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Today my class and I went to the museum to display the works there. And I arrived already looking for the boy I like
CLARIFICATION: The person I like was born female but identifies as non-binary and prefers to be called by masculine pronouns, so I will refer to him as "him."
That said, today I was there at the museum waiting for it to open and also waiting for it. Until the museum opened and after a few seconds he enters, and I see him with a crying face heading to a corner isolated from the other people. I went to say hi to him and he told me he wanted to be alone. Being curious and at the same time wanting to be respectful, I chose to leave him alone, but I was still relatively close to him, but he went to the other side of the courtyard (which wasn't big) and I followed. And in the other corner, he found a girl he almost never talks to (I'm basically one of his best friends) and he hugged her and just broke down there. He started sobbing and I was just there watching. When the hug ended, I'm sure I could see a tear on his face, but for a VERY SHORT time, as he already wiped it away: /
I even tried asking "do you want a hug?" but he refused, and while they were explaining the rules of the museum the only thing I could do was look at him from time to time to see if I could find tears on his face, but I couldn't see anything, until we entered the museum but we were in sectors separated, so I just sent a message "if you want to talk to me, I'm here", but he pretended I wasn't there. I had to leave while our friend explained that he could be a little difficult sometimes. I had to spend the next THREE HOURS without hearing from him. Until my mother managed to find out the reason from his mother (which doesn't interest us, we are only interested in the crying). But when he left he was already smiling and when he left he was even a little rude, saying that when he wanted a hug from me he would ask for it. He tried not to be rude, but he was. He was going home and so was I, so we went our separate ways. Unfortunately, it wasn't this time that I could see tears falling from his face. Of the 5 times I saw him cry, I couldn't do it NONE of the time. This is because I think he doesn't trust me enough to tell me his problems, but he goes and talks to people he doesn't even talk to properly. If he told me what was happening (perhaps in a more private place with few people), it was more likely that while he was telling me, he would start crying more, and then I could hold both of his hands as if we were walking down the street . That way I would find it more difficult for him to dry his tears. But anyway, if I manage to date him, first he would have to break up with his current partner, and if that happens, I'll be the first to try to console him when I find out, and if we're alone I'll try to do what I said before, and who knows, kiss him? And if we date, the likelihood of him crying in front of me is MUCH higher. But on Wednesday we're going to the cinema just the two of us (I think), but as he's dating, I'm not going to take any action yet, but the film isn't about drama or anything that makes him cry, it's FNAF, so it's going to get more difficult. But anyway, sorry for the long text, if you have any tips for me to gain his trust so he can cry in front of me or tips for him to date me, feel free to comment here. Anyway, thanks for reading.
Last edited by Oriass (November 19, 2023 5:32 am)
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My tip is counterintuitive: give him more space. If he says he wants to be alone, don't follow him or text him. If he wants to include text silence in his alone time, respect that. If he doesn't want a hug, don't keep asking him if he wants one.
I've had a crush on one of my guy friends and I did the following from a distance thing. I thought I was being subtle, but people notice these things and it makes them feel weird. He and other friends could see I was being weird, and everyone knew I had feelings for him.
I wanna say this as gently as I can: it sounds like, even though you may not mean it this way, your behaviour and attitudes about him may come across as pushy, and he may be picking up on the fact that you aren't interested in the reason for his tears.
My friends came to me gently letting me know I was being weird following my guy friend. I started treating him like I'd want guy friends with unrequited feelings for me to treat me. We are friends to this day over ten years later.
Hope this helps, and comes across gently and non-judgy.
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PhoebeOnThePhone wrote:
My tip is counterintuitive: give him more space. If he says he wants to be alone, don't follow him or text him. If he wants to include text silence in his alone time, respect that. If he doesn't want a hug, don't keep asking him if he wants one.
I've had a crush on one of my guy friends and I did the following from a distance thing. I thought I was being subtle, but people notice these things and it makes them feel weird. He and other friends could see I was being weird, and everyone knew I had feelings for him.
I wanna say this as gently as I can: it sounds like, even though you may not mean it this way, your behaviour and attitudes about him may come across as pushy, and he may be picking up on the fact that you aren't interested in the reason for his tears.
My friends came to me gently letting me know I was being weird following my guy friend. I started treating him like I'd want guy friends with unrequited feelings for me to treat me. We are friends to this day over ten years later.
Hope this helps, and comes across gently and non-judgy.
In fact, I care about him, so I'm interested in knowing why he's bad. And I "take advantage" of this so I can get closer and see him cry. He's my friend, so I'm going to worry about him and I'm going to try to help, and I'm also curious, so there are these two factors.