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April 12, 2013 1:56 pm  #1


I cried in the bathtub

I received a bad news today while i was having a bath, they refused me a job and after the phone call i felt very defeated. I was nervous at first and i dived in the water and after a few minutes i started sobbing, i couldn't feel the tears running down  because my face was all soaked but i got a running nose after a while i rose to see my face in the mirror.. My eyes were very red and blurry and my upper lip some sort of swollen. the signs of crying withdrew after i dried up but i'm still very sad..I tried so hard to pass the interviews and exams  for a couple of job offers and though i passed them just at the final step i was rejected by the managers. It's an awfull feeling...I feel totally impotent without a place of work...


''I like crying. And now I not only wanna cry and show my crying to other people, I wanna just split myself down the middle and open my guts and just throw everything out!''
Woody Harrelson
 

April 12, 2013 4:11 pm  #2


Re: I cried in the bathtub

I'm sorry you didn't get the job you were hoping to get. I hope things start looking up for you soon!

 

April 12, 2013 4:20 pm  #3


Re: I cried in the bathtub

I hope soo too carrotcake. Thanks for enrouraging me !


''I like crying. And now I not only wanna cry and show my crying to other people, I wanna just split myself down the middle and open my guts and just throw everything out!''
Woody Harrelson
     Thread Starter
 

April 12, 2013 7:31 pm  #4


Re: I cried in the bathtub

Been there, more times than I want to count.  Just keep putting yourself out there, you'll find something.

Meanwhile, have you tried temping?  When I was out of work I signed up with quite a few temp agencies, as it happened there have been quite a few times when I was either out on a long-term assignment, or where the assignment turned into a permanent job.  In fact, that's how I got into the job I'm at now.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

April 12, 2013 8:22 pm  #5


Re: I cried in the bathtub

Are you refering to freelacer's jobs? I understand temping as a temporary job or  is it voluntary work?.. I looked  this term up in a dictionary since i'm not a native speaker. I tried to get hired as an analyst, counselor, call center operator, editor, translator. I graduated Foreign Languages ( English and Russian ) and i'm a philologist but i don't like teaching and during college i didn't like certain disciplines such as Generative Grammar, Essay Writing and Russian was very hard to learn and i don't like it. Those are good for a scholar or a writer and i cannot live by writing in my country, nobody reads books anymore and academic work is boring and very poorly paid. I'm fond of astrology and i'm a professional astrologer and fortune teller but in order to do good readings i need a well structured website and for that i need to earn some money all by myself. I cannot force my parents to help me more since they don't have enough funds and they already supported me in too many endeavours since now..

Last edited by psychic_girl (April 12, 2013 8:25 pm)


''I like crying. And now I not only wanna cry and show my crying to other people, I wanna just split myself down the middle and open my guts and just throw everything out!''
Woody Harrelson
     Thread Starter
 

April 12, 2013 9:58 pm  #6


Re: I cried in the bathtub

Sorry, temping is working a temporary job.  Here in the US there are agencies that will match people to employers who need temporary employees.  Assignments can be for only a day, a week, or even longer - I had one that lasted two months, one that lasted a year, and, as I mentioned, a couple where I was hired when the temporary job ended.  I don't know if they have such things where you live, but if they do I'd suggest at least checking them out. 

One thing I liked about doing temp work was that it gave me the chance to see what kinds of environments and fields I enjoyed working in.  I've found I do best in a medium-sized office and work best with minimal supervision.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

April 12, 2013 10:14 pm  #7


Re: I cried in the bathtub

Crying out of a feeling of rejection is tough, especially when you think you deserve the job!  But the way I look at it for myself is that I shouldn't need the approval of others to know my own worth.  When my job was basically my "identity" and I no longer had a job, I felt crushed -- like I had lost a piece of myself.  I realized just how scary that feeling was and thought, how dare I depend on someone hiring me to feel like I had purpose in this world.  So I learned to completely separate "myself" from my "work" years ago, for survival.  Emotional survival, that is.  But yes, you do need money to survive!  

