Thoughts stuck in my head on the way home from work. Now I'm fighting not to be teary eyed again.

BananaTree wrote:

I despise crying. It hurts my face, clogs my nose and my eyes burn. I hate anyone seeing me cry. I don't know why. My mother says I'm unfeeling and cold and I could cry to show her I'm not but then...I hate crying in front of people. I identify with mostly everyone in this thread.

I can't remember what the exact circumstances were, but there's been a few times my mom had said to me stuff like "it's ok to cry" or " crying helps" when something bad was going on.  Think she's also hinted around that I might be unfeeling or emotionally shut down.  It's not that at all,  i can feel stuff without her seeing it physically manifest in tears.

Mostly it just severely pisses me off when she says that but I can't act like it or that would really alarm her

To update...my friend and I said goodbye. She was sort of numb, I was misty eyed. It hurt, but it could have hurt worse.

I thought about taking a selfie of my wet eyes to show on here, but it seemed a little odd at the time. Afterwards I needed distractions so I piled a few friends in my Jeep and we drove up to the mountains and went skinny dipping by starlight. Then had a campfire and beer till two a.m. Best kind of consolation.

I do find it can feel good to cry but only if I really am able to let go and really cry.  Stifled crying just makes me feel worse.

I also find it meaningful to have a physical manifestation of my pain.  A tangible,  visual measurable demonstration of what I'm feeling rather than trying to find words.

Last edited by inmyarmsagain (September 7, 2016 8:33 pm)

cribdeaths wrote:

I cry so much I have seemingly permanent lines under my eyes

That sounds like pretty powerful crying.