Hi guys,

I've been gone for awhile, partly because of the move, and partly because my mother is very ill. I'm actually back with her (and my BF) for now, and we'll have to see what happens as we go.

Anyway, with all this going on, there have obviously been some tears. I've probably cried about four times in the past two weeks. Three of the times were just a couple of tears down my cheeks, since I was trying not to be noticed. The other time, I was in my old bedroom at my parents' house with my BF, and I couldn't hold it in very well. I started sobbing, but I really didn't want my parents to hear me, since we've all been trying to be upbeat and everything. So I sobbed silently (which was extremely difficult) in my BF's arms for about ten minutes. I felt a bit better afterward. I also cried a bit in the car as I was driving with BF to the store. I was upset because my best friend is on vacation and I haven't heard from him for awhile, and I kind of really need his support right now. It's obviously not his fault, but I just really want him to call me and hurry back. Anyway, my voice was kind of shaky as I talked about it to BF, but I held back the tears (sorry to disappoint!) since I was about to go into the store and didn't want to be a mess in public.

My BF also broke down once, since he's very close to my mom and also really stressed out with his work schedule. He was teary all day about a week ago, and he kept having to wipe his face and take deep breaths. Then, that night, we went home by ourselves (everyone else was out) to do a few things, and he collapsed on the couch, sobbing rather hysterically. Remember, he also hasn't really cried in like a year, so... Anyway, he was a bit hesitant at first, since he felt so tightly wound up, but I sat down next to him and we pulled a blanket over us. He let a couple of tears fall down at first, but then he completely gave in to his pain and sobbed. He cried pretty hard as I held him tightly in my arms against my chest for about half an hour. His sobs were pretty loud and intense.

Anyway, we're just all hoping everything turns out well. I'll be posting more now, though. Hope everyone's doing well!!