I wish you luck in getting something soon!  Temp agencies where I live (or staffing agencies, or employment agencies) are kind of like applying to a whole bunch of places at once, except you are just applying to the agency itself -- one resume!  The agency calls you when a job comes up that you're suitable for and then they send you out on an "assignment".   You could be placed at any number of types of workplaces in your area.  The agency is paid by the workplace (employer) and then the agency pays you directly (after taking out some commission from your check).  In spite of them taking a cut of the pay, I still found that I was well paid when I temped, and best of all, I didn't have to send out a bunch of resumes (and keep following up with employers, and going through all their hoops, etc.) to find work!  Some "assignments" are long and eventually lead to a permanent job.  Others are short and specific.  The great thing is, no matter what, you're not tied down.  But, I was doing pretty lame work.  Generic office work and that kind of thing.  Still, it helped pay the bills.

*Edit - Ah, I see Caircair already explained the temp thing.

Last edited by woundedpuppy (April 12, 2013 10:16 pm)

 

April 12, 2013 11:51 pm  #8


Re: I cried in the bathtub

Thank you for clarifying, both of you , i had such a job 2 weeks ago i was paid per day, i was a phone operator, calling people at home to answer questions for some surveys. I used to have a flexible schedule and i enjoyed it a bit but my mom kept telling me that they won't pay me or that the salary will be insignificant at the end of the month since there were days when you could do only 2 surveys and rare ones when you could reach 10-12.

Some employers told me that some days they call and no one anwers but overall it was acceptable as a temporary job..I'm pretty sad i overlooked it in order to present myself to various interviews to greater companies in the spirit that i will keep up with their hoops. I finished by being rejected ..

Woundedpupuppy i have mixed feelings about it, on one hand the job that i lost fit with what i could handle, it was about moderating reviews on a travel site in French  and English.
It was consistent with what i've been taught previously unlike other companies that were more IT or marketing oriented. And i passed the first written tests, then the interviews with the agency and the last step was the interviews with their clients who are foreigners. They declined and it was very unexpected, i didn't know why and that's why i was crying, i was even surprised by my own disappointment because a week ago i would have taken it lighter if had it happened, i knew they could be fussy. But this time i let my guard down, i even came up late to the interview ( 10 minutes or so) and i overestimated my  language abilities in front of the employers who are natives. I must have been really nuts to do such a thing and if i cry is because i'm more aware now, i'm embaressed and it hurts. It all came to my conscience when i was washing my hair since i reached for the mobile while being in the bathtub..It was very funny because i had such a shock that i almost dropped the phone )

I certainly had to do with the bath too, the water and the fact of being naked in there contribued to my breakdown and to that painfull realisation. I woudn't have shed a tear if i had received the bad news while smoking and musing out of the window or while strolling in the parc..I guess it was about cleansing and i really needed both literally and metaphorically...
I guess people really cry because at times they don't quite accept the irony of their behaviour, their inner contraditions and the flaws, some minor things that are tremendous turn points at specific times. I, for example,  had always considered that vanity it's not the major flaw in my character, or one of the greatest things that made my life a hell. I could have always said it's the laziness, the dreaminess, the guilibility that put me in difficulty, never the vanity..but vanity is so great that blinds me to everyting around and when i suffer and i cry my eyes out i start to see the ugly face of this monster...

Last edited by psychic_girl (April 12, 2013 11:56 pm)


''I like crying. And now I not only wanna cry and show my crying to other people, I wanna just split myself down the middle and open my guts and just throw everything out!''
Woody Harrelson
     Thread Starter
 

April 13, 2013 5:08 pm  #9


Re: I cried in the bathtub

"my upper lip some sort of swollen"

And what about your lower lip?


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

April 13, 2013 7:08 pm  #10


Re: I cried in the bathtub



Keep your chin up, psychic_girl! I'm going through the same thing now since I'm about to graduate from college. Just know that you're awesome and if the employers don't see that, it's their problem. Keep looking, keep sending out applications, make follow-up phone calls if you don't hear back. Be assertive, ask questions, talk about your qualifications and achievements. It's tough out there, but I know you can do it.


It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
 

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