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September 14, 2020 6:35 am  #1

2 new obs

Almost a month ago, I went through something very traumatic.

The first obs was like 5 days after the event, and it was the first time me and my boyfriend had really talked about what happened. I'm not a drinker on principle (I've only drank once in my life) but I wasn't coping very well so we got drunk at home so I don't remember much.
Anyways we were sitting on the couch and I sat on his lap facing him. I cried at some point leading up to this (I don't remember specifics). I remember him looking at me and his eyes getting wet and he said, "I feel like I failed you because I couldn't protect you."
I was honestly surprised so I asked why and he said, "I just feel like sh*t because I can't do anything about it." At that point his lips curled and his face contorted (he never cries like that, he's always expressionless).
His voice started shaking and he said, "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you." He closed his eyes and about 5 tears fell. Then he pulled me against his chest and immediately buried his face in my neck and started sobbing.
I was emotional too but I didn't know he felt like that so I was more surprised. I kept rubbing his hair and shoulders and telling him it was okay and it wasn't his fault. He only cried 5 minutes and he didn't dry his tears. I don't remember anything afterwards except him caressing me everywhere and asking if I was okay.

The second obs was about a week ago. He came to bed late and I was having a rough night due to the trauma. I was in bed on my back covering my eyes and sobbing when he wrapped his arms around my back and put me in his lap and laid my head on his shoulder. My tears soaked into his shirt. He didn't say anything, he just held me and kept rubbing my back and my hair. Eventually he pulled away to look at me and leaned his forehead against mine and kept caressing my hair. I was kinda ugly crying lol tears and snot everywhere, I had a lip curl and I sobbed kinda loudly. After a few moments he kissed my forehead and pulled me into his chest and put his chin on my head. He tried to talk me through what happened but I did more crying than talking. This lasted for about 2 hours until we went to sleep.

Last edited by Cryophilia (September 14, 2020 6:38 am)


September 14, 2020 2:08 pm  #2

Re: 2 new obs

When he pulled away to look at you, did he wipe or kiss your tears? Also, you say you cried intensely for about two hours, did you still have individual tear streaks or was your face completely covered in tears?


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