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August 2, 2011 10:55 pm  #1


Awkwardness of family crying

Does anyone here feel awkward when family members cry? Because crying has a sexual component for me, I feel REALLY awkward when family members cry. Which bothers me, because I care so much about my family, and they're so adept at comforting me, so I wish I didn't feel awkward. My dad rarely cries; I think I've only seen him cry twice. Granted, he made it kind of awkward, because he's the type of guy who's really uncomfortable about emotions. My mom cries quite often, though (she doesn't have a hard life, she's just easily brought to tears), and I always wish I could just naturally comfort her.

Let me just say that I don't find myself getting aroused or anything AT ALL when my family cries. I am just so focused on/aware of crying that I get uncomfortable.

Does anyone else find this?

 

August 2, 2011 11:10 pm  #2


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

Only when the male family members cry. I generally enjoy it when the female members cry (except my mother and sister), unless I'm sharing the tragedy with them (like death in the family).


Women crying is super hot  ~TorNorth
 

August 3, 2011 7:31 pm  #3


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

I find it difficult and awkward with that 'first line' of family members - Mum, Dad, Brother, Grand Parents (when they were alive).
Not sure why exactly but I guess it's because they are so close and any pain expressed by them is immediately and fully transferred to me.

But, when you move out to the next level, which includes cousins, sister-in-law's etc that ackwardness goes completely.
I've seen two out of three sister-in-laws crying with tears rolling dowm their cheeks and been turn on each time. I remember seeing my wife and both her sisters crying at the same time and noticing little similarities in their actions which was so weird. They all cried silently, they only wiped their tears away when they reached their mouths, their tears seamed to fall in unision - makes you wonder if the way you cry is in-built.

I've not seen my brother's wife cry yet - she rarely cries - but she has talked about times she has cried and tears which have streamed down her cheeks - if only she would let them out when I'm around. I find tears from women who don't cry often strangely arousing.

 

August 3, 2011 9:18 pm  #4


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

It's weird, my parents have a totally different view of my than my boyfriend and friends. The latter see me as a natural comforter and a nurturer, and my boyfriend sees me cry once in a while (not my friends so much). But I think my parents think I'm cold. I hate seeing them cry and feel really awkward and almost angry sometimes. They talk about how I never ever cry, I'm strong and stoic etc.


It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
 

August 4, 2011 2:48 am  #5


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

The whole TOPIC of family makes me uncomfortable, lol.  I guess I am really particular about who I want to see cry.  Male friends.  And my husband, but ONLY if his crying felt therapeutic to him on some level (he considers crying unpleasant and generally bad, whereas I view my own crying as cathartic!)

 

August 4, 2011 3:45 am  #6


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

woundedpuppy wrote:

The whole TOPIC of family makes me uncomfortable, lol.  I guess I am really particular about who I want to see cry.  Male friends.  And my husband, but ONLY if his crying felt therapeutic to him on some level (he considers crying unpleasant and generally bad, whereas I view my own crying as cathartic!)

I know this is off-topic in my own thread, haha, but you've said that your husband doesn't like crying and rarely cries. I'm just curious: how many times have you seen him cry?

     Thread Starter
 

August 4, 2011 3:58 am  #7


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

Also, meantangerine -- I know what you're saying! I start to feel a little angry sometimes too when my family cries. I don't understand it at all. Maybe I'm more angry at what I'm feeling and being unable to overcome the uncomfortableness and provide comfort. I had a discussion about this with a colleague, interestingly enough. She said that she feels slightly traumatized by seeing her parents cry because it made her feel a loss of control, especially as a young child. Like, her parents were supposed to be stable and level, and here they were, breaking down. I understand that -- I remember the first time I was aware of my mother crying. I was about 5, and it was pretty scary.

Anyway, so I can understand why it makes me sort of angry. It's a reaction I can't exactly control, even though it bothers me.

@Woundedpuppy: I agree, I much prefer to see my boyfriend/male friends crying. The few times I've seen random men crying, I've just felt frustrated, because I can't just walk over and start hugging them, lol. Random women crying don't turn me on that much either... The situation has to be just right.

     Thread Starter
 

August 4, 2011 9:10 pm  #8


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

carrotcake wrote:

I know this is off-topic in my own thread, haha, but you've said that your husband doesn't like crying and rarely cries. I'm just curious: how many times have you seen him cry?

Well, we've been married a while and dated loong before that (I don't want to say how long on the public forum, although I know there's no way that little bit of info reveals who I am... still paranoid about it, though).  Anyway, since you asked, I'm guessing around 5-7 times?  Each time has been because of relationship issues between us.  And I'm sure some of the 5-7 times have been in pairs (like, fighting two days in a row, or crying at two separate times in one day).  None of the times have lasted more than a few minutes.  The last time he cried was 7 years ago.  He knew at that time about my fetish.  I would say that he is like any other guy while he is crying in front of his partner in the sense that he is comfortable enough with me seeing him cry (I'm sure I'm special in that way) and he is able to take comforting from me.  I guess he just doesn't like to cry in the first place.  He finds it sad, depressing, and above all, useless.  I guess he just doesn't appreciate, or doesn't feel, the "release" like some people do.

 

August 5, 2011 2:38 am  #9


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

woundedpuppy wrote:

carrotcake wrote:

I know this is off-topic in my own thread, haha, but you've said that your husband doesn't like crying and rarely cries. I'm just curious: how many times have you seen him cry?

Well, we've been married a while and dated loong before that (I don't want to say how long on the public forum, although I know there's no way that little bit of info reveals who I am... still paranoid about it, though).  Anyway, since you asked, I'm guessing around 5-7 times?  Each time has been because of relationship issues between us.  And I'm sure some of the 5-7 times have been in pairs (like, fighting two days in a row, or crying at two separate times in one day).  None of the times have lasted more than a few minutes.  The last time he cried was 7 years ago.  He knew at that time about my fetish.  I would say that he is like any other guy while he is crying in front of his partner in the sense that he is comfortable enough with me seeing him cry (I'm sure I'm special in that way) and he is able to take comforting from me.  I guess he just doesn't like to cry in the first place.  He finds it sad, depressing, and above all, useless.  I guess he just doesn't appreciate, or doesn't feel, the "release" like some people do.

Haha, I'm so paranoid too... A lot of times, I stop and stare at what I've posted, trying to decide whether I've given too much personal information (about something random, like "I talked to my friend last night," haha).

     Thread Starter
 

August 6, 2011 9:20 am  #10


Re: Awkwardness of family crying

Yeah. I would not like to see my family members cry at all. It'd be really very uncomfortable

 

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