Definitely have been trying to do that. I think there are a number of issues that I'm trying to break through. For one her family considers emotions to be weakness, for two she knows about my kink, so she thinks I just want it for me and I'm weird, and for three, because of her family her emotions come out in anger instead of how most women do. I'm trying to figure out how to redirect it.

One of my sisters used to be like this. She defaulted to anger or withdrawal when her emotions built up. She considered crying to be a big deal that would ruin her day and ruin her mood, not something that could help make her feel better and help her move on with her life. I don’t know why she is like this (the rest of us aren’t) but I can tell you a few things that helped her snap out of it.

The first thing we did (when her behavior was getting to be unacceptable) was to really decrease her stress. My husband, my other sister and her husband, all banded together to get her house in order, support her in a legal issue she was dealing with regarding her university degree, and get a couple of her health issues taken care of. We got her established with a therapist (which she resisted for a long time but eventually relented). Her first cry ended up being loud and shouty and unpleasant and she withdrew a bit afterwards, but it was a step in the right direction.  

The second thing that helped was psychological safety and community. For us, that was getting back to spirituality and religious services (which may or may not be right for you). Our particular place of worship really is a safe space for emotions and I think it helped for her to feel that community. It helped her to see people cry during the service and then casually socialize afterward. On her sixth service at this place of worship, she cried for a full 5 minutes. The experience was overwhelming for her and she wanted to leave immediately afterward, but after a few more months of this, she realized how nonjudgmental this place was, and she became much more comfortable. After that, for a few months, she would ONLY cry at the place of worship but nowhere else. 

After that we lived apart again, she got married, and I’m not sure exactly what her husband has been doing for her but I think he must have been very accepting of all of her emotions. In the last few years, when we have seen each other or talked over FaceTime, I have noticed a clear change. Situations where she would have previously reacted with anger or withdrawal, she will now stay in the moment, cry and share and talk.

I wonder, do you get emotional in front of her? Do you think it would help if you cried in front of her? There were situations where my sister only opened up after I started crying myself.