So, I’ve actually gotten a couple of up-close-and-personal obs this past week that I’d love to share with you guys!  Oddly enough, the first one happened on Monday night, after I’d spent several hours perusing the forums.  I hadn’t been on in months because I haven’t had much private access to internet and it took me a while to get over that and just find a time to go on and check regardless, and so when I did come back on, I read through everything.  On my way home, I was actually thinking about how reading all that had gotten me in the perfect mindset to comfort someone and how I hoped the opportunity would randomly present itself.  When I did get home, my roommate (male; also one of my best friends) was sitting on the couch watching a TV show on his computer.  He paused it when I came in and I asked him about his day.  He started telling me the story, and I settled into the rocking chair across the room to listen.  Partway through, he got to a part where he ended up having to cancel something that really meant a lot to him.  As he said it, his voice broke and became thick with unshed tears, and though it was obvious that he was upset, it actually didn’t slow him down at all.  He kept talking about more bad things going on with him, not attempting to hide the emotions in his voice at all but instead just pushing through them to get out the story.  Finally, when he was finished speaking, he leaned forward and hid his face in his hands.   Feeling brave from my day on the forum, I quickly got up and moved to sit beside him on the couch, putting an arm around his shoulders and saying something in an attempt to be comforting.  He lifted his head to respond, expanding upon the things that had him so upset, and I could see that eyes were pink, although he was wiping the tears away as they came.  He put his head back in his hands and I rubbed his back for a minute and continued trying to reassure him.  After that, the conversation managed to make a turn for the lighter and his teariness quickly went away. 
 
A few days later, we had a really serious conversation to try to work out some problems we had been having between the two of us.  It started out with me sort of trying to coax him into telling me something.  At first, we were sitting across from each other, me on the couch and him in the chair.  Shortly after we started talking, he moved closer to the arm of the couch and sat on the floor (it made more sense in the context of the conversation).   At first, he was sort of avoiding saying it, and then he just sat there, staring blankly in front of him for several minutes.  Finally, he opened up about it, speaking softly as if trying to hold back his emotion.  It only took a minute or two, however, for him to break down crying.  I asked him a few questions from my seat on the couch, and I was tearing up a little, myself, about what he had told me (I wasn’t happy with him about it, but I was glad he’d been open with me about it, etc.)  After about five minutes, he’d told me everything I needed to know and I was able to put what he’d done to upset me behind me and focus on the fact that he was obviously still in a lot of pain.  I crept off the couch and settled down on the floor beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders.  He was actually downright sobbing this time.  When I first sat down with him, he had his back turned partially to me.  My left arm was around his shoulders, and I put my right hand on his forearm.  We were talking the whole time, him through his tears.  After a few minutes, he turned so that he was angled more toward me, and we leaned in so the sides of our heads (above the hairline) were touching.  Since this meant we were both looking down a little, I saw some tears falling into his lap.  I couldn’t see his face from this angle, but I assume they were falling straight out of his eyes or off of his cheeks, since his head was angled downward. 

We sat like this for about 10-ish minutes before we broke apart so he could yell at the dog (who was tormenting the cat).  At this point, he leaned back against the wall, and we continued talking.  He looked me in the eye, and I noticed that the whites of his eyes themselves were actually red from crying so hard.  After a few minutes, he bent over with another bout of sobs, and I put my arm back around him and leaned our heads together again.  We stayed like that for a good while longer, sometimes talking, sometimes not.  His sobs seemed to come in waves with quiet crying in between.  During one particularly bad wave, his sobs became so rapid and shallow and hiccup-y that he couldn’t really breathe.  I asked him if he was okay, and he just nodded his head against mine and focused on his breathing until he’d calmed down enough to talk. 

Eventually, everything seemed to be winding down and I took my arm off his shoulders and sat up.  His sobs had subsided, for the most part, but we continued talking for a while longer, and at one point, he leaned over of his own accord and rested his head on my shoulder.  I laid my head down on top of this, and we stayed like this until he finally decided to get up. 

We moved to the kitchen, and we were still talking, though there were more jokes and other lighthearted comments thrown in.  At one point, a few minutes later, his voice grew strained and thick again and his mouth started to contort with his words (not a lip curl, per se, he just wasn’t holding it in a natural way).  He was obviously trying not to start crying all over again.  We ended up having a long hug, and after that, he managed to cheer up more. 

We didn’t mention it again for the rest of the day, until we were getting ready to go to our respective bedrooms for the night.  He thanked me for everything, and we had another long hug.  Yet again, I could sort of hear a thickness in his voice and see his face trying to contort and betray him, but he stayed calm and went off to his room without breaking down again.  Even so, that might have been the most intense crying/comforting experience I've ever gotten to be a part of (at least from the comforting side), and it's definitely the most intense one I've ever experienced with a guy.

Last edited by punkchick (July 21, 2015 2:02 am)