I first noticed my infatuation / getting aroused by crying at a pretty young age, and on two separate occasions. Both, for reasons beyond my comprehension, were so powerfully memorable that they've stayed with me ever since. I'm only now in my early twenties but I highly doubt I will be forgetting my first encounters anytime in the near (or far) future...

The first experience happened when I was ten years old. I grew up in a strongly religious family so we were always going to church. One day at church, a middle-aged lady who was a sweet family friend and someone I'd known since birth, broke down crying before the service. I was told afterward by my parents that she was "sad sometimes" (actually depression I suppose), but the fact that I didn't know that beforehand and didn't see it coming made it all the more arousing. I was sitting on a couch out in the foyer when I saw the lady approaching. I told her good morning as she kept walking closer to me. She stopped suddenly and turned her head to look directly at me. I could see tears already streaming down her cheeks as her eyes filled back up with water. She opened her mouth and quite nonchalantly said "I'm gonna cry." More tears rushed down her face and she walked off in the other direction. As I watched her, confused but curious, I could hear the sound of her crying as she walked. I spent the next few months obsessing over what I experienced. I had never witnessed something like that and it greatly excited me for reasons I still don't know. For that particular incident, I don't think it was the fact that she was crying. What really turns me on to this day is the fact that she first announced to me that she was "going to cry." Also, the way she said it. I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

The second time was a couple of years later, and this one really IS about the crying part. My parents were out and I had a babysitter watching me. She was obviously a few years older and I had always thought she was gorgeous. My sitter had an older sister who had been extremely sick for a few months. Nobody was expecting her to make it through, but that still didn't stop the tears. As we were sitting on the living room sofa watching a movie, my sitter got the call from her mom. As far as I'm able to remember, all I heard her say on the phone was: "Are you serious?" A few seconds pass and she's already trying to hold back the tears. She then says the word "bye" in a way you would say it in a crying voice. She hung up the phone and didn't hold back. Without l even moving from her seat, she cried hysterically. I remained in my seat, fully aware that her sister had just died. And even as bad as I feel about it today, I could not help myself. I watched her crying and enjoyed it immensely. Not for the reason she was crying, of course, I'm not THAT bad of a person. But the way she cried. The sounds of her moans and sobs and grunts and every sound she made throughout the crying. It lasted a good few hours. I should also note that after i had gotten my satisfaction from watching her cry, I finally snapped out of the spell and did my best to comfort her. Still, I thought about this experience in the days ahead and used it to my advantage time and again. And just like I can clearly remember the way the lady told me she was going to cry, I can also remember the way my babysitter cried. I think about both to this day.

So, this should make it clear that people with these kinds of fetishes usually can't understand or control why we feel this way. I don't know why I got aroused, yes, sexually aroused by these crying women. But now almost every time i witness something similar, it's hard to hold back the fantasies and the urges.