Long story short, I had a very brief obs today that made me feel awful. Normally, I don't have too big of a problem with this side of myself, but every now and again this overwhelming sense of guilt and shame just hits me and I feel really gross. I mean, I am literally attracted to a person's distress and vulnerability! And the sight and sound of my partner sobbing into a tissue is going to be burned into my memory forever! They don't like being emotionally vulnerable like that, and I don't blame them, but I at least want to be able to support them. Sometimes I worry that part of the reason they hate crying in front of me is because I'm a dacryphile and they know it. I would never judge someone for being emotionally vulnerable, and I want to be available to them if they need a shoulder to cry on. But no, the one person for whom I did fill that role left in July, and now I'm just left feeling guilty and gross for wanting to hold my crying partner.

Am I the only one who feels guilty over being a dacryphile? Does this make any sense at all? I just feel so gross right now.