tearhunter, I feel sorry for you, having a father with Asperger! Is it part of your fetish?
My mom didn't react at all. The therapist put my father in charge to look for her and I had 2 counceling sessions with a different therapist who told me that it is ok to give over the responsability for  my mother to my father. I started living my own life and moved in with my boyfriend. I am glad I am a happy personality. Until now the subject it tabu between my mother and me. At some point you just move on in your life and leave certain things behind you. Our children like their grandmother, she even looks for them half a day per week, but I don't want her to do more with them because I fear she shows the same attitude towards them.
So, I guess my fetish started partly because of my situation during my childhood. The First time I remember I was arrowsed by crying was when I was 12. My teacher asked my if I cried reading the book brothers lionhearts from Astrid Lindgren