Hey friends. It's been a minute. Last time I posted on here was the last night I drank. I haven't since, and don't plan to again. I say that to be transparent. To be vulnerable with you people that I really don't know- but it would feel odd not to, when we all share in this somewhat taboo, vulnerable thing.

I am doing okay. I think there is hope on the horizon. But I know that I am not the only one on here going through something. Almost everyone I know in real life is going through this secret hell they keep all to themselves until they can't anymore.  Maybe thats just part of growing up. I think that was one of the things that made it so easy to numb myself into obvlivion: we never really talk. Not about real shit. Certainly not with strangers.

I grew up religious. I'm not anymore. But I remember church being somewhere where people DID talk about their hurt and their pain. And they do at AA, NA, all the anonymous kind of groups. Is it odd to you at all that we don't really talk to one another otherwise? I mean, isn't the struggle, the pain of our lives, and fuck, the grief, some of the strongest connecting threads we share?

So anyway. Yadayadayada. I figured maybe we could all use a space to vent. So vent away. And no, I'm not posting this to hear your self-observations about crying, although if that feel relevant, go ahead. I'm posting this because a month ago I felt so alone, and now I don't, and I just want anyone who may be on here feeling that way to know that they have a place to convene with other people who feel the same.

All the love, and don't drink your pain away,

Cas