I was just wondering: for those of you who have had significant others you have slept in the same bed with, did/does your dacryphilia (or hurt/comfort fetish, I guess in this case) ever affect your mentality toward cuddling?  I can remember that I had several fantasies about holding my boyfriend and letting him cry himself to sleep or comforting him after a bad dream before I'd ever actually slept in a bed with him, and I that definitely affected my attitude toward him at night (and still does).  The first several times we shared a bed, I had these 'delusions of protectiveness.'  I would imagine that he was finding great comfort in sleeping with me and that my arms around him were making him feel safe and loved in a way that he rarely felt otherwise.  I would also keep myself awake for hours, getting carried away listening to the pattern of his breathing and the little moans he makes in his sleep to determine whether he was having a nightmare or not.  The delusions were pretty much ruined when he admitted that he actually has a harder time falling asleep when I'm cuddling him (though he tries to anyway because it means so much to me).  That was a big downer.  Also, I stopped losing so much sleep over listening to him breathe and stuff.  The old habits still manifest themselves in smaller ways, though.  If I happen to be awake and notice him doing something that seems indicative of a potential nightmare, I'll usually rub his back or arm or kiss his shoulder or something like that to try to soothe him into a more relaxed dream.  Usually, he will stop doing whatever he was doing after I "comfort" him like this, but whether that's because what I'm doing is actually calming him down or not, I have no real idea.  He never wakes up crying or anything like that, so it's all a guessing game.  I also really love being the big spoon, especially if he's the one that pulls my arm around him or if he's even just holding my hand.  Those things still kind of make me feel like I'm offering some sensation of safety, whether or not there's any truth to that.

Anyway, are any of you guilty of anything like this?  How does your fetish affect your mentality while cuddling?