- SomeoneG1
- Full Member
Offline - Registered: April 22, 2012
- Posts: 58
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
I'm a virgin, so it's hard to say if I am sexually aroused by crying or If I just really enjoy the comforting, or both. But I voted that it was more emotion than sexual
I'm straight, but my fetish was born from a desire to connect with same sex my best friend on a deeper level 5 years ago. We are still best friends, I still have not seen her cry, but I get an all over good feeling when ever she gets close.
When I seek it out, I normally seek out tv females who have a reserved personalilty and keep their emotions to themselves, I have to know and like the charater or I won't care about the crying.
“...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning
- woundedpuppy
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- Posts: 554
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
I keep thinking about this thread! I wonder which hormone (if it's caused by a hormone) causes that warm, heart racing, full body BUZZ feeling I get when a cute guy (especially one I know and like) gets all vulnerable! If it's caused by an increased surge in estrogen and/or testosterone, then to me, that would be proof that it is a sexual response (even if there is no involvement in the sexual regions of the body), but if it's caused by oxytocin (the human bonding hormone) or something along those lines, then my fetish is definitely more emotional than sexual (with a sexual component that comes along for the ride as a sort of bonus).
In fact, I would argue that the hormone involved (if there is one) is what defines whether the response is sexual or not, not the person's own experience or perception of whether they are being turned on. It is an involuntary chemical reaction! Wow, if only one of us could be studied while we were enjoying a crying clip! Preferably one of us who doesn't get sexually aroused so that we could test the purity of the response (there are at least a few members who don't!) and then at least one of us who does get turned on. And study both male and female, of course. It would be so neat to determine which hormone is suddenly going haywire (if it's a hormone) and then whether there are different hormones involved in different people and that's why they have different responses and experiences with crying material, or whether it's just different amounts (different ranges) of the same hormones in everybody.
Then, of course, it would be neat to contrast that with the majority of the population -- those who don't bother to seek out crying clips, pics, stories, and would find our whole interest a bit odd or freaky. What, scientifically speaking, does our forum population have in us that these folks don't that makes us enjoy it so much? What happens to us?
- yellowrose
- Great One
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- Registered: March 14, 2012
- Posts: 311
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
Now that is some clinical research I could really enjoy doing! ...maybe when I get to be an attending
"...men do not cry. They will do anything BUT cry. They stop themselves crying. And eventually they do cry if it is bad enough. So that's how you know with a man how bad it is for him. Because he would've stopped himself...Men always cry like that. They don't cry and in the end they do and if they do then it's overwhelming." ~Michael Caine
- woundedpuppy
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- Posts: 554
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
yellowrose wrote:
Now that is some clinical research I could really enjoy doing! ...maybe when I get to be an attending
I will be the first to submit myself for testing... 
Just came across this ad while researching oxytocin. Oxytocin is often mentioned in relation to crying and empathy, but this is a totally different take on it and hilarious to me.
Hehe... good luck, boys! So they say it increases a woman's testosterone levels and also requires estrogen to activate... interesting.
- lemoniep
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- Registered: October 31, 2011
- Posts: 61
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
I keep thinking about this thread!
This is definitely something I think about a lot - why do we feel different sexual things differently? Is there such a thing as an 'emotional fetish', or is what I feel just a weaker kind of fetish but with odd feelings attached? Why do I have this reaction? Why don't I have this reaction to normal sexual stimuli? The whole thing is enormously frustrating.
- tearhunter
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- Posts: 503
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
Reading back through these post is fasinating and woundedpuppy sums it up very well - I get the impression that for most of the women on this forum the enjoyment of crying is a mental rather than a physical experience. Although it can turn you on and some of you use these feelings to go further and masterbate and get physically aroused many of you seem happy with the mental comforting thoughs.
My thoughts are that this appears to mirror women when it comes to regular sex. If you phyically masterbate a guy he will almost always orgasm eventully even if he was not initially in the mood, so it a very physical reaction. But the same will not work for a woman, if her mind is not in the right place physical contact will not make her orgasm.
So, its no surprise that women say crying in not sexual where as guys say it is sexual.
Throwing a kind of related question into the ring - if you were in the throws of very good, very passionate love making and your partner started to cry would this intensify your sexual arousal or diminish it - i.e. would you be more or less likely to orgasm?
For me making love to my wife while she was crying as utterly amazing - I had a full on massive orgasm
Quickly add that I knew why she was crying and she was just emotional (it was our wedding night) - in the question above please consider your partners crying in the same way.
- punkchick
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- Posts: 102
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
For me it's definitely more emotional than sexual. It's only really sexual at all in people I'm really attracted to, like my boyfriend, and even then I don't think I would be thinking about this side of it much while I was comforting him unless it made sense within the situation. For example, he once kissed me while I was crying because the reason I was upset was him leaving on a deployment. After that, I realized how amazingly hot it would be to me to kiss him while he was crying, but the kissing would definitely have to make sense within the situation, as it did for me. If he was distraught about something and kissing him didn't seem like it would help or be relevant to the situation, it probably wouldn't even occur to me.
If I knew for a fact that the reason my partner was crying was positive emotion about our relationship, I would definitely be really into it. Otherwise, I might still be aroused by it, but my concern for him would definitely override that and I would express concern for him, etc. Actually, even though we would probably stop having sex/making out/whatever at that point and turn our attention to whatever made him cry, I think the act of being in such an intimate activity when he starts would make the comforting experience more pleasurable for me, both in physical and emotional ways, regardless of whether or not we could keep going. If we did stop, the physically intimate setting would lead directly into me offering the most physically intimate forms of comfort (holding him, kissing his cheeks/head, etc.), whereas in normal situations the progress to that point might be slower, depending on how suddenly he loses control.
All in all, however, you have to look at the fact that sex is even an emotional experience for me. Even when I don't orgasm, I still feel really fulfilled simply because of the emotional intimacy that it represents between myself and my boyfriend. Therefore, even when crying is sexual for me, you have to consider how much sexual desires are based on emotional needs rather than simply the need for physical pleasure. I honestly don't know where the line lies for me, but because I can enjoy crying for 100% emotional reasons as well as for "sexual" reasons of mixed or unclear cause, I would say definititively that the fetish is more but not entirely emotional for me.
- woundedpuppy
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Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
I get the impression that for most of the women on this forum the enjoyment of crying is a mental rather than a physical experience.
My thoughts are that this appears to mirror women when it comes to regular sex.
Really excellent point, Tearhunter! I was hoping you'd chime in, as I know you're interested in the scientific aspects of crying too.
So, its no surprise that women say crying is not sexual where as guys say it is sexual.
Really, I think all we need is an fMRI machine and a few crying fetishists (including both males and females) to see which regions of their brains light up when they start thinking about crying (plus some non-fetishists). That will tell us what's going on. I mean, how hard could that be to set up, right? 
In answer to your question, if a guy cried because he loved me sooo much that he could no longer suppress his emotions while we were having sex, then yes, in me, this should intensify the arousal. I would think to myself, wow, what a sweet, sensitive, vulnerable guy. His tears would be an extension of the expression of love and the vulnerability would be there as well. I would love to have a guy look me in the eye and say... "*sniff*... This is what you do to me... I can't even help it... *sniff*" as happy tears streamed down his cheeks. And of course, as I don't feel guilty about pushing people's happy buttons, I would milk it for all it was worth. 
I love guys who are really deep... 
Hmmm, maybe my next fic is going to be about two people who love each other so much that they make each other cry because of it...
Last edited by woundedpuppy (March 28, 2013 1:09 am)
- meantangerine
- Great One
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- From: New York
- Registered: July 29, 2011
- Posts: 418
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
My thoughts are that this appears to mirror women when it comes to regular sex. If you phyically masterbate a guy he will almost always orgasm eventully even if he was not initially in the mood, so it a very physical reaction. But the same will not work for a woman, if her mind is not in the right place physical contact will not make her orgasm.
Ain't it the truth. This is actually really frustrating for me, because it's so hard for me to explain to a guy, "sorry, it's not you, i'm just not in the mood for an orgasm."
Throwing a kind of related question into the ring - if you were in the throws of very good, very passionate love making and your partner started to cry would this intensify your sexual arousal or diminish it - i.e. would you be more or less likely to orgasm?
This is where I think I differ from a lot of people here, because in a lot of ways I'm MORE interested in crying than in sex. The answer is yes, I'd be hugely turned on, but at the same time I'd want to stop having sex because it's distracting. What the heck is wrong with me?
And because I don't think I've answered this question on the thread, I do masturbate to thoughts, videos, images, sounds, descriptions of, statistics about crying. Exclusively.
It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
- woundedpuppy
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- Posts: 554
Re: How much is your fetish sexual?
This is where I think I differ from a lot of people here, because in a lot of ways I'm MORE interested in crying than in sex. The answer is yes, I'd be hugely turned on, but at the same time I'd want to stop having sex because it's distracting. What the heck is wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you, or else there's something REALLY wrong with me, since I'm one of the ONLY people who answered in a poll that I'd actually choose to have a crying guy in my life over having a normal sex life (if I were only allowed to have one or the other and not both). Though I do need hugging and kissing, which I'll admit are kinda sexual for me. But the more obvious body parts that we normally associate with sex distract away from the interesting part (the crying)... I agree about that.
Last edited by woundedpuppy (March 29, 2013 12:26 pm)