meantangerine wrote:

I don't want to have sex with him right then and there, but I want to comfort him, which is extremely fulfilling for me. If we have sex later, I would use that emotional arousal from earlier to become sexually aroused.

I said "other" also, because it's really hard for me to differentiate between the emotional and sexual aspects of it. Actually, my response is pretty much exactly what Meantangerine said, which is why I quoted those two sentences. For me, the deep, intimate emotional connection triggers the sexual arousal. I think. It's hard to tell EXACTLY, because the feelings are completely intertwined.

While I do love the purely physical aspects of crying, that part of my fetish definitely followed the comforting part of the fetish. When I was younger, it was really mostly about the comforting, but that grew into something broader that now encompasses the physical aspects as well. So, basically, the core of my fetish is emotional, but that immediately translates into something sexual.

I said mostly emotional, simply because I agree with Meantangarine - it's much more about the comforting than the sexual aspect, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't use the memory of that comforting to become aroused down the road. 

As for physical manifestations, for me it's all about "honesty".  My fetish is mostly tv and movie based, so when there's a crying scene I begin by going into "critic" mode.  If the scene doesn't ring true, if I can tell the actor is clearly faking and doing a bad job of it at that, then I go into a remote unemotional place.  However, if the scene is realistic, my "comfort" trigger is engaged and I feel more fulfilled.

So I can't say it is entirely non-sexual as I only seem to be drawn to it when the one crying is a young, attractive male.  However, that being said, them crying doesn't sexually arouse me, it gives me an extremely strong desire to comfort them and take care of them, but doesn't do much for me sexually in the moment.  Again, really only interested when it is a young attractive male, however, not really sexual in nature.  I also don't use these moments or scenes from tv or movies to become sexually aroused in the future.

Last edited by yellowrose (December 4, 2012 11:29 pm)

I find the question is somewhat open to interpretation.  To me, it doesn't seem as simple as answering which flavor of ice cream tastes better, for example, because even if the two tasted equally good, the flavors aren't intertwined like my sexuality is with my emotions!  Hmmm, unless it's soft serve chocolate-vanilla swirl?  Maybe my fetish is like a swirly ice cream.  I can't separate the sexual from the emotional without making a big mess and destroying it?   I dunno.

I do think there's probably a way of asking the question that can "force" an answer in one direction or the other, but unfortunately, I don't know what that rephrasing would look like!

I did a forced-answer poll of my own once, which basically asked, if you had to make a choice (with all other things being equal), would you choose a sexless romantic relationship where you got to see lots of crying from your partner, or a sexual romantic relationship with a partner who practically never cried.  I allowed kissing and hugging in the "sexless" relationship, but the only thing that was allowed 'below the belt' was masturbation.  I found the answers interesting:

http://cryinglovers.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?id=271