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August 1, 2011 1:06 pm  #1

Short fic #1

Here's an original mini-fic for ya.  Just to start the ball rolling...

He felt his stomach start to sink.  It was like he had just been punched in the gut.  She didn't love him anymore.  He should have seen the signs.  Perhaps he'd been in denial, needing her love like a drug, just to get through the day.  But now it was obvious.  Painfully so.  He swallowed and felt a lump begin to form in his throat.  It was becoming harder to breathe.  Shutting his eyes, he tried to keep the feelings at bay.  But they were starting to overcome him.  He bit his lower lip, which was starting to quiver.  Tears were forming in his eyes, which he kept blinking back.  He sighed and tried to think happy thoughts, but it was useless.  The pain was encompassing his entire being.  Now, beginning to lose it, he choked out a response.  "Please... no..." he said, his voice high pitched and cracking with emotion.  But she turned her head coldly and walked out the door.  As the door slammed, he felt as if it were another punch in the gut, and that did it.  His face contorted, a sob escaped his lips, and the tears finally started to flow.  Down his cheeks they tumbled, one by one, with more welling up and following the trail of the previous ones.  His body heaved with sobs as he bent slightly forward.  He felt like he would die.  Collapsing into a chair, he put his face in his hands and lost it completely.  She was out of his life forever.  How could he have screwed this up?

At that exact moment, his next door neighbor came walking through the door.  Without a word, she walked over to him and put a hand on his shaky shoulders and started rubbing them sympathetically.  He looked up at her gratefully, and, feeling touched by her gesture, started crying even harder.  She knelt down in front of him and started hugging him and telling him it was alright.  That everything was going to be OK.  He rested his head on her shoulder and just let himself cry.  He felt safe letting it out in front of her.  This was what he needed.  Her timing couldn't have been more perfect.

They fumbled a few times, with him sniffling so much that a tissue was warranted, but she managed to find one in her purse and handed it to him.  As he blew his nose, she stroked his hair, never wanting to let go of him in this fragile state.  His expression was a bit sheepish and apologetic, for he had never broken down in front of her before, but it seemed like she didn't think any less of him.  In fact, it just seemed to bring them closer together.

When it was all over, she kissed him lightly on the cheek and told him that anytime he needed her, she'd be there for him.  And then she left.

Exhausted, he curled up in the chair and closed his eyes.  Yes, he decided.  He would definitely take her up on that offer.

Last edited by woundedpuppy (August 1, 2011 1:09 pm)


August 2, 2011 2:30 pm  #2

Re: Short fic #1

Perfect. You captured his vulnerability and her concern. An excellent fetishist's story.


August 19, 2011 7:33 pm  #3

Re: Short fic #1

woundedpuppy wrote:

...His body heaved with sobs as he bent slightly forward....

Nice, this sentence made pictures in my head

Tears are words the heart can't express...

July 28, 2018 2:20 pm  #4

Re: Short fic #1

woundedpuppy wrote:

When it was all over, she kissed him lightly on the cheek and told him that anytime he needed her, she'd be there for him.  And then she left.

You capture the small details that only someone who is sensitive to tears would do. In that small sentence I pictured the young man, ashamed, but transparent, no mask, no walls or pretending, as the sensitive girl tenderly kisses a tear from his tear stained cheeks. Wonderful.


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