 2 or 3 years) I just did it and hugged her. I have to say she is a bit of a difficult personality who doesn't show what she needs or doesn't want now. It took a long time before we had a basis of trust (in relation to the feelings. Not the professional things) and I could get through to her.
 This has turned into a very nice friendship.
I could share these situations and fantasies with you here if you wanted to.
.

Yes please! Share these obs!!

annnna wrote:

I feel like younger people tend to breakdown more easily and cry in front of others whereas adults tend to keep their sadness to themselves. When I was a teen I’ve seen many of my classmates sob their eyes out over small things in school and that barely ever happens now with my adult friends or coworkers. I remember comforting some friends in school because they got a detention they thought was unfair or blew up an exam, or even if they were just having a bad day, whereas now my coworkers just cry in the bathroom at work when they need to or take some time off to process big things like the loss of a family member then come back perfectly okay and together. So as we get older there’s definitely less opportunities to engage in physical comfort

Agreed, I've done my share of dumb crying in high school. 

Also, welcome to the forum. Tell us more about yourself, annnna!!!

     Thread Starter
 

October 19, 2021 6:07 am  #8


Re: Age and comforting

Amans lacrimae wrote:

@Salt-Treasure so, you have wiped tears from your superior at work? how did she react the first time you did it?

Mind sharing an obs when someone younger wiped and kissed your tears? I can see why you would like to have it more often.

The first time I wiped away my boss's tears at work, she didn't like it that much. Instead, she hugged me tightly and pressed her face to my chest and I now know that she is uncomfortable when someone wipes away her tears. When she cries I hug her and she breaks down. As I said, a nice friendship developed. Unfortunately we haven't worked together lately. The company had different plans with each of us (which is very annoying). My (now former) boss and I have been through a lot at the company. That welds together. For professional reasons we can't meet so often privately, what a shame.

Personally, I couldn't feel uncomfortable with younger people comforting me. I wish I would break down more often because it's so liberating.

 

October 31, 2021 10:44 pm  #9


Re: Age and comforting

truffle wrote:

So I recently turned 30. Honestly there are a lot of perks to getting older. More stability, more financial freedom, more IDGAF, more sexual opportunities (thanks to Fetlife and this forum and other internet resourceshttps://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/devious.png
) but there’s one downside.

A big part of my fetish involves receiving physical comfort while I’m crying. I love it and need it. It was never difficult to get physical comfort in my teens and 20’s. However, I recently I’ve noticed a significant decline in the number of times someone has spontaneously comforted me with a hug or touch, and it’s kind of depressing. I’ve also noticed that I’ve never been comforted by anyone who was >5 years younger than me. I guess I hate the idea of not being comforted when I’m in my 40’s or 50’s.

To the comforters around here: Do you hug or wipe the tears of people who are older than you, or who outrank you at work? How do you decide when to do it?

To the comfortees: Have you noticed anything similar to this as you got older or advanced in your career, or am I out of my mind?

Honestly, i don’t have the need to comfort someone who is older…like, 5 or more years. It’s weird but i just kinda freeze and have no reaction to them crying (the older the person the less comfortable i am, also for context i’m 23 years old)
As to when i’m the comfortee, i remember only once in the past few years being comforted by my guy best friend who is a year older and i felt more inferior than when a younger person comforts me. So it felt pretty weird when my ex who is 5 years younger comforted me a couple times; in a way, it felt like i was teaching him how to be there for someone which made me feel superior, but since he is a guy and acts tough usually, it made me feel inferior at the same time. So in conclusion i feel the most comfortable comforting and being comforted by someone my age or a year older or younger; feeling too under or above someone just ain’t it.

 

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