This is very much like me (although I have very little sex drive in general, so it's difficult to tell whether I get anything from crying specifically). Feeling the intensity of the other person's emotion is a good way to put it. It's also mostly related to masculine people for me. But, it is still incredibly romantic for me. I usually want to comfort the people I'm dating or have a crush on. 

I have talked with a therapist about this before, but I don't think she understood what I was talking about - she just said it is normal to want to comfort someone you're in a relationship with. I had more luck reading up on my own and reflecting on my childhood. There are a lot of potential reasons why this became important to me. One is that my mother used to tell me that my father (who was abusive) was incapable of feeling real emotions and that when he cried, it was only to manipulate us. So I was forbidden from comforting him. This probably created a lot of pent-up care and concern for crying people, especially men. Also, I was pretty emotionally neglected by my parents. I used to imagine the ways in which I would treat my future partners better than my parents were treating me, and that included listening to their emotions and rescuing them in their times of greatest need. So I think that when I'm comforting someone, I'm sort of also comforting my neglected younger self and making up for what happened to her.

caircair wrote:

I'm the same. Seeing someone (generally a man) crying doesn't make me "hot and bothered", it makes me feel very protective. My urge is to wrap my arms around them and hold them, but not in a sexual way. For me, comforting someone crying is in many ways more satisfying than sex.

 
I couldn't have said it better. I'm not turned on by anyone crying either, rather I get an emotional satisfaction. I too get a strong urge to wrap my arms around them and comfort them.  I prefer to comfort males in general. Doesn't matter if I know them or not I still get the emotional satisfaction; but with females I only get the emotional satisfaction if they are super close to me (relative/friend) not just any random female. Definitely WAY more satisfying than sex.

I am curious, how did the psychologist session go, what did she say about it? Honestly I am not sure if afraid or embarrassed to bring this topic to my psychologist.

In my case I am sure it is a fet, I get extremely turned on by tears, both emotionally and sexually, even though my sexual drive is not normally high, like our dear The Rescuer.

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (May 14, 2022 5:14 pm)