(I'm female)
1. For someone I don't know very well, I'd prefer to cry in front of a woman. But for people closer to me, I'd much much rather a man. It's weird, I can't stand the thought of crying in front of my female friends, I'd much prefer a boyfriend or male friend.
2. I would be quite embarrassed, although MUCH more so in a professional environment than in therapy or in front of a doctor, or something like that where it's almost expected. If I felt like I was going to cry at work, I would just remove myself from the situation as quickly as possible.
3. I would fight the tears, or at least try to keep them from falling and really fight to keep my voice normal (which I'm good at). Then, once I could be alone, I'd really let it out.
4. I'd maybe take one breath, try to continue talking or doing whatever I was doing, avoid eye contact as much as possible, and if I absolutely couldn't keep the tears from falling, I'd wipe them.
5. If it wasn't someone I knew well, I'd prefer to be comforted with words. Maybe a pat on the shoulder would be okay at the end. Really, even thinking about all this makes me super uncomfortable, since I REALLY try to stay in control with myself.

Female
1. Neither. I don't think I really have a preference when it comes to professionals.  

2. I would be quite embarrassed, though probably wouldn't apologize. I'd try to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. 

3. I would definitely try to stop myself.

4. I tend to have trouble speaking, so I suppose I'd try to take a moment to get myself back together before speaking again.

5. I might appreciate some kind words, but in most cases I would definitely lash out. 

Welcome to the forum, Luckywolf13!  Great way to introduce yourself.  
 

luckywolf13 wrote:

woundedpuppy wrote:

Welcome to the forum, Luckywolf13!  Great way to introduce yourself.  
 

Thanks, Woundedpuppy! It's great to find a place full of people I can relate to!  

What sort of crying are you into?  Like, are you into male or female?  What do you like about crying?  Sights, sounds, vulnerability, comforting, something else?  When did you discover your fetish?

Just some standard newbie questions I like to ask.   It's great that you feel you can relate to people here.
 

1. Would you prefer to cry in front of some of the same sex or opposite sex? (Let me know if you are male or female)

In general, I would strongly prefer female.  I tend to worry that a man might think I was being an "overly emotional woman" or whatever.  Even though I don't think most men would actually think that, and when I've started crying in front of men, they've generally reacted with as much kindness and understanding (if not more) than women, it's kind of a fear of mine.  I think it may have something to do with being heterosexual and not wanting to turn a member of the opposite sex off!  I would care less about crying in front of a man if he was significantly older than me/completely unattractive to me.  However, if it's someone I've known for years and trust deeply - gender doesn't matter to me one jot. 

2. Would you be embarrased about your crying, even though you feel your emotions are justified? Would you apologise for crying? Attempt to flee the situation?

Would probably be mildly embarrassed about crying.  I've seen a counselor (female) for about eight years, and I still occasionally get embarrassed about crying in front of her!  I would not apologize or flee, however.

3. Would you allow yourself to cry or would you fight to stop yourself as soon as possible?

Would probably allow myself to cry, as sometimes I find that trying to stop makes the problem worse!

4. How would you react to any tears or other crying characteristics (i.e. wobbly voice, bulging lip etc)?

Wobbly voice while crying bothers me - if it was easier to talk and cry at the same time, I would barely mind crying during a counseling session at all.  I do try to contol the wobbly voice as best I can.  I also get a runny nose when I cry easily, which is frustrating under certain circumstances. There's usually tissues available during counseling, so it's not a major problem, but I will have to pause to blow my nose every so often.  I do tend to wipe/brush tears away pretty quickly, even when I'm alone...I don't like the sensation of having a soggy face, it makes me feel worse for some reason I can't fully explain.

5. How would you like the other person to react? (ignore your crying, offer a tissue, hold your hand, give you a comforting hug etc).

During counseling it's nice when the other party to responds verbally, as woundedpuppy said earlier, something like, "that must have been so difficult".  I don't think counselors have actually offered me tissues very often - I seem to recall hearing that they maybe encouraged not to offer tissues very often, as it can interefere with the expression of emotion.  Usually, there's a box withing my reach and I grab my own tissues.

In general, I like, even love, being offered tissues when I cry.  I don't usually worry that people are offering them to me because I'm being a messy crier, so long as they do it in a nice way.  A gentle "would you like a tissue?' or a silent passing of the box is fine, and actually sometimes makes me feel better - I know the other person has seen my tears and they're trying to offer me a small measure of comfort.  But if they hand over the tissues really fast it almost seems like they want you to hurry up and stop crying, which isn't comforting and makes me feel self-concious.

Comforting hug or hand on the shoulder might be okay depending on how long I've known the person.  Again, in general, counselors are encouraged not to touch the patient as it can interefere with the expression of emotion.  Also, professional boundaries usually prevent a doctor from offering physical affection.

Last edited by thedreamer (January 31, 2013 7:38 am)