Hello again Cryophilia, you definitely got my attention with this heart-wrenching, yet sweet fic. I'd love to continue reading it, hopefully reaching the final results from the hospital, I also really loved the fact that they cried unashamedly with people staring at them.

I don't remember what happened next, it's like I totally blacked out. The next thing I remember, I was sat in Adam's arms, totally blank. I was staring into space, and I guess I had cried so much I was too tired to go on. It was getting dark, and we were on the floor. I was leaning on Adam's chest, my face tucked into his neck. I'd cried all day until I was numb.

But I guess he was just getting started, because the only thing I remember was his arms wrapped around me, his hands in my hair, and his sobs. I had my arms around him, my face buried in his neck. I'd lost my soulmate, my boyfriend, and here Adam was weeping for me. Nothing made me feel more loved than in that moment.

His cries were quiet, but they echoed in my apartment. His arms gripped my shirt, his chin pressed against the top of my head. His chest heaved with every sob, and his hands shook.

I was numb, and here he was, feeling all of my pain so deeply. My legs were wrapped around his hips, and eventually I needed to pull away. I needed to see his eyes. But nothing prepared me for his tears. His cheeks were stained with tears steadily streaming. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Tears overflowed and rushed down his cheeks as he looked at me, a crease in his eyebrows.

"You okay?" he asked me.

I shook my head, no words could be spoken. His sharp intake of breath startled me as fresh tears made their way down his face. He pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug as he cried for the both of us. I pulled away, desperate to dry his tears.

I reached up and held my thumbs under his eyes, in an effort to catch the tears he shed. I thought it would calm him down, but it seemed to invite larger tears. His breath hitched as he held his eye contact with me.

"I lost my boyfriend, my love. But I never expected you to cry this way." I said, slowly running my thumbs down his cheeks. It proved to be futile, for every tear I dried, 3 new streaks appeared.

He took a breath, shutting his eyes to steady himself. "I love you with all my heart. You're my best friend, my everything, and I'd go to the ends of the earth for you. I know how much you loved him, and I know how happy he made you. You have been through so much pain in your life, and I spent so many years begging for you to find somebody to make you happy. You've gone through depression, suicide, and so much more and I just—i feel your pain, but I also worry for you. He brought you out of your shell, you were happy and you saw the world in color. I'm just afraid of losing you to the darkness of your grief. But I love you, I'd rather cry with you and carry you every step of the way than lose you to the darkness. I know what you're going through, I've lost my own, but I'm going to spend my weeks and months carrying you through. I will move in with you so you don't have to be alone, and I'll help you get through it all. Just, please, don't shut me out. You aren't alone, I promise you."

He looked down, entwined his fingers, and looked back up at me, searching my eyes. I don't know what he was looking for, I feel like I was a shell of a person. His words somehow put me back together and broke me all over again. "Then why do I feel so alone?" I asked. I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I pulled my hands away from him and covered my face. Tears fell through my fingers and down my chin as I sobbed.

He pulled my hands away from my face and held my gaze. I'd never heard his voice crack before, but it did as he said, "You're never gonna be alone. I'm gonna be here every step of the way, okay?" He leaned his forehead against mine.

Last edited by Cryophilia (May 2, 2023 7:47 am)

Adam's POV

At some point we fell asleep. When I woke up I carried her to her bed. I was about to go sleep on the couch, when she pulled me closer to her.

I laid down next to her, resting my arm over her stomach. It felt like we were teenagers again, falling asleep in the same bed together.

The next morning, she was up before me. She sat in the kitchen, with coffee in a mug in her hands.

"We've run out of food, so I'm going to go shop," she said.

"I'm your guest, you're going through things. I'll go get what you need, just make me a list," I offered.

"No," she shook her head. "I just need to get out and clear my head. This will help."

I was hesitant to let her go, but I trusted her. Sometimes you need that outdoor air. She got dressed and left.

When she eventually came home she looked rough as ever. I’d already made dinner so we sat down to eat, but we pretty much ate in silence. She rarely even looked up from her food. I asked if she wanted to talk and she brushed me off. Once we’d finished I asked him if she'd like me to draw her a bath.

I dimmed the bathroom lights and put some relaxing music we both enjoy on the speaker. I got the shower nice and hot and had her climb into the shower. While she bathed, I changed her sheets.

When she came out, she was quiet. She hardly said a word during all this and she looked like she could cry any minute. I wasn’t sure what to say, I didn’t want to pressure her into anything so I just looked her in the eyes, smiled and said “It’s ok”.

After she dried herself and got dressed, we both sat there for a while, not speaking. I didn't want to interrupt her thoughts. I kept running my hand up and down her back, across her cheek and her head.

We climbed into bed and I put the TV on, I was half watching it and half playing with her hair. I asked if she wanted to talk about anything and she shook her head. I could tell she was really upset despite trying to hide it.

Maybe 20 mins later, I could see her literally on the verge of tears. I rolled to my side and put my arms around her pulling her into my chest, that’s when she started. The tears began to flow and she sobbed and sobbed. She was squeezing me so tight sometimes it was hard to breathe.

I could feel the bottled up emotions flowing out. She continued crying harder & it broke my heart. She said something about her boyfriend but I couldn’t hear as it was muffled. Seeing someone you love like that, clinging onto you as though you were going to leave while she let it all out hurt my heart.

Tears burned my eyes and I just held her tight and kept whispering how much I loved her. Even when she eventually stopped sobbing she continued to have her arms wrapped around me so tightly with her face buried in either my stomach or chest. I continued just comforting her until she fell asleep.

It was an emotional experience, seeing your best friend break down like that and there's nothing you could do.

Last edited by Cryophilia (May 12, 2023 9:36 am)

Pretty Good!❤️