tearhunter wrote:

It's a well known and widely acknowledge fact that women general cry far more than men. So in a female-female relationship crying is potentially going to feature quite a lot - I'm guessing fairly quickly into any relationship both individuals are going to see each other in tears. As well as being more emotional women tend to be more visual when they cry - tears tend to flow more - they tend to be more comforting than guys and are more likely to starting crying alongside their partner. I'm assuming they might become quite intimate with a crying partner - wiping / kissing the persons tears etc. This all seams like a very powerful bond could be built in this type of relationship - that's before any crying fetish tendency's where thrown into the mix!.

I'm not sure if you were talking about me. But I qualify. I'm from a culture that looks down on this so much that I feel so lucky to have found my girlfriend when I did.

Crying is our safe place. It has to be. She almost always starts crying within thirty seconds of the start of any argument or serious conversation with me. At the end of our arguments we're both giggling, teary messes with a pile of tissues between us. I'm the empathetic crier. We have a tacit agreement not to yell when we're angry with each other. So we end up crying instead.

As far as comforting goes, usually I first try to make her laugh when she's sad. That tends to lighten the mood a little and, even though it doesn't always stop her tears, she's not as sad. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm more likely to start crying with her if she's really sad. For example, a couple of days ago, we were lying in bed and she was becoming upset about not being invited to her older brother's housewarming party. She stopped talking and I started to feel wetness on my left shoulder, obviously tears because I could feel her eyelashes tickling me. I told her to stop drooling on me. Instant giggles, and the lump in my throat went away too. After that, we talked through the issues that were bothering her, and eventually I convinced her to call her brother and work this out. She did this, and talked on the phone with her brother for a half hour. At this point we were sitting up a bit, with her to my left and the back of her head on my left chest. At the end of the call she cried briefly again, and I wiped four big tears from her right cheek. And one from mine. We went to bed happy.

When I'm really upset, she will hug me really tight and talk with me as long as I need. She has empathetically teared up a few times while comforting me, but she has never properly wept solely because of seeing me cry. She'll let me cry into her shoulder, but she generally doesn't proactively wipe my tears.

As far as the fetish goes, I'm not sure how sexual this is for me. My preferences are really similar to yours, tearhunter. So similar that it's eerie. I first told her about it when she unexpectedly asked. She was crying her way through the final Harry Potter book. Quietly. She hadn't gotten to the really sad part yet. She looked so cute I plopped down next to her and lightly kissed her tearstained cheek. She was startled and said something along the lines of "ewwww why would you do that?" I told her she looked beautiful with tears rolling down her face. She closed the book, blew her nose, dried her face, took a deep breath and said obviously we needed to talk. So I told her exactly what my "fetish" entailed. Long story short, she was happy that I found her to be pretty when she thought she was at her ugliest.

I'm not sure what you mean by "kissing the person's tears." If she starts to cry during casual romantic conversation with me, or during a movie, I'll wipe away the actual teardrop once it gets to her chin or jawline, then I might kiss her wet cheek. I'd be cautious when doing this, though. Last year, when she had the flu, I came to visit her. Tried to keep my distance because we both knew at that time I could not afford to get sick. As I was about to leave, we cried. I kissed her cheek once, instinctively. I was sick within 4 hours. Worth it, but like I said, be careful. She doesn't like me to kiss her lips while she's crying, because of her intense BLT.

I don't know what else to say. Sorry for putting so many observations in this post, but I have tons of these observations and most of the people on this forum want only male observations. Don't worry, we're actually really happy. We only cry like this when we are alone; normally, day to day, I don't cry at work or in public. Neither does she, really.

Last edited by truffle (April 7, 2014 11:48 pm)

Your relationship sounds so beautifull that i can't find my words, Truffle. You have to understand that very few people are so empathetic and free about their teary intimate moments. I'm happy to know that such relationships actually exist since i have myself bouts of depression when i doubt about the nature of emotional relationships and wonder if i will ever get to live such moments with a significant other...

Yeah, I guess there is probably couples at either end of the spectrum and I shouldn't generalise but I think I prefer the sound of your relationship than one where emotion and tears don't play as important a role.

I think you have an amazing relationship - I would love to be a fly on the wall when you guys tear up

It's great that after telling her about your crying fetish she allows her tears to be more visible and allows them to flow down her cheeks. I good sign she is very comfortable showing emotions.

Thanks for posting such a detailed and wonderful insight into your relationship.

Can tell you about male homosexual relationships: I have some friends. There is especially one, who takes the female part who cried in front of his partner. The one crying said he just can't hold back the tears and the otherone hates it. I once witnessed such a scene. I guess in a homosexual relationship there is always one more male and one more female and the female takes the crying part (that seems very traditional and general). Another example is another gay friend of mine: when ever I need sb to talk to about serious things that happen during work I ask him. I am not the crying typ, so I never cried in front of him but we had several talks about tears. In my experience gay people tend to cry more openly, maybe i just tend to Talk more to the sensitive guys, you know the reason why

meantangerine, your are right. I didn't express it correctly. My one friend I was talking a lot, about same sex relationship, told me about the pressure staying together with a friend. It seemed like homosexual couples tend to split up more often, maybe because they don't "build a family". Maybe it was also because my friend is quite young and also opposite sex relationsships in younger age are more "open" than are older relationships. It is a stereotype I am talking about. There are so many male who tend to act female, or better said more emotional and vice versa. Where I live it is just oldfashioned and it will take some time to change the acceptance of public crying in man. I don't believe in the "hard male" who never sheds a tear or showes any emotion.