almost no tears

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Posted by flatter
October 20, 2013 7:25 am
#1

I have to tell you something. Last summer I had a minor operation done. I had to stay in hospital because of complications for a few days. The hospital is a 13 story building and has a nice garden outside where you can go strolling around. There is a pavillon made of roses, some water, really nice. When I felt better I went outside towards the evening, the sun was shining and I walked around on the paths in the roses, I was allone in the garden, all the people and children which hat been playing earlyer had allready left and gone home. Because I was still a little bit week I decided to go back to my room and walked towards the house. I saw a window open somewhere in the 5th floor. I don't know why I was watching there at that specific moment, but I saw a person with a white night gown moving to the open window. It came to my mind like a bolt: what is this woman doing? She was standing at the open window for a moment then she climbed on the window sill. She was carring an infusionpost (where the drip hangs). I was shouting on the top of my lungs: "don't do it!" but she took this one step and fell out of the window head first. There was a white something in the air for some seconds and than a thumb and than it was quiet. I run towards the house as good as I could, there were sitting some ambulance men and I told them what I just saw. I was not hysteric just felt like hit by a car by this incidence. I had the feeling that the ambulancemen didn't take me seriously and I went back to my room. There I opened the window and watched out. I could see the person lying down on a little roof in front of the pediatric ward! After a few moments somebody climbed out of the window of the pediatric ward and shortly after there was a whole bunch of people standing there. I don't know how long this went on, I just know that at the end they took the corpse inside and they took a big hose and removed the mess, it was so unreal. When the nurse on my ward came in I told her what I saw, still being very calm. I she wanted to send me the pastor but I told her, that I don't have the time for him because my husband called me the moment before and was on his way to visit me together with our two children. I survived the visit, the following night and the next morning. The pastor came to talk with me about what I saw. I told her (it was a she) and she gave me some more information, that it was a woman having cancer, that she stayed there with the woman until she was really death. Tears were running down my cheeks when I told her but it was just the tears, no sobbing, no shaking voice. Last night I had a dream about the incidence it keeps coming back.  
 

 
Posted by caircair
October 20, 2013 9:52 pm
#2

Sounds like this may possibly have triggered a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That was a very traumatic event to witness, and it may mean you should talk with a therapist about it to help deal with the feelings you had and have.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 
Posted by flatter
October 22, 2013 11:07 am
#3

I know ist is a post traumatic stress because I work myself with people having ptsd. I just was astonished about my own reaction. Everything is different if you are concerned yourself

 
Posted by caircair
October 23, 2013 3:08 am
#4

Exactly.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 


 
